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Phovos' (Stolen) Diaries

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#1 Offline Phovos

  • Members
  • Nuhvok-Kal Collapsed

  • 07-September 07
  • 4,309 posts

Posted Oct 26 2011 - 08:56 AM

Hello peeps! I've decided, because I love you all so much, despite not knowing who any of you are, to write up a few new chapters of Phovos' (Stolen) Diaries. Just for laughs, right? Wrong. I have enough gossip here to bring down the Brotherhood of the Makuta... What? They've already been dealt with? Seriously? Where was I? Oh yeah, I was trapped in a parallel universe. Okay... I have enough information here to tear the Skrall a new hole... Huh? You're kidding me... Oh whatever. Let's just say that I have a lot of amusing stuff here, pan-dimensional stuff too, and I'm kind enough to share it with you. For those of you who don't remember, I have a... Fetish... For stealing other people's diaries. And since I briefly visited that Team Fortress 2 Universe, I now have an invisibility watch, which makes my life so much easier. I mean, I can teleport and all sorts, I can adapt to any environment, but I can't turn invisible... Give me time, I'll work it out one day... As I was saying, I use my abilities to steal diaries. I don't care who's diary it is, as long as it's got stuff I can use for black ma... Nah, I'm kidding. But as long as it amuses you, I'm happy. Starting off this new series, if I can be bothered to make it into a series, is this clipping from some Toa called Tuyet. Now, if any of you remember, I used to claim I was in fact Toa Nidhiki, but that was all a lie. Nah, I'm just some gal made from bits and pieces that Tahnok-Kal found while suffering from depression...

It has been a busy couple of weeks, but today just bites the kanoka disc! After having to fight a messed up Helryx (Seriously, what a stupid name) and a bunch of other people, we're all suddenly in space. Along with the most annoying person ever. I thought the most annoying person was that Vezon. Turned out that the mantle of Who Is The Most Annoying is shared with bloody Lewa Nuva. HE WILL NOT SHUT UP!

I find it rather amusing that Lewa also commented on this...

You know what? I thought that Skakdi were annoying. I thought Vahki were annoying. I thought that the talking Bohrok me and Kopaka encountered on Voya Nui was annoying. BUT BLOODY MATA NUI ARE THOSE TWO WOMEN ANNOYING! I swear, all Tuyet and Helryx have done is argue since we got stuck up here. I would honestly rather be fighting Rahhshi than be stuck up here... Actually, I'd rather have been a Toa of any other element apart from air so that we would all suffocate and wouldn't have to listen to them.

That's rather cruel, but it's understandable.

IT'S NOT FAIR. IT IS NOT FAIR. WHY OH WHY OH WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? I was FINE as a Toa Nuva. I was strong, gorgeous and powerful. Now I'm ugly and lacking in articulation. Seriously? Mata Nui? Why? Why couldn't I be a Toa Nuva and wear that golden armor? I'm sure it would have fitted me! Bah.

All Tahu has done is complain that he's a Toa Mata again. But I think he looks cuter than he thinks...

Ahah! Tahu's ego has finally been beaten! His shrinking in size means that he no longer has the will to argue with me. I do not mind that he still leads, but now... Now we'll see...

I'm not sure who's diary that last one was... It's mostly soggy and covered in claw marks. The last entry in it says...

I appear to have turned into a Toa Hordika... Now to resist not eating this diary...

Poor guy. Moving on.

CAKE! Whoever invented this delicious and most exquisite thing was a genius and should become a holy person...

Hang on... That's Lehvak's diary... When did he get a cake recipe? And how?

The trouble is, it's hard to get the ingredients now I'm back home. Well, I say home, I mean Spherus Magna. Not quite the same as my old nest... If I hadn't met that wonderful human, I would have never known that cake existed!

The cake is a lie. Most beings here have no sense of taste... I wonder why us Bohrok have a sense of taste? And apparently Rahkshi do too, but I don't have the courage to go up to one and ask...

So, today, this Bohrok walked up to me. I've seen loads of Bohrok lately since they lost their nest, but this one was going on about this Kayke thing. Bloody insane, it was. Even worse, it was one of those few remaining Kal, which means it was trying to speak to me. Poor things. Someone ought to put them in a giant hole and let them get on with it.

*mumble* Oh hey, I found it! The best diary of them all...

Dag nabbit! I used to share with bloody Pohatu. Now I share with bloody Lewa! I don't know what's worse, me being too tight to buy my own diary, or sharing with Lewa!

Anyway, enough of me for now. I'll hopefully post more diaries soon... If I can be bothered or if I remember, that is. Bye!


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