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All right, this looks to be the first comedy I've posted since... forever. I know a lot of people don't like my comedies anymore and that I should "give up" since I've been at this since 2006, but I think different. For anyone confused about this comedy, this is actually going to be an exclusive to BZP for the time being. This is actually somewhat of a spin-off of my LOZ/Bionicle crossover and it is going to bridge the gap between The Dimwit of Time and Twilight Delinquent. Because both are still being made and because this is going to be a major spoiler for TD, it will be on here just because someone asked me to post The Dimwit of Time on here (however, I'm not going to because when I did put it on BZP, people said they didn't like it).So then, it takes place after DOT where Lewa (equivalent to Link) has defeated Antroz (equivalent to Ganondorf/Ganon) and after The Moron's Mask where Lewa tries to search for Navi, but ends up finding some bigger trouble instead (equivalent to Majora/Majora's Mask). After defeating said trouble, he returns home. Around that same time in another universe, there exists the Hero Factory, and for a brief moment both worlds are about to soon meet.So as such, the story is going to contain material from the previous comedies most people have not read, plus a few things that maybe people who read my older comedies would understand. For the most part, I think it can stand on its own. I've answered most of the big questions up above. Now onto the story.Narrator: Deep within the Hero Factory of Makuhero city, things were about to take an interesting turn for one Mark Surge of the Alpha team courtesy of one Nathaniel Zibb. Young Surge would soon be called away on a business trip, one that would change his life and make him network with new people. He would be heading off with a first class ticket to The Zone Where Normal Things Don’t Happen Very Often.Zibb: Just a little more tweaks here…Surge: Hey, Zibb, what’re you doing?Zibb: Oh, Surge. Aren’t you supposed to be at the training sphere?Surge: Yeah, but I got bored.Zibb: Don’t you have anything else to do aside from annoy me?Surge: Nope. Not really.Zibb, sighs: Fine. I’m working on this new invention. I’ve been working on it for quite some time.*Surge looks over and sees they’re just two padded circles with a red button in the middle of each.*Surge: So what does it do?Zibb: It’s still in the experimental stages, but what it’s meant to do is allow someone to run at supersonic speeds with little to no effort.Surge: What good is that?Zibb: Well… You see… When you… okay, I don’t know what good it is, but it sounds cool, right?*Surge takes both of them and attaches them to his feet. He pretends to job in place.*Zibb: You better be careful, that invention still hasn’t been perfected yet. The effects could be disastrous.Surge: Ah, what could go wrong?*Surge then stomps his foot down, triggering Zibb’s unnamed invention and making his foot vibrate. This chain affect makes his other foot vibrate until he is forcibly made to run forward until he rips the fabric of time and space, disappearing.*Zibb: Oh, that can’t be good…Furno: Hey, Zibb. Have you seen Surge?Zibb: Surge? Who is Surge?Furno: Come on, you know who I’m talking about.Zibb: I’m afraid he’s taken one of my inventions and now he’s lost somewhere in time and space.Furno: But you can get him back, can’t you?Zibb: I don’t know how.Furno: :( That can’t be good…*No, it wasn’t. Eventually, Surge arrived in a pocket dimension of universe parallel to their own full of beings of biomechanical origin. However, in this pocket dimension, things were much more out of control…**Lewa was walking around in the Lost Woods trying to grind for rupees. He cut through some of the grass and found a few. Then, he took a pumpkin and threw it, making more rupees appear.*Lewa: Money doesn’t grow on trees. It grows inside pumpkins. How about rocks?*Lewa takes a heavy rock over his head, but because it is so heavy and he doesn’t have a Pakari, he drops it and knocks himself out cold.**Meanwhile, Surge ends up in the Lost Woods and discovers Lewa.