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Desertion


Kohila

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80,000 Years Prior to the Battle of Bara Magna...

 

A shimmer of light; a flicker of life. A pair of emerald eyes lit up at the break of dawn on a central region of the Southern Continent. The same pair of eyes scanned their surroundings, observing for any indication of danger. The eyes blinked, the being whom they belonged to sat up and stretched his muscles. His name was Axonn, member of the secretive Order of Mata Nui and an assigned protector of the Mask of Life.

 

Axonn turned toward one of the walls of his dwelling. A few miscellaneous daggers, swords, and shields decorated the wall. But the most glorious of them all was a large axe crafted of Protosteel, sharpened by the limbs and appendages of all who opposed the one who wielded it. Axonn stood and instinctively reached for it and clambered out of the makeshift home that he had been living in for about two-thousand years. His crimson and silver armor glimmered in the light of the many lightstones whose intensity grew every minute.

 

His head jolted to his left; he heard something. Axonn crouched, his senses on edge. Out of the shrubbery, a tall and limber being adorned in navy and golden armor appeared. He glared at Axonn, and let out a low chuckle.

 

"We're guardians of the Ignika, and yet you still think that every little sound is someone trying to take over your conquered territory. Ease up, Axonn."

 

Axonn stood up and gave his partner a fist-bump. "Brutaka, our mission isn't to be taken lightly. What we guard could mean the death of everyone and everything."

 

"Of course, but only a handful of people know it exists. Most of the stories are written off as a myth, or a fairytale. In fact, I don't know if anyone outside of the Order knows of it."

 

Axonn sighed and looked Brutaka in his deep-orange eyes. "Just be careful; this is our assignment. Don't screw it up," he joked, playfully punching Brutaka in the arm. "Now, go and get some fish while I prepare a fire."

 

A grin spread across Brutaka's Kanohi. "How big?"

 

"How big what?" Axonn asked.

 

"How big would you like the fish to be?"

 

Axonn's expression went from questionable to serious. "I know what you're going to do; don't do it. How you managed to get that Olmak is beyond me."

 

Brutaka sat in front of the entrance of Axonn's dwelling. "This Kanohi's history is questionable, to say the least and horrifying, at best."

 

Axonn sat next to his friend, drawing in the dirt to entertain himself. "Come to think of it, Brutaka, I never knew you to wear another Kanohi prior to joining the Order... How exactly did one of the most powerful masks in the Universe find its way to your face?"

 

Brutaka's smile faded. "Axonn, would you like to hear of the realm of Fironia?"

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Kohilå:

 

This is certainly a good place to start, though there are clearly a few things that could make it better:

First, Voya Nui is at the center of the
Southern
Continent,
not
the Northern.
;)

 

Second, there are a few punctuation errors, and even some problems with spelling, but those are easy to fix and nothing major.
:rolleyes:

 

And third, to emphasize a specific word in a quote, it's best to use
italics
,
not
boldface type.
:P

All that aside, I'm please to see that this story is progressing, and eager to read it once released. :happydance:

 

Until then.

~
Åusår

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