I think I have a new theme. When I feel up to it, I'll put a little link to a totally awesome BZP-appropriate song at the beginning of my entry with which you can serinade the entry. Most everything I put up will be found via Dogpile's Audio Search.

 

So anyway, for a starter, here is Flight of the Thunderbird.

 

The background for this little ditty goes back to 7th Grade. At that time, our little band was under the direction of a brilliant man named Mr. Kelly. While 7th Grade bands are usually aimed to simply improve from the loathed 6th Grade bands (shudder), our band went above and beyond. I'm not one to usually gloat about my own band, but 7th Grade was pretty awesome. For my fellow band geeks, I'm going to detail each section to you. For my unfellow not-band-geeks...well...you might want to wait for my next entry, because this will probably bore you.

 

Trumpets: THE most nefarious section of ANY Junior High Band. There are so many reasons that Trumpets tend to sound bad. One, in 7th Grade Band, there is no auditioning for a higher or lower band. Two, Trumpet is the instrument a majority of kids take up when their parents force them to play an instrument (besides clarinet). And third, there's a freakin' LOT of 'em. We had a total of fourteen trumpets, about six of which were actually dedicated to the band and the music.

 

Now, being the largest section, there are a few things bound to come up. Trumpets are ALWAYS...

• The loudest
• The blattiest
• The most out-of-tune (save Low Brass)
• The worst-sounding section

This is no offense to any trumpets, as I am only observing my own band, and it isn't totally their fault. There were some golden trumpets in that group. But there were a lot of burlap trumpets too. This group didn't suffer from talent, it suffered from a lack of work ethic. A great amount of trumpets never practiced or ever put forth any effort at all.

 

Suffice to say, only the gold nuggets made it to the Symphonic Band next year and outplayed the 9th Graders by chairs.

 

 

Trombones: Put a big instrument with a slide in a 4th Grader's hand, tell him to blow, and move the slide up and down randomly. That is your average 7th Grade Trombone in the 2005-2006 7th Grade Band. Honestly, a good deal of these people were not the kind of people you want to be put on such a specific instrument. The trombones were of about eight, and only two or three made the sound.

 

Our trombone section was unique in that instead of us always telling them to back off (like the Trumpets), we always had to tell them to play out. We had a remarkable first chair who could belt like nobody's business, and he was the trombone section in and of himself. Tell the section to play, then tell Mitch to play, and you don't get a whole lot of difference. He reigned over the Trombones, and not surprisingly, he was the only one that advanced into Symphonic Band.

 

I'm happy to say that everyone in that group improved drastically. People who were pulling their slides out could articulate a scale and play through a piece fairly well. Still, improvement is a gradual thing, and if you aren't there, then you just aren't there yet.

 

 

Tubas: There's very little that I can say about them because there were only two and you could never hear them. Tubas are hard enough to hear when they have their notes down, but our Tubas had the chronic problem of not knowing your fingerings. Really, this was a lost section, and it might've been a good thing that nobody ever heard them. Still, one's in Symphonic Band, and he's getting much, much better now.

 

And for those of you that scorn Tubas, try to play a scale on one of those things. That's a lot of tube for one breath.

 

 

Baritones: Now if there was any section that was on top of their game, it was the Euphoniums. Two players, two, and they powered the Low Brass. And they could cover for each other. If one was gone, you hardly even noticed. These two were the ultimate rivals as far as chairs go, and it was always the question of the week who would come out on top. Really, these people have got good hope for a career (or at least a profitable hobby) if they keep it up.

 

 

French Horns: It's so hard to stay objective about your own section. I'd love to tell you that we were the most amazing horns you've heard since Dennis Braun, but that would be untrue. Truth is, at the beginning of the year, we were all pretty horrible. Like most horn sections I hear, we faced some of the common horn problems:

• You could never hear us in full band
• Problem with close notes
• High notes

 

Needless to say, we were pretty bad. Then my friend Ian and I discovered something called 'breathing'. This changed our whole way of playing. Finally, Mr. Kelly was telling us to tone it down instead of bring it out. Unfortunately, the three other horns never fully discovered this technique (though the one that is still playing certainly is getting there). I'm happy to say that the Horns were one of the more appreciated sections of the 7th Grade (particularly on the song you are/were/didn't bother listening to) and Mr. Kelly loved us.