*Surge: Hmm… a local. Maybe he can help me find out where I am.*Surge walks over to Lewa’s unconscious body. He waves his hand in front of his mask, trying to wake him up.*Surge: Hey! Hello? Hey! Listen. Can you help me out here? Hello? Hey! Listen.*Lewa, dazed, slowly woke back up. First thing he saw was Surge’s blue head. His vision was still blurred, so he couldn’t fully see who it was. However, Surge’s “interesting” dialogue makes him almost mistake him for someone else…*Lewa: Navi?Surge: What? I’m not any Navi. My name’s Surge and I’m a Hero from Makuhero city. I’m lost and--Lewa: If you aren’t Navi, why are you dressed like her?*Surge looks at him awkwardly, then at himself.*Surge: What?Lewa: And why were you speak-talking like her?Surge: I didn’t understand that.Lewa: Are you making fun of me?Surge: No, no, I’m just lost--*Lewa uses THE FORCE!! to summon his air saber, as well as his stolen shield from Iruini.*Lewa: Prepared to eat your words?*Lewa fires a blast of air at Surge, but he dodges and fires a shot of lightning at him. Nimble and quick, Lewa rolls out of the way. He then bashes Surge with his shield, leaps into the air, and performs a later he would later name “the helm splitter.”*Lewa: I’d better remember that if I need to show-teach that to my descendants.*As Surge recovered, a capsule fell from the sky. It contained a motion bomb sensor. Surge quickly threw it at Lewa, but he shield bashed it back, knocking it away. Lewa then jumped over the spot where it landed and managed to catch a falling capsule in midair, revealing it had a super scope. Lewa studied it as he landed a few feet away from Surge.*Surge: Need some help with that?*Lewa aimed and charged a shot at Surge.*Lewa: Nope. I’m good. *He fires his charged shot, narrowly missing Surge who ducked out of the way in time. Surge ran away from Lewa as he fired again, accidentally stepping on the sensor the placed earlier, blasting him back a few feet.*Surge: I’m getting out of here. *Attempting to use Zibb’s invention again, he runs for his life, leaving behind another tear in the time-space fabric.*Lewa: You won’t quick-escape from me that easy!*Lewa runs after him afterwards, the both of them ending up in another part of Lewa’s universe…*Gali: What are you talking about, Tahu?Tahu: Tell me why it is Krika and Antroz are so interested in you?Gali: Well, maybe if Kopaka were here… *blushes*Tahu, deviously: Well, he’s not here… not anymore…*Flashback…**A sick Kopaka bangs on Tahu’s door.*Kopaka: Tahu! Open up! All the other doctors are all out to lunch so you’re unfortunately my last choice! Come on!Tahu, from inside: Just a minute!*Tahu, from inside his house, looks outside and sees Kopaka. Suspicious that Kopaka has a crush on Gali, he devises a plan.*Tahu: Moon prism power.*In a brilliant flash, Tahu goes into a transformation.*Tahu: It’s me, Dr. Tahu. Come in, Kopaka.*He lets Kopaka inside, who sits down at his table.*Kopaka: You’d better know what you’re doing.Tahu: Don’t worry, I’m a doctor. *Tahu takes a bottle and puts in some sleep powder.* Here, drink this.Kopaka: Thanks… I think. *Kopaka takes a drink and in 2 seconds, he is out like a light.*Tahu, devious laugh: Nighty night, Kopaka. Now Gali is mine!*After that, Tahu leaves Kopaka with Pohatu.*Tahu: Pohatu, old friend!Pohatu: What do you want?Tahu: Nothing, can’t two friends just sit down and shoot the breeze?Pohatu: What did you do?Tahu: Kopaka’s trying to move in on Gali, as are Krika and Antroz, so I’ve put Kopaka to sleep and I need to leave him here for about a week before he wakes up again.*Pohatu: Fine, I’ll help you this time, but I really wish you wouldn’t be involved in so many wacky shenanigans. I can see why Onua gets nervous any time you mention a plan.Onua: Because they all end up in disaster, that’s why.*End Flashback.*Gali: I miss Kopaka… and I still wonder what happened to Lewa.Tahu: They’re not important right now.*Moment he says that, Surge breaks through the wall. Like the Kool-aid man.*Surge: Oh, no!Lewa: Oh, yeah!Gali: What’s going on here?!Tahu: Who are you? And why are you here, Lewa??Lewa: Fast-chasing this blue guy for insulting me!Tahu: You’re still upset that Navi’s gone, aren’t you?Lewa: Why did she leave me?!Surge: As much as I’d like to listen to you both, I’ve gotta run!