The Toa Nuva's Hotel

[Master Inika]

Hi, I'm Master Inika. Once upon a time, I wrote a comedy on BZPower called The Toa Mata's Hotel. Like most of what I wrote back then, it wasn't very good. Still, I have been feeling wistful recently, so I thought I'd revive it... weird script format and all. I admit it is more experimental than my recent fare, but I hope you all give it a chance and like it.

 

THE TOA MATA'S NUVA'S HOTEL

EPISODE I: TROUBLE IN PARADISE

 

*Enter TAHU, GALI, POHATU, KOPAKA, LEWA and ONUA.*

 

GALI: My brothers, our mission has been completed. Makuta has been vanquished once and for all and the Matoran are free to live their lives in peace. This means our journey is at an end, and the time approaches to fulfill out destiny...

 

POHATU: Opening the best hotel on Spherus Magna!!!

 

GALI: What? No, to become Turaga!

 

TAHU: Hold your Rahi, Gali. Let's hear the man out.

 

POHATU: It's always been my dearest lifelong dream to open a hotel with my five best friends.

 

KOPAKA: Really?? You've never mentioned this before.

 

POHATU: There's a lot you don't know about me. I have a life outside of you guys, you know.

 

TAHU: Okay, we'll put it to a vote. All in favor of opening the Toa Nuva's Hotel, raise your hand.

 

*Pohatu, Onua and Tahu raise their hands.*

 

TAHU: Now, all opposed.

 

*Gali, Kopaka and Lewa raise their hands.*

 

TAHU: Hmm, it appears we are at an impasse.

 

*Enter TAKANUVA.*

 

TAKANUVA: Did someone say "tiebreaker"??

 

TAHU: No, no one said... whatever. Do you think we should open a hotel or not?

 

TAKANUVA: Hmm, this is a decision that could affect my entire life! I shall have to think about it... okay, I'll do it.

 

POHATU: That was easy.

 

*At the empty lot.*

 

TAHU: We shall have to summon all our elemental powers to make this hotel a reality! Onua, start us off!

 

ONUA: EARTH!

 

*Onua creates the foundation of the hotel.*

 

POHATU: Stone!

 

*Pohatu uses rocks to make the walls and architecture of the hotel.*

 

GALI: Water!

 

*Gali gives the hotel running water.*

 

LEWA: Air! ...wait, just what am I supposed to contribute here?

 

*Thinking quickly, Tahu sets up a wind chime, which Lewa's gust of air makes sound pleasantly.*

 

KOPAKA: Ice!

 

*Kopaka creates a beautiful ice sculpture for the foyer of the hotel.*

 

TAHU: and FIRE!

 

*Tahu accidentally burns down the hotel.*

 

KOPAKA: What now, smart guy?

 

TAHU: Now... plan B!

 

*Tahu starts whistling and walking away backward.*

 

LEWA: You all heard the man!

 

*Everyone else also walks away whistling.*

 

*Back at the Toa HQ, Tahu is looking at his chalkboard of things the Toa have tried and failed opening.*

 

HOSPITAL

CAR WASH

5-STAR RESTAURANT

4-STAR RESTAURANT

RESTAURANT

BALLET STUDIO

SUMMER CAMP

HOTEL

 

*Tahu crosses out HOTEL.*

 

*Enter Takanuva.*

 

TAKANUVA: So, I hear the hotel didn't work out so well.

 

TAHU: Well, at least the fire marshal chose not to press charges.

 

TAKANUVA: Tahu, you're the fire marshal.

 

TAHU: I know, he's such a nice guy.

 

*Enter Pohatu.*

 

TAHU: Sorry our hotel didn't quite work out, buddy.

 

POHATU: What hotel?

 

TAHU: The one we tried opening earlier today?

 

POHATU: Ohhh, right. That hotel. I'm over it.

 

TAHU: What? But I thought it had always been your dearest lifelong dream?

 

POHATU: Oh, you misunderstood. Opening a hotel was always my dearest lifelong dream this morning. Now, it's to open an ice cream parlor!

 

TAHU: Sometimes I'm surprised we've ever accomplished anything.

 

POHATU: Is that a yes on the ice cream parlor, Big T??

 

TAHU: ...yes. And don't call me Big T.

 

Tune in next time for more Toa antics!

[Master Inika]

THE TOA MATA'S NUVA'S HOTEL ICE CREAM PARLOR

 

EPISODE II: DEEP FREEZE

 

*SOLEK is at his ice cream parlor, providing delicious and refreshing cold desserts to the good people of Spherus Magna.*

 

SOLEK: Goodbye, come again soon!

 

*The Toa Nuva appear behind him.*

 

TAHU: They WILL come again soon... to OUR ice cream parlor!!

 

SOLEK: Nooo! Why would you do this?

 

LEWA: Because, it's always been our brother-friend Pohatu's dream to own an ice cream parlor!

 

*Pohatu is in the corner, drawing a picture of himself as a famous monster truck driver.*

 

POHATU: Crash, crush! Destruction!

 

LEWA: ...at least, it had always been his dream yesterday!

 

*Gali readies her tools.*

 

GALI: Come on, Solek. We can do this the easy way, or...

 

*Solek flees in terror.*

 

SOLEK: Those guys have gotten way less cool since they haven't had any bad guys to fight.

 

TAHU: Great work, team! Solek's Ice Cream Parlor is now OURS!

 

*Tahu shoots a celebratory firebolt, which ignites the ice cream parlor, but Gali quickly conjures a raincloud to put it out.*

 

GALI: Not this time, Tahu's powers!

