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Spyder's Reaction To The Second Downtime

Parody

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#1 Offline spyder ryder

spyder ryder
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Posted Nov 15 2011 - 08:46 PM

Mutran walked over to the small, bizarre looking figure that sat in the corner. His face was wrapped in bandages. This was Spyder, a comedy writer who had smashed his face into his computer screen upon finding out that BZPower had once again taken the Forums offline. He had awoken only a short while ago after having his face and Kahnohi repaired from the damage caused by the broken screen and the electrocution.“Ah good,” said the Makuta, “You’re awake. Let’s see how we did.” Mutran began to unwrap the bandages. Spyder pulled himself away from him and began to impatiently tear them off. As his new face became visible, Mutran drew back in horror.“Mata Nui…” he breathed.“Mirror…” Spyder said as he held out a bandaged hand, “…MIRROR!” Mutran reluctantly handed him a small mirror. There was a moment of silence as Spyder looked at it.“Oh no…” he muttered emotionlessly. Mutran tried to speak reassuringly to him.“You understand that the nerves were completely severed, Mr. Ryder.” Suddenly Spyder erupted in a fit of crazed laughter.“Eh-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!” he snickered as he smashed the mirror on a nearby table. Mutran took a step back.“You see what I have to work with here,” the Makuta said as he gestured to the crude assortment of office supplies he had used to reconstruct Spyder’s face. Spyder didn’t seem to notice.“Eh-hee-hee-ha-hee-ha-hee-ha-hee-hee!” he laughed as he stood up from the chair and stumbled across the room, breaking the lights as he did so. Mutran was about to stop him, but decided against it.“Ha-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!” cackled the crazed creature as he staggered up the stairs of Mutran’s office, “Ha-ha-ha-ha-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”Hapori Tohu, President of BZPower, was just walking back into his office after taking a shower in his newly renovated private bathroom, which was part of his penthouse suite that overlooked the city of BZP Nui. As he walked back to his desk he heard the door open.“That you, Helryx?” he asked. He had been expecting his date to arrive any minute. However, he looked to the doorway and saw a small, hunched-over figure in the darkness.“Who the Karzahni are you?” asked Tohu. The figure took a step closer and spoke in a somewhat disturbing voice.“It’s me…Helryx.” Tohu grimaced. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted those online dating sites. But after staring at the figure for a few moments, he recognized who it was. He gave a nervous smile and held out his arms.“Spyder…Thank Mata Nui you’re alive! I thought you were-”“Gone?” interrupted the figure as he came closer, “Is that what you heard?…You took the site away twice…TWICE!…You must be insane…” Tohu gulped nervously and finished his drink of BZP cola. He turned around to his desk and reached out to press the silent alarm.“Don’t bother,” said the figure. Tohu turned around to see that he now had some kind of weapon pointed at him.“Your life won’t be worth spit!” shouted the president, knowing that hundreds of angry BZP members would go after Spyder once they found out.“I’ve been dead once before…It’s very liberating,” said the figure as he came even closer, “You should think of it as, uh…therapy. Heh-heh-heh-heh.” Tohu looked around and gave another nervous smile.“Listen Spyder…maybe we could cut a deal!” The figure paused in his advance.“Spyder?…Spyder’s gone, my friend. You can call me…” The figure stepped into the light, revealing that his Kanohi Tryna was stuck in a demented grin, “Snider... And as you can see, I’m a lot happier.” He let out a snicker as he held out the weapon in his hand, which was actually a banana-cream pie. He hurled it at Tohu, making the president stumble back. He made several more appear, and threw them continuously at Tohu until the Toa fell out the window and into a dumpster several floors below. Snider continued to laugh as he sat himself down in Tohu’s desk and put up his feet.“What a day,” he sighed happily.Word Count: 670
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