*Surge then hops down a warp pipe.*Tahu: Hey! That’s mine!*Lewa dashes past Tahu and hops down the warp pipe. Tahu does the same, leaving Gali confused. The three of them pop out of the warp pipe on a battle field where capsules fall from the sky.*Surge: Later! *Surge runs again, this time using Zibb’s invention at minimum power (apparently Surge was learning how to use it).*Tahu: Come back here!*Tahu gives chase and picks up a capsule that contains a beam sword.*Tahu: This’ll do fine. *He resumes running after Surge while Lewa runs the other way in an attempt to trap Surge. Lewa takes a capsule, which contains a homerun bat.**Surge runs up to a higher place, with Tahu climbing up after him. Surge tries to run, but is shocked to see Lewa right there in front of him.*Lewa: You’re caught-trapped…Tahu: And there’s no place to run.*Before either Toa could strike, a pokeball lands in front of Surge, and a Pikachu comes out of it.*Pikachu: Pikachu!Tahu: What is this?*Without warning, the Pikachu jumps up and hugs Tahu’s face. It then proceeds to use thunderbolt, giving Tahu quite a shock. As Tahu yells in pain, Surge and Lewa rush to pull the Pikachu off his face. After that, the Pikachu returns to the pokeball, and the pokeball returns to the owner, who is a masked person in a hood… like some sort of Amon wannabe.*Masked person: You have done well to make it this far, heroes. Let’s see how you fair against the likes of me.*Surge and Tahu fire at the mystery person, but they are very nimble and quick in dodging every attack until Surge is left face to face with them. The attacker gets behind Surge and places a hand on his forehead.*Surge: No! Leave me alone!*Before the attacker could do anything, Surge is somehow pulled back to his own universe.*Zibb: It’s a good thing I implemented a failsafe in my invention.Surge: Well, it’s a good thing you did. I was fighting these Toa guys and this crazy masked weirdo.Furno: I think you’ve had enough action for one day. I think your core needs a good recharge.Surge: But I’m not kidding, they were real!*Back with Tahu and Lewa, they were faced with their mysterious attacker who had their eyes set on them both.*Masked person: Toa Tahu and Toa Lewa… two great heroes. It’s a shame you’re about to meet your end.Tahu: You’re not going to take us down that easily!Lewa: Yeah! Plus I beat Antroz and Elitha! I’m sure I can beat you easy.Masked person: Oh, really? Let’s see you eat those words.*As Tahu charged in to slash, the attacker held out their hand, stopping him in his tracks and somehow draining his energy. Tahu then falls to his knees.*Lewa: My turn. *Lewa unleashes a few gusts of air, knocking the attacker back and saving Tahu. Knocking the attacker off guard, Tahu takes them in a lock while Lewa approaches.*Tahu: All right, let’s take care of this loon.Lewa: Wait a minute… I’ve watched this show. So that means that by unmasking this weird-freak…*Sadly Lewa, this isn’t Amon, so you’re thinking of the wrong person. By removing the mask, he reveals the face of some blond singer girl.*Tahu: What in the world??Lewa: Is this real?!Natalie Horler: *laughs* No, silly. Otherwise it’d be too bloody easy for you if it really was!*So the false singer removed the mask and wig, revealing a very different mask.*Antroz: Did you miss me?Tahu: Wait… how did you manage to dress up as some girl singer, let alone imitate her voice?Antroz: That’s not important now.Lewa: How can you be still-standing here?! I thought you died.Tahu: I know… Hey, Antroz, what’s your favorite smoothie?Antroz: I hate smoothies.Tahu: Ah-ha!Lewa: You’re a fake! The real Antroz loves smoothies!Antroz: Okay, fine, you caught me.*The false Antroz unmasks himself to reveal yet another mask… one that made Lewa drop to his knees.*Lewa: No… it can’t be you… you’re dead!Elitha, devilish laugh: So you thought. You didn’t defeat me on the moon, Lewa.Tahu: Wait a minute, that’s Elitha?Lewa: Not the night-nurse mask!Elitha: That’s right, Lewa. I never did forgive you however for trying to destroy me on the moon, so I naturally decided to return and get back at you.