Shutdown, Shut In, Start Laughing

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

SHUTDOWNShut inStart Laughing Prologue I, Solaris, Toa of Insanity, was walking along one day, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, a automated moderator (try saying that five times fast) came walking my way. "I'm sorry sir, but we are closing down for updates." "Why?" I asked. "Because we need to be updated," it said. "Do I need to leave or something?" I continued to inquire (yeah, this is a fancy comedy). "Yes, you need to make like a whisk and beat it." "That's neither funny nor nice," I grumbled. "I am not a comedy moderator," it sighed. "I'm not saying I didn't completely hate it," I said. "It was creative, I'll give you that, but just not at all funny." There was a moment of awkward silence as we both stood there, staring the other down. "Just get outta this place, punk," it finally hissed. There was another awkward silence. "No," I said. "That's an order." "I live here." "Get a life." "I have a life. I write comedies on BZP." "Fine. I'm locking you in here with everyone else." More awkward silence. This seems to happen a lot. After the automated moderator (I'm serious, just say it five times fast, right now) had left, I sat down at my BZP comedy writing pad and began to type. It was nothing special, just some hogwash I was probably going to give up on in a couple of weeks (low expectations, people (did I mention this comedy has a lot of parenthesis? Well it does)). Oh well, at least I has my peace and quiet. "What'cha doin'?" I jumped at the unexpected voice. It was Vezon, the BZP Forums' local lunatic (alliteration is good for reputation (tru dat)). "I'm writing some hogwash I'm probably gonna give up on in a couple weeks," I replied, turning to face him. "Why do you write it, then?" he asked. "Because it gives me something to do," I said. "What's the difference between American Idol and the X Factor?" he then asked. "Um................................................................................................ algebra?" I replied, questioningly. "Ah," Vezon said. "I do not like algebra." "Join the club," I said, turning back to my writing pad. "So they're gonna close down the forums," Vezon stated. "Yeah, I know," I said, irritated. "And you're gonna be locked in the loony bin." "This is the comedy forum," I said. "We're not an insane asylum... yet." "Are you sure?" Vezon asked. "There are a lot of crazy people here. Myself excluded." At this point, he was standing on the ceiling. "We're crazy, but we're not locked in here against our will," I laughed. There was a loud buzzing, and the door to the BZP Forums was sealed off. "Can you tell me the definition of irony?" Vezon asked. "Yeah," I growled. "It's my fist in your face." Everyone in the entire forum was locked in. Our users were away, but the programs were left inside. We were trapped. And, as it seemed, forming a society like that in Tron. I could have sworn I saw some disk battles in the Off Topic Thread. What foul creatures lurk in there, I do not wish to find out. Yeesh. "So how about that asylum idea?" Vezon said, walking in on the right wall. "Well, the Off Topic Thread was a monster cave of unimaginable filth to begin with," I said. "But the Comedies Thread may become a seriously messed up place without anyone in charge." "So?" Vezon chuckled. "We take over the world, er, the forums." "Forum domination?" I asked, pondering the idea. "I'd make a terrible leader. Besides, that's a communism, which would degrade to a feudal society, and crumble into anarchy. I don't think we'd last the summer if we were in charge." "Chicken," Vezon sighed. "Yes I am," I said, proudly. Vezon shrugged and took off. "I don't think I will ever get that guy," I said, face-palming. I turned to see if anyone was going to agree, but no one was there in the hallway between threads. Plus no one has guest starred yet, so................ here's the form. Name:Species:Weapon:Mask (if applicable):Powers:Sidekick (optional):Running gag (optional):Background:Other: Well that wasn't funny. Let's try an old classic like................ why did the chicken cross the road? So he could epic fail at being funny. See, isn't modifying totally not funny jokes fun? What do you mean this thing has a story? Oh yeah, that. It'll sort itself out. Veering out of control? Preposterous! That story only veers out of control when I direct my attention away from it. "Well then," I said for no apparent reason. I do that sometimes, by the way. "Let's get those guest stars in." The narrator says that, little me. "Well, the fourth wall is a little irrelevant, big me," I shot back. "THE FOURTH WALL!" Axonn yelled, diving down to save it from breaking. "Don't do that, Toa Solaris. You may be crazy, but we don't need a flood of outside knowledge flowing in from Mata Nui knows where." "Mata Nui is gone, man," I said. "Be silenced, young fool!" he boomed. We both recovered quickly from the explosion. "So no fourth wall breaking?" I asked. "None," Axonn confirmed. "I shall stand guard at the fourth wall until it opens once more to let the users back in." At this point, I was just getting bored with this rather lame comedy, and wanted out of this madhouse immediately. "Just let me out!" I yelled, pounding on the fourth wall. "We're not letting you out until the updates are done," a moderator called back. "So that'll take what, less than a week?" I asked. "Yeah, about that long," the moderator answered. Two Years Later... What are we doing here? The comedy ended three years ago. Three Years Ago... What are we doing here? The comedy won't be written for another year. In this alternate universe, present day... Good enough. Vezon and I stood in my control panel, overlooking all of my things and stuff (see, a fancy comedy). "So what're we gonna do?" Vezon said. "Let's play a game," I said. "How about Vezon's Board Game? " Vezon suggested. "Sure," I said. "I haven't played a board game in a while." Vezon pulled out a few planks of wood and lay them on my theoretical desk. "So what's the point?" I asked. "Do we make something, build something, arrange 'em, play on 'em. What?" Vezon selected a board and... After he was done, smashing the top of my mask into my head, I sat for a while. "That's a very nice game ," I stated. Once I recovered, it hit me. POW! "Oh man ," I said. "That kinda hurt." Being hit with whatever "it" was had knocked "it" out of my head. But soon afterwards, the idea hit me again. " Seriously, now," I said. "I don't think this is good for my head." But the idea persisted, and soon it had beat me to a pulp. " Okay, what do you want, man?!" I yelled, battered and bruised. Then the idea swung and missed, and I caught it right in my hand. "Let's see here," I said, reading the squirming idea. "Help the update Matoran renovate the forums. What a great idea!" Will I get in to renovate the forums? Will Vezon's Board Game Go public? Can Axonn bravely defend the fourth wall? Will this question-asking at the end become a thing? All this and more will be answered on the next episode of Soap.................... MacTavish. No, wait, the sitcom! No, the cleansing product! How about this comedy, huh? Good enough. To be continued... Maybe...

