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OUR FINAL JUDGEMENT

toa new atero salvation marendar batterra

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#1 Offline Sil

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Posted Aug 03 2014 - 01:47 PM

This is my first piece of BIONICLE fan fic so constructive criticism is welcome on the review topic: http://www.bzpower.c...t-review-topic/

 

 

PROLOGUE

From where Toa Zevvar stood in the small Parauri forest to the north of the vast Bota Magna region, he could just make out the city of New Atero, like a vivid beacon of light in the pitch-black ocean of the night. The city was beautiful, not just physically but also in its very concept; it represented the fact that unity could overcome any obstacle – Zevvar realised that he was being a little sentimental, but he liked the idea just the same. Taking one last look at the golden metropolis, he turned his head and continued his patrol of the night-time woodland.

“Patrol” was hardly the word for it – although he was technically making the rounds of the forest to guard the city from what Turaga Onua would call “Spirits of Destruction”, this was his favourite terrain (despite him not being a toa of Air or “The Green”) and he was thoroughly enjoying himself. When the city’s world went to sleep, another one was just waking up and having late night breakfast: the nocturnal voices of hundreds of thousands of rahi and creatures chirruped, growled, buzzed and squawked their way into life.

It was not like there was even much of a threat anymore: the Rock tribe had been disbanded and most of its open-minded former-members had been welcomed into other tribes. The Bone-Hunters became part of the Union and abandoned their nomadic ways, still violent but in a more…lawful way if at all possible. The Dark Hunter organization had gone into hiding; at least until things cleared up a bit (recent history had taken its toll and the aftermath would last for a while longer) but they would no doubt soon be selling their services of assassination and theft to the new civilisation.

Zevvar’s train of thought was derailed by a sudden loud humming that filled the night air for a few seconds followed by a sound like fog horn and an intense burst of white light from the west of the forest, causing a huge flock of Ekera birds to fly squawking from their perch above the origin of the sound. The toa was just wondering what on Spherus could have made the noise when another blast of deafening sonics was unleashed, this time nearer. This was followed by a metallic voice declaring a string of incomprehensible jargon and a scream which was then cut off.
Silence filled the forest.

The Fe-Toa was struck by panic; on the whole, he had only two options: he could travel back to the city (which would take the best part of an hour) and get help from the toa there, by which time the thing or person making the noise might have killed more people (if that’s what it was doing – by the sound of that scream, this seemed to be the most likely occurrence) or his other option was to stay here and try to fight the thing himself before more people were killed (of course this option also had the possibility of him getting killed).

Surely nothing in these woods was something a toa couldn’t handle? Surely?
But Zevvar knew that the turaga had never expected something that one toa couldn’t handle, which was why he was here alone. Maybe…maybe it would be best for everyone if he went back to call for reinforcements…best for you, you mean, said his conscience. After all, he thought, I’m not exactly the heroic type…you’re a toa! The very word means hero! You cannot abandon your duty or you will never reach your destiny.

Luckily, Zevvar didn’t have to make a choice; as he turned, he came mask to face with what at first glance would be considered a mass of titanic trees but, the toa realised, trees that hadn’t been there a moment ago. With a grinding of cogs and hissing of pistons, as slowly as the death of worlds, the thing unfolded itself into the shape of a colossal mechanical giant, roughly glatorianesque in shape, but four times the height of any toa and twice as wide. An uncontrollable sense of dread and awe routed Zevvar to the spot as one baleful eye ignited with cold blue fire in what he presumed to be the being’s head.

His hands trembling, Zevvar tried to provoke his elemental power and reach out to the iron ore in the earth beneath the creature’s feet, but something pushed it back and contained it within his physical body.
“What are you?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.
In reply, the thing raised the pulsating, humming barrel of some of kind launcher until it was barely a meter away from Zevvar’s head. Then it said, in a voice as loud as thunder and as impassive and cold as steel:
“I AM SALVATION”

Then it fired.

 

Much more to come  :) 


Edited by Silo, Aug 03 2014 - 01:50 PM.

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"So who are you, exactly?"