*Elitha breaks free from Tahu’s grip, shoving him off and then lowering her hood to reveal it was indeed her true mask.*Tahu: How was it you defeated her?Lewa: I drain-weakened her power in a one-on-one dance-off. After that, I used to Fierce Diety’s Mask to destroy her.Tahu: You wouldn’t happen to have that mask with you, right?Lewa: It was nuke-burned in the epic aftermath return to the planet’s surface.Tahu: It’s as if they didn’t want you to keep that mask. Darn.Elitha: *Insane, maniacal laughter* Yup, so you don’t have any hope in defeating me, you two.*Elitha turns into her spirit form and rushes to Tahu, quickly returning to physical form and placing her scissor scythe against his head.*Elitha: So, how should I go about it? Should you go first and then Lewa? Or maybe Lewa first so you can watch him perish before I make you suffer? Your call, handsome. What do you say?Tahu: I say you’re attractive but insane.Elitha: *giggles* Thank you. For that, maybe I might spare you. However, Lewa… you’re going to suffer now. I might not be able to cause instant death, but I can still make your last moments agonizing.Tahu: Why? Are you like Vanille in the idea that you have a 1% chance to cause instant death but can still cause massive damage if you fail?Elitha: Uh… yeah. Let’s go with that.*Elitha releases Tahu from her grasp and makes a leap to attack Lewa. Before she is able to do anything, she is suddenly frozen in her tracks.*Kopaka: You need to chill out.Tahu: Kopaka?! How are you…?Kopaka: That medicine you gave me did the trick. All I needed was to rest for a full week.Tahu: Oh… darn it.Kopaka: Good thing I arrived just in time, too. Looks like you were both done for.Lewa: Well, I was. Tahu was just hit-flirting with her, so she spared him.Kopaka: Huh. Well, whatever. So, what do we do with her?Tahu: I say we push her off a cliff.Lewa: I have another idea.*Much later on…*Tahu: Explain this to me again.Lewa: She will fly-soar all the way to the moon where she belongs and never bother me again.Kopaka: Well, the rocket is set for an automatic course for the moon.Tahu: Yeah, and she’s loaded inside. Care to do the honors?Lewa: You have no idea.*Lewa sets the rocket to launch and Elitha is sent all the way to the moon, never to be seen ever again. Or is she?*Tahu: So long, weirdo! Have fun at space camp!Lewa: Hope that’s the last we see of her.Kopaka: Why wouldn’t it be?Lewa: I don’t know. I have the feeling some strange-crazy guy who wears a helmet will get sent to space camp and stumble on her mask and mistake her as a spirit guide and take over Metru Nui in a large attack.Kopaka: That’s crazy talk.Tahu: Yeah. Besides, like that’ll ever happen. I was just joking about the space camp thing anyway. I don’t think such a thing even exists.Lewa: Hope you’re right…Narrator: The three Toa sit and watch as the rocket carrying one of their darkest fears soars all the way to the moon. The three of them and a Mark Surge experienced something they may never forget for the rest of their lives. It’s one world and they are all living in it. Even now as Elitha departs to the moon, little do they know there are bigger things in motion. Little does Lewa know that by dooming Elitha to a vacation to space camp, he has doomed future generations to a potential dark threat. Thus they will soon experience the might of the Zone Where Normal Things Don’t Happen Very Often.And I guess if you didn't understand what is happening, Elitha's mask ends up on the moon, and about 178 years after this all happens, a lunatic by the name of Zant gets sent to space camp for 1,000 hours as a punishment and he stumbles on Elitha's mask, appearing to him as a "spirit guide" and tries to convince him to take power. Inspired, Zant tries to, but is unsure how. Then he meets Antroz, who was banished to the Twilight realm and gives him power, helping Zant (and Elitha unknowingly) take power. So the big spoiler for Twilight Delinquent is that Elitha is going to be one of the main villains alongside Antroz and Zant. However, her role is somewhat limited as she's lost her physical form and is limited to her spirit form and the mask, which Zant goes to for advising.

