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The Basic Idea Of…The Hunger GamesWarning: Do not read unless you have read the book or watched the movie.One day in the future, there lived a girl called Katlisp Neverseen.Kantkiss: It’s Kantkiss Neverclean, you stupid.Whatever. Shut up. Anyway, she lived in a very dusty place that mined Coca Cola.District 12 spokesperson: It’s coal.You don’t say. You don’t drink hot Coca Cola, that’s barbaric!District 12 spokesperson: I meant it as in c-o-a-l.Not cold Coca Cola?District 12 spokesperson: No.Well, anyway, that place was known as District 12. Kantkiss lived in a hut near some market called the Knob.Knob Market Person: Door knobs for sale!Kantkiss also lived with her sister, Primjob, her constantly depressed mother, a nanny goat, and a very evil cat called Buttercup, which had watched too much of the Alien franchise.Kantkiss: Get this cat off my face!Kantkiss’s mother: Sigh.Primjob: Come on Buttercup! Come down!Kantkiss’s mother: Moan.Buttercup: HISSSS!Kantkiss mother: Groan.There were 12 districts in all and were rule by this bunch of candy-colored people-Candy people of the Capitol: AAARGH! ANTS! AAAAAAAH!-in a place called the Capitol. Collectively, the districts and the Capitol were known as the nation of Panem-Juneval: Et Circenses!Shut up. There was once a thirteenth district too. But it got blown up in a civil war.People of District 13: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-KAPLOWEY!And every year, as punishment, this President Snowman decided to get two kids from each district to go and fight in an arena, called….

THE HUNGER GAMES

President Snowman: Thy Districts shalt send a pair of chosen children in thy lotto to thy Capitol and there thy children shalt fight to thy death to win honour, luxury, fame and food! Thy event shalt be annual and thy shalt be known as thy HUNGER GAMES!And the lotto was called the Reaping. How apt. So then one the 74th reaping, Primjob was called to go the the arena! *Play dramatic music here*And Kantkiss was like:Kantkiss: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!And then she said:Kantkiss: I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!WOW! SO BRAVE! Then this guy called Piper, was selected. Piper: It’s Peeta!Shut up Piper. No one actually cared about him until in the arena. Then later, Midget, Kantkiss’s Friend, gave Kantkiss her mockingperson pin. This was to ensure that Kantkiss won by learning to mock everyone. Then they (Kantkiss and Piper, without Midget) went to the Capitol on a flying train.Flying Train: I think I can fly. I think I can fly.And then they met this guy who was like:Heyrich Avermony: I’m an alcoholic…….And then this lady was like:Ewie Poorpeople: THAT IS MAHOGANY YOU BARBARIANS!After many things happened later, Kantkiss and Piper went into the arena and fought for a bit. Many people died. And Kantkiss met this girl called Run Babyrun. Run helped Kantkiss to throw bees. At people. Especially at their eyes.Some victim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BEES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!SPLOSH!Glugugugugug!But then Run died, and so did some other people.And later in a cave:Piper: I LOVE YOU SO HIDEOUSLY KANTKISS!Kantkiss: Whatever.And she went and mocked this little psychopathic girl who had an obsession with knives. But then this guy, Bash, who was a friend of Run appeared and was like:Bash: WHY DID YOU KILL HER? OH, WHY! WHY?And so the psychopathic girl got maced.And later some wolves which have been mutated came, so Kantkiss and Piper sat on a big horn and were like:Kantkiss and Piper: Ner-ner-de-ner-ner you can’t get us!Very mature of them, I know. So they won the games, but these guys called the Gamemakers, who were a bunch of sore losers were like:Gamemaker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOOOOOOOOOUUUUU! CAAAAAAANNNNNOOOOOOTT! WIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!So Kantkiss said:Kantkiss: Fake eating these poisonous blueberries!And Piper said:Piper: Do you know I love you so hideously?And then they won the games and went home on the flying train. And President Snowman was like:President Snowman: GRRRRRRAAAAAAH!

The End!

Yes, I know, very random, but this is a parody. Like it?

"Wer Traumt?"

 

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:kaukau: I haven't read the book or seen the movie. Found them boring and I couldn't stand the writing. So I've survived by enduring all the parodies that are more entertaining. How mean of me. Anyway, I thought I'd say that I appreciate the random effort, and even though the humor wasn't genius it was fast enough to keep me reading without trying. My favorite part was actually the witty way you corrected yourself when you said "they (Kantkiss and Piper, without Midget)". I guess it was sort of a Monty Python moment (even though I dislike comparing things to them by default).Merida
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