[ManiacToaLaco]

I must say, I rather liked. A chuckled at most of the jokes, and groanded when I was supposed to. I like where this is going! MTL

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

*Thanks, MTL for the reply. I like where this is going too. No guest stars yet, but we can do without that for now. Chapter 1Are You... Board? That's a good question, Chapter 1. However, I do have a story to tell. The last time we left our hero, he was off to help the Matoran renovate the forums. They were all grouped around the locked door to the main page. "Wazzup!" I called to them. "......................... What?" they said. "Oh," I said. "That's not a thing, anymore?" "No!" another Matoran called. "Well," I said straightening out my armor. "How about I help you with the renovation?" This would be the part where I would walk around, trying to do jobs and failing beyond belief, wrecking everything in sight, making the job so much that I would've been punted into the Completely Off Topic Thread with the doors locked behind me. Anticipating this comedic stereotype, the Matoran blatantly refused. "No, we're not letting you help," the head Matoran said. "Why not?" I asked, totally disregarding the paragraph above. "Because you're a Comedy author," he sighed. "Comedy authors make everything so much worse! We just don't want you're type messing everything up around here." "Well I appreciate your honesty," I admitted. "I will leave without bothering you, and I will take this refusal like the mature Toa I am. That being said, I'd like to introduce you to a fun new hobby." "I love hobbies!" an obnoxious Matoran called out. "I love Best Buy!" another obnoxious Matoran argued. "Anobnoxious Matoran and Anotherobnoxious Matoran, get back to work!" the head Matoran yelled. "So what about this fun new hobby, Solaris?" "It's called Vezon's Board Game," I said. "Sounds crazy fun," the head Matoran said. "How do you play?" I pulled out one of Vezon's boards. Mr. Head Matoran looked up at the board and said, "So do we play on that or what?" And the commenced. Somewhere in the RPG Thread... "So do you think you would like to buy a few sets?" Vezon asked a passerby. "Well," Albert Passerby said, "It sounds like an interesting game. How do you play?" Vezon pulled out a board and once more. "Tell all your friends about Vezon's Board Game!" Vezon said. "I don't remember piano lessons ," Passerby said. "Tell all of your friends!" Vezon cackled. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" This went on for quite a while. Back in my CP... "Well, now I have nothing to do," I said, stating the obvious to the audience who already knew I was out of ideas. Just sayin'. "I don't wanna go outside because everyone's :headbonk:ing each other into the ground." So, I went out by the fourth wall and sat down. "Tired, Solaris?" Axonn asked. "Yeah," I said. "Not much to do, and I got beaten into a fine powder just walking over here. Vezon's Board Game is getting a bit out of hand." "Yes," Axonn sighed. "I've been on the receiving end of those blows as well. But I stand strong in my defense of the Fourth Wall." "You wouldn't even abandon your post for Jell-O?" I asked. Axonn stiffened at the last word. Well, since it's hyphenated, I guess you could only get by in calling it a word. It would be two words, if O made sense in modern language. That aside, Jell is not an actual word itself. Gel is, but Jell-O is a hyphenation of to non-words. Sorry about that. "I..." Axonn said, trembling. "Jell-O........ so tempting......... must resist............ need to eat Jell-O." Rather inconveniently, a psychopath from the Completely Off Topic Thread came running by with a bowl of Jell-O. Axonn gave in, and ran off in pursuit of the glorious gelatin. Why do these things always happen in comedies? "Well, I guess it's up to me to guard the fourth wall until Axonn comes back," I sighed, picking up his axe. Standing there, guarding the Fourth Wall was an enlightening experience. I heard everything going on in the BZP main page. All of the LEGO news, all of the BZP update progress reports, and all of the gossip of the users who couldn't get back into the forums. Vezon walked up to me, board in hand and asked what I was doing. "Well, Axonn's out chasing some Jell-O, and I'm guarding the Fourth Wall for him," I said. "Oh," Vezon said, slowly drifting upside-down as if he were in zero gravity. "Anything new?" "Not much," I said. "Standing here is just as boring as it was yesterday, only I have an axe in my hand. The axe helps." "You gonna spray yourself with that?" Vezon asked. I glanced at Axonn's huge double-bladed axe. "This? No. Why do you ask?" "Well," Vezon explained, "in the user world, people sometimes put an Axe in their armpits and in their hair." "That must really hurt," I said. "It's supposed to be really appealing stuff, too," Vezon went on. "That's just weird," I said, cringing. "Well, I'd better do what I came here to do," Vezon said. "What would that be?" I asked. Vezon promptly :headbonk:ed me to a pancake. What's with Vezon's Board Game? Can it be stopped? Will Axonn get his Jell-O? What will happen at the Fourth Wall? Can we lock up the Completely Off Topic-ers? Will the Comedies Forum become a loony bin, too? All this and more will be answered on the next episode of Soap. Darn it, I did it again. To be continued... Still debating about that...