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All right, time to write a "bonus chapter" to this story since I know some people might not fully get a lot of the connections to my old stuff, a lot of which is scattered through the old BZPower and preserved under any of my old usernames (one of which I took on after a dare/prank, so don't ask).I used to do these sort of bonus chapters at the end of my old comedies in case people asked me questions and I did my best to answer them without going and saying "read such and such," since I know that is a hassle. Not to mention I've been at this since 2006, so yeah that goes without saying. I treat these bonus parts as a small FAQ so to say, so at least readers can have something at the end to maybe answer a few of their questions. Since no one has asked me anything, I'm going to go with what I think might confuse readers the most and maybe add on to it after if anyone does ask me anything. Let's begin.What series does this take place in?

  • It is a spiritual sequel to my comedies The Dimwit of Time and The Moron's Mask, which are actually spoofs of the Legend of Zelda games Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask respectively. There are three in the series so far, the before mentioned ones being the only completed ones. There's a Twilight Princess one called Twilight Delinquent that is ongoing, and this comedy is meant to foreshadow it. So for those who read this before Twilight Delinquent will know one of the most-kept secrets to the story.

Why is Surge in this?

  • That's mainly because I wanted to experiment with the characters. They do appear in The Dimwit of Time and The Moron's Mask briefly, but they are never really expanded on. Plus I'd always wanted to do a cross-over between Bionicle and Hero Factory, so I thought of this idea of "what if somehow one of the Heroes could travel through dimensions and not with a Kanohi Olmak?"

What is going on?

  • Elitha, in an attempt to get revenge on Lewa, is making things go out of control by using the powers of the Kanohi Elitha to manipulate everything going on around them. She could even be the one who managed to direct Surge towards their universe, just for fun. She wanted to lure Lewa into a trap and she also wanted to see him, Surge, and Tahu kind of battle. After a while, she got bored and jumped into the fray herself.

Who is Elitha?

  • Elitha is an Av-Matoran who was turned into a "dark Toa" kind of being by a mask she created, the Mask of Death. The Happy Mask Salesman in TMM says she is a spirit of the mask, imprisoned in it, but that is false, because she has somewhat tricked everyone into thinking that as to hide her true identity. In TMM, the Happy Mask Salesman gets the mask, somewhat aware of what it is. Elitha can turn into her spirit form and hide in the mask, thus that is why he thinks she is a spirit in the mask.
  • After doing so, he is ambushed by the demented puppet Remote, who takes the mask for himself and then becomes a puppet in Elitha's plan to crash the moon into Alma Nui. Lewa, with the help of Tatl and the four giants, stop Remote, but then Elitha reveals who she is and takes control of the moon. Lewa goes to stop her, where they first fight the spirits of the bosses from the temples. Then they go off in a one-on-one dance contest, which Elitha loses unable to keep up with Lewa. Finally, Elitha powers herself up, but because she's still unable to access the mask's full power due to having been a Matoran and due to the power of the mask, Lewa is able to defeat her, temporarily interrupting her. The Happy Mask Salesman then takes the mask and returns "to [his] home planet."
  • In truth, Elitha was just weakened and she had to wait to regain her strength. When she did, she returned to see revenge on Lewa with a new stronger form. When that failed, Tahu, Kopaka, and Lewa resolved to send her back to the moon, not knowing it would eventually cause great trouble down the line.
  • Elitha is somewhat inspired by a singer by the name of Natalie. A song she sings is what inspired me to make Elitha go from a genderless entity to what she is now. Some of her mannerisms are also inspired by the singer as well. As a reference to said singer, Elitha disguises herself as her before revealing who she is.
  • Elitha isn't truly evil, she's just misguided. She's also a bit insane and out of control with power. As inspired by a song, Elitha is just a confused misguided young girl who just had power to to her head.

What does this foreshadow to?

  • This is a big spoiler for Twilight Delinquent, so in actuality those who are reading that story won't get to know this until much later. In that story, we have Midna and Zant, who are sort of good friends (Zant is actually insane and would put my version of Krika to shame). Midna's father, the king, names Midna as his heir. Zant gets outraged and for his outburst, the king sends him to space camp (the moon) for 1,000 hours (about 42 days). Zant starts to slowly lose his mind and that's when he meets Elitha, who he mistakes for his spirit guide. Elitha then convinces him that he needs to go back and convince the king he is really the rightful one to rule. She also tells him to do other things to change his lifestyle, one of which is to wear a mask/helmet and to alter his voice with helium. Zant then declares his spirit name as "Lord Helmet," and returns back with the Kanohi Elitha in hand.
  • Zant fails to convince everyone he's not crazy and desperately tries to find someone to console him. Elitha is unable to help him and urges him to not give up and to find someone who will support him. That's when Zant meets Antroz, who appears to him in the form of pure energy and after talking, Antroz eventually decides to give him power to take over the Twilight Realm so that in turn, Antroz can take over Metru Nui. Zant happily obeys Antroz's orders and the Twilight Realm became his while Antroz had his physical form restored and he was able to return to Metru Nui.
  • Elitha continues to advise Zant, parallel to Antroz, in order to make sure nothing goes wrong. Eventually, Lewa makes his way to the Palace of Twilight to confront Zant, where he and Midna see how insane he's truly become. When Zant goes utterly insane, Elitha appears to Lewa (who is a descendent of the Lewa who originally met her 178 years prior) and frightens him to catch him off guard.