 

*Enter TANMA and PHOTOK.*

 

TANMA: Hey, what happened to our friend's ice cream store?

 

ONUA: It's ours now, bub!

 

LEWA: Yeah!

 

PHOTOK: But it's always been Solek's ice cream stand.

 

TAHU: If you want ice cream, you've come to the right place. If you want to talk about ancient history, Turaga Whenua is over there.

 

*Tanma and Photok look to where Tahu is pointing, which is just empty space.*

 

TANMA: Um... no, he isn't.

 

*At Whenua's house, he looks up from his book.*

 

WHENUA: Huh, I have the strangest feeling someone just mentioned my name while insulting someone... oh well.

 

*Back at the ice cream parlor.*

 

TAHU: I'm being poetic! Just buy some ice cream or scram!!!

 

*The Av-Matoran flee in terror as RADIAK, GAVLA and KIROP enter.*

 

RADIAK: What's their problem?

 

GALI: No idea. Want some ice cream?

 

*The Shadow Matoran buy their ice cream, but then stand around awkwardly without leaving.*

 

GAVLA: You know, this ice cream would be even more enjoyable if we had a place, a home away from home, where we could enjoy it!

 

*A light bulb goes off over Tahu's head.*

 

TAHU: Thanks, Takanuva!

 

TAKANUVA: No problem, buddy!

 

TAHU: Guys, I just had the BEST idea ever! What if, along with ice cream, we rent out space in a large, multi-storied building, offering amenities such as meals, electricity and a pool, so that people can go there for relaxation! That way, we'll sell even more ice cream!

 

ONUA: Why, that almost sounds like some sort of... hotel-like institution!

 

TAHU: Yeah, but even better, because we'll have ice cream!

 

ALL TOA and ALL SHADOW MATORAN: Hooray!

 

*Meanwhile, in the ruins of Makuta's Lair, the BOHROK, the RAHKSHI, the VAHKI and other villains have gathered before a SHADOWY FIGURE...*

 

SHADOWY FIGURE: You all may be wondering why I have gathered you here today...

 

VEZOK: Um, not really. Your flyer said "REVENGE ON THE TOA NUVA" in big red letters, so we all just kind of showed up for that.

 

KALMAH: And the free cookies!

 

*The SHADOWY FIGURE removes his hood, revealing himself to be...*

 

SOLEK: You fools! I don't have all day to explain it all, we just have to launch an attack on the Toa Nuva and defeat them once and for all!

 

VILLAINS: Yeah!

 

Who will win in the final confrontation between Ice Cream Parlor Operators and non-Ice Cream Parlor Operators? Find out next time on THE TOA NUVA'S ICE CREAM PARLOR!!!

[Master Inika]

THE TOA NUVA'S HOTEL

EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SOLEK

SOLEK is addressing an assembled army of Rahi, Bohrok, Rahkshi, Visorak, Piraka, Barraki, and Skrall.

SOLEK: Now, my minions, follow me to glorious victory! The Toa Nuva will pay for their crimes. We will make them regret messing with us. For one hundred thousand years, no one will even utter the name "Toa Nuva" without shuddering in absolute fear and terror at the fright and comprehensiveness of their ultimate defeat!

HAKANN: dude, they took over your ice cream parlor. Calm down.

MEANWHILE AT THE ICE CREAM PARLOR/HOTEL

Gali: What are you doing, brother?

Pohatu: You know how all the fanciest hotels put those little chocolates on your pillow? I'm making some of those. *Pohatu presents a pile of wrapped chocolate Nuva Symbols*

Gali: Great idea, brother! *Gali takes and unwraps one, but when she tries to eat it, her eyes go wide and she spits it out.* PTUH! Brother, those are rocks!

Pohatu: Yeah, I couldn't afford any chocolate, so I'm just using those.

Gali: You're not actually giving those to the hotel guests, are you?

Pohatu: ...why, should I not have?

MEANWHILE MEANWHILE IN THE HOTEL MANAGER'S OFFICE...

Tahu: Listen up, fellas! Our hotel guest rates are here *Tahu holds his hand super low* when they need to be here! *Holds his hand up high* This is a hotel, not a charity, and we need to fill rooms to turn a profit!

Onua: Now that I think about it, the charity that opened up next door might be why we'e not getting more traffic.

Tahu: WHAT?!?! Someone opened a CHARITY next to our FOR-PROFIT HOTEL? What selfish fiends! Don't they ever think about anyone other than themselves?

Kopaka: Hey, Tahu.

Tahu: We're taking the battle to that charity! We'll make them think twice before helping the needy around here!

Kopaka: Tahu.

Tahu: Now what happened to that tank I bought on eBay, I knew it would come in handy--

Kopaka: TAHU!

Tahu: What?

*Kopaka grabs Tahu's head and forcibly turns it to the large crowd approaching the hotel*

Tahu: All right! Hotel guests! Now that's what I'm talking about.

*someone in the crowd fires a Cordak, which strikes Tahu and blows up. Tahu turns around, soot covering his face.*

Tahu: Huh, they accidentally fired a rocket directly at my face. That's weird.

*The army unfurls a banner depicting Tahu's Hau Nuva, with an "X" marked over it*

Onua: I don't think it was an accident.

SOLEK: Tremble, Toa! For today shall be your LAST! Muahahaha!

To be continued...

[Elijah117117]

Love the loony tunes energy; this series has been pure comedic gold all the way through!