 

In 8th Grade, Ian and I advanced. The third chair converted to Percussion, the fourth chair moved on to be the first chair of the Concert Band, and the fifth chair decided to use Choir as her fine arts requirement instead. We still have a killer Horn section, though, and I can say that with no guilt.

 

 

Percussion: The remarkable thing about this percussion section is that, at the beginning of the year, only two of them could actually count. This is actually a pretty chronic problem among 7th Grade Bands. Of course, they knew their quarters and their half notes and their eighths, but get into sixteenths and you're in a whole new world. I have a good deal of appreciation and pity for percussionists, who have to drill themselves on rhythm day in and day out. If I get a rhythm wrong, but still play the right notes, it still sounds fairly decent. You can't really do that in Percussion.

 

We had some amazing snare drum players, some sturdy bass drum players, and some good bell players. The real problem was the Timpani. You couldn't get the thing loud enough. And when you're playing something like Duel of the Fates, you really need that thing to boom.

 

Overall, they definitely got drilled their 7th Grade year, and those who deserved it got into Symphonic Band. And we love 'em for it.

 

 

Saxaphones: This, without any doubt whatsoever, was the best woodwind section, and possibly the best section in the whole band. They knew their stuff. Rhythms, down, notes, down, everything. The last chair was insanely good, and the other two were constantly battling over first. There isn't much I can say about this group except that Symphonic Band wouldn't be the same without them.

 

 

Clarinets: Oi. Much like trumpets, this was the biggest group and the most hazardous. Clarinets have a great potential to not get their notes right. We did have some great players in there, but we also had some not-so-great. Unfortunately, I can't exactly say that they improved very much because only those who had been good at the beginning of the year went onto Symphonic Band while the others either dropped out or went to Concert Band (where, actually, a few of them are starting to sound really good).

 

 

Oboe: I'm sorry, but I have this thing against oboes. Nothing against oboe players, I have the utmost respect for you picking such a difficult instrument, but I can't stand the sound of those things. The reason why? I'm used to hearing Junior High Oboe. The definition of a Junior High oboe (here, anyway) is most commonly "out-of-tune". This guy knew his notes and his rhythms, but he was out-of-tune.

 

And I can't say I care all too much for the sound of the things at any length. That's just my opinion there, so feel free to hit me in the face with an Italian Pie if you want.

 

 

Bassoon: This guy has the loudest foot tap you will ever hear in your entire life. He wears sandals that are amazingly thick and make such a noise on the floor of a band room that you wouldn't believe. Unfortunately, for someone with such a monstrous foot tap, he has trouble with rhythm. He knows his notes and is good at fingerings, but rhythms are confusing to him, and he's actually capable of throwing off a whole woodwind section when he's tapping out of rhythm.

 

He's in Symphonic Band and he's much better now, but he's still got that Godzilla foot tap.

 

 

Flutes: Well, flutes are a lot like trumpets. There are some extremely amazing and gifted people...and then the rest are kind of bleh. The flutes were a good section last year, but it took a lot of hard work to get them there. And I'm not surprised, flute is hard. It takes twice as much air, it has a difficult mouthpiece, and there's a lot of fingerings. We were lucky in the fact that our flutes weren't overly dominant, but weren't background noise either. We had a good, strong flute section.

 

Our Symphonic Band flute section is amazing, hands down, and the others that are still doing it are probably the most amazing section if Concert Band. So rock on, flutists.

 

 

Bass Clarinets: I could never hear these guys, I'm afraid. They're rocking this year, but I just couldn't hear them in 7th Grade.

 

 

 

So yeah, that's just an overview of my band. I know, you're probably thinking "Why'd he have to tell us all that?!" Well...it's a blog. And I'm trying to get this thing active again, so you might have to wade through some entries like this. Sorry.

 

Band Geeks forever.

 

Dr. B