"My name is... ah... Toa Vezon. I'm the Toa of... of... Anarchy." - Vezon

 

If you are interested in one of your characters holding a high ranking position in a Taajar clan of secretive assassin-ninja-bodyguards, PM me 


#2 Offline Sil

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Posted Aug 11 2014 - 02:36 PM

PART ONE

Roodaka sat in her cell in the Order base in the small village of Kainga near the city, although she hardly thought it qualified as even a village – she thought of it more as not a settlement with beings living in it  but instead, just another minor inconvenience on the rich tablet of life.

Surprisingly, even for her, she was reading, albeit a book of glatorian weaponry.

 

The glatorian…now that there was a whole new world, people somehow expected you to fit in and try your best to make peace with the inhabitants of Spherus – after all, you wouldn't want to appear specisist would you? – and even if you were convicted for over fifty murders, among other things, they seemed to want you to join in…

It seemed that beings nowadays followed the dying words of Mata-Nui with blind faith, striving to forge a new and stable society whatever the odds…it sickened her.
And they were doomed to fail, as well. Although life had been a lot simpler back in their old world, even then nations and species had fought for trivial reasons, and now that there were twice as many different factions…well it was bound to collapse…

 

All it neaded was one small attack, one small raid, and the Onu-Matoran would be blaming it on the Jungle Tribe and the Sun Tribe would be blaming it on the Skakdi and those Steltian brutes would be wondering who stole the big stick that they were holding a second ago and toa would be dashing around heroically, frantically attacking anything that moved…

 

Footsteps made the Vortixx look up from where she was sitting on a stool in the cell. Seeing who the walker was, she gasped, but then realizing that it was not in fact that being, recovered her composure quickly, as if nothing had happened.

 

“Ah, Panoni… you and your Mahiki…Order still using you well?”

 

She spat the words like venom, although her mouth was smiling as she apraised the green toa in front of her. Panoni was a being employed by the Order as a jailer among other things.

 

“Illusions never get old, eh?” but now there was a hint of doubt and even possibly…could it be fear, in her voice as she appraised the green being at the bars.
The image of the toa was just staring at her intently, with a look of hatred so intense, so deep in it’s eyes that it was frightening. She knew the figure well. But she had seen him like this only for a short while…the reason for this was what terrified Roodaka the most…but she didn’t show it.

 

“Just dropping by to see an old friend” The apparition spoke in calm tones but there was the malice of centuries focused and concentrated into the words.

 

Roodaka carefully put down the book and said quietly:

“So it really is you…”

 

“Indeed,” said the toa gravely, raising a protodermis scythe.

 

“I have said many times that I always repay a favour,” he said, compressing all the air in the cell block into a tight sphere of self-contained hurricain.

 

 

“And I am a being of my word,” concluded Toa Nidhiki, unleashing the sphere straight at Roodaka.

 

 

Although this seems completely unrelated to the previous chapter, everything will become apparent, I promise  :D 


Edited by Silo, Aug 11 2014 - 02:38 PM.

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PURPLE PURPLE PURPLE

My BZPRPG profiles: Silo Rekhyt Mortem Mura Karaihe Venemi

My Corpus Rahkshi profiles: Snake  Wraith Torch

My Deviantart page

"So who are you, exactly?"

"My name is... ah... Toa Vezon. I'm the Toa of... of... Anarchy." - Vezon

 

If you are interested in one of your characters holding a high ranking position in a Taajar clan of secretive assassin-ninja-bodyguards, PM me 


#3 Offline Sil

Sil
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Posted Aug 28 2014 - 10:42 AM

:( *STORY POSTPONED UNTIL A LATER DATE* :(


Edited by Silo, Aug 28 2014 - 10:42 AM.

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PURPLE PURPLE PURPLE

My BZPRPG profiles: Silo Rekhyt Mortem Mura Karaihe Venemi

My Corpus Rahkshi profiles: Snake  Wraith Torch

My Deviantart page

"So who are you, exactly?"

"My name is... ah... Toa Vezon. I'm the Toa of... of... Anarchy." - Vezon

 

If you are interested in one of your characters holding a high ranking position in a Taajar clan of secretive assassin-ninja-bodyguards, PM me 





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