Entry posted by Jean Valjean
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There was only one person on the ballot in my regional election. Understandably, he won his reelection bid. I told him that maybe he needs a challenger next time, so I'll put some thought into running against him. And just to make the ballot form really fun, I'll legally change my name to Alexandria Santa-Ana-Pinta-Nina-Maria-Quintanilla-Poco-Loco-en-el-Coco-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Pinocchio-Picasso-Ocasio-Cortez. And require that that whole thing be printed on the ballot paper. Because I am a humble man, I will not demand that people follow that up with my full title, "Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and Loyal Servant to the True Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, Father of a Murdered Son, Husband of a Murdered Wife."
With that having been said, if you truly want to flatter me, yes, you can call me by my full identity. And it is often expected on more formal occasions. Alexandria Santa-Ana-Pinta-Nina-Maria-Quintanilla-Poco-Loco-en-el-Coco-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Pinocchio-Picasso-Ocasio-Cortez, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and Loyal Servant to the True Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, Father of a Murdered Son, Husband of a Murdered Wife.
That's a ways off. In the meantime, I have made myself a name tag, and I nag my coworkers whenever they don't call me by my full name. It's unprofessional to go by a nickname; one must use his full name when in business. It makes a strong impression.
This name is not to be confused with Alexandria Santa-Ana-Pinta-Nina-Maria-Quintanilla-Poco-Loco-en-el-Coco-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Buffalo-Pinocchio-Picasso-Ocasio-Cortez II. Though she is of relation to me, she is still a separate person altogether. She also does not share the same exact titles. Rather, Alexandria II's name is to be followed by the title "Most High Mother of the Quantum Sisterhood, Sister of the Brotherhood, Slayer of White Whales, Keeper of the Puzzles, Undying Aide to the Homeless, Mentor to Future Wisemen, Right Honorable Healer of Abandoned Lowly Ones, Loyal Council to the True Universal Communion of Saints."
I will keep this name until I find amusement in some other name, like Everybody Q. Nobody. That way, when someone says that "Everybody's talking about it," or, "Nobody's talking about it," so long as I'm talking a bout it, they're literally right.
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