What is The Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often?

  • A running joke in my stories is that they all take place in this area, which is a spoof of the Twilight Zone. In TD, Lewa actually goes to this place (officially) to fight Zant (or at least, he will, because I haven't gotten that far yet in the story). As the name implies, normal things don't happen very often and in turn, only strange and outrageous things occur, such as Elitha being sent to space camp (the moon) and surviving or Elitha returning in such a strange way, or even Surge's somewhat random appearance through time and space.

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So here’s the review.Alright, so first of all I suggest you take the advice I gave you in our profile feed conversation. Skimming ahead to get to the actual story…Chapter 1:

He would be heading off with a first class ticket to The Zone Where Normal Things Don’t Happen Very Often.
Nothing normal happens in a comedy; otherwise it wouldn’t be shocking. Laughter is a reaction to a surprise, and surprises are the opposite of normalcy. As such, there’s no need to justify it with this kind of statement.
*Surge takes both of them and attaches them to his feet. He pretends to job in place.*
Should be “*Surge takes both of them and attaches them to his feet. He pretends to jog in place.* Although how someone can pretend to jog in place without actually doing it is beyond me.
*Surge then stomps his foot down, triggering Zibb’s unnamed invention and making his foot vibrate. This chain affect makes his other foot vibrate until he is forcibly made to run forward until he rips the fabric of time and space, disappearing.*
I’d encourage you to avoid this plot device, as it is a bit cliché. (all those time and space travel and destruction of time and space…)I do like the characterization of Zibb in this scene – I could clearly imagine him saying that.* * *
*…He then bashes Surge with his shield, leaps into the air, and performs a later he would later name “the helm splitter.”*
Should be: “*…He then bashes Surge with his shield, leaps into the air, and performs a move he would later name “the helm splitter.”* Do we really need to know what he would later name the move? I guess it’s important for the references to your other comedies, but I wouldn’t know…
Kopaka: That medicine you gave me did the trick. All I needed was to rest for a full week.
:???: Has a week passed since Tahu gave Kopaka the drugs?Okay, so the best thing for you is to watch the confusing stuff. I know it’s mostly refrences to your old comedies, but from the “bonus chapter” you just gave, I’m more confused than ever.So Surge goes into a Bionicle pocket dimension using Zibb’s weird invention and battles Lewa. We then dive into a scene where Tahu is envious of Gali and attacks Kopaka with sleeping powder. Then all three beings end up facing a masked being; Surge leaves because of a failsafe in Zibb’s invention. Kopaka freezes Elitha, who is the masked being, and Lewa blasts her back to the moon using a rocket. This is what I understand of this story.There are a lot of references to things I don’t get, which makes the whole thing more frustrating than funny. Also, lots of random things happen that seem to have no real purpose for existing and have zero rationale for happening, like the random appearance of the capsule-scope and Picachu, to name a couple. You’re mostly riding on references to other comedies of yours and other things, not any really great plot structure that I can see.I did like this section, though:
Lewa: I don’t know. I have the feeling some strange-crazy guy who wears a helmet will get sent to space camp and stumble on her mask and mistake her as a spirit guide and take over Metru Nui in a large attack.
Jinx. Edited by fishers64
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Thank you... at least now I know what to do now.I thought of posting up the before mentioned stories of The Dimwit of Time (which I currently am) and The Moron's Mask to see if people would like them. Now, however, after reading this review, I can see that my writing is no longer meant to be on here.So after Chapter 14 of The Dimwit of Time is posted, I will no longer write my random and inane stories here. I'll just be a regular member posting and commenting in various topics and perhaps making topics for MOCs, otherwise I guess I'm sure I'm doing the right thing.

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