[ManiacToaLaco]

I do believe that part about comedy authors making things worse was my favourite part. Wouldn't Axxon's axe be taller than a toa? Since you seem to be in need of some GS, I send a PM.. MTL

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

*A new chapter so soon? Yes! I've got some time on my hands. Thanks for that GS request, MTL. Chapter 2According to Our New Arrival... Well, I've gotten myself into a fine mess. Isn't that wonderful? And to top it all off, I had just been smashed into the ground by Vezon. Until someone came to my rescue. "Stop, villain!" the voice cried. Out of nowhere, a Toa appeared, dagger in hand, who began stabbing Vezon. "Oh stop!" Vezon laughed. "It tickles!" The dagger was blunt. "Do not say such a thing to greatest, most handsomest, and most intelligent of all beings in existence!" the Toa exclaimed. "Well, I beg to differ," Vezon pouted. "I'm the lamest, most ugliest, and most dumbest of all beings in nonexistence." "What's that mean?" I asked. "It means the same thing he said," Vezon answered. "Hello, you two," he said. "I am Maniac ToaLaco. I am am the CEO of a wonderful business--" "Hey, I know your business," I interrupted. "Isn't it in the red, right now?" "Well, that's not important," MTL mumbled. "What is important is how great I am, and what excellent comedies I've written." "I've seen a few of your business's comedies, and they seemed to have failed," Vezon said. "You have some real nice spoofs, though." "Yeah, spoofs are always fun," I said, peeling myself off of the ground. "Isn't that axe a bit big for you?" MTL asked me while glaring at Vezon. "Well yeah, but I'm strong," I said, picking the axe up. "Seriously, man, that's too tall for you," he argued. "I can handle it," I said, my arm shaking from the weight of the huge blade looming a few feet above my head. "That axe may be bigger than my physical form, but my awesomeness dwarfs that tiny little thing," MTL boasted. "Well, I'm sure Hapori Tohu is a bigger celebrity than you are," I challenged. "Ha!" MTL laughed. "Tohu is no match for my sheer greatness. I am the toast of Invision Power Boards!" The lights went out. "Attention, BZPower programs," a voice came over the PA system. "Invision Power Boards is no longer our host. We must find a new host and relocate the forums to there. Until then, we will continue to update what we already have. Thank you, and have a sparkling day." "Ah, ," I emoticoned. "I like toast," Vezon stated. "Not the time or place, Vezon," I said. Silence. He must have gotten lost, floating in his private zero gravity of his own insanity (I'm a poet, and I was fully aware of it). "I can't find my Jell-O!" a distant voice called. "Wait," MTL said. "If the forums are down and locked, and we no longer have support of Invision, then where are the Completely Off Topic-ers?" Whispers of spam and nonsense filled the air as they got closer to Axonn's lament over the Jell-O. There was also a loud clang as I collapsed under the weight of the huge axe. Soon, Axonn was silenced. "What happened?" MTL asked. "They've taken him to their lair, and will turn him against his Fourth Wall beliefs," I said. "We need to get him, and lock up the COT Thread." "How?" MTL said. "We write an angry letter to the administrators, then throw it out," I said. "Then we write an angrier letter to the administrators and send it." "How will that help?" MTL asked. "Works for me," Vezon said, as he, presumably, floated by. "It'll work," I said. "Trust me." It didn't work. The PM system I mean. We couldn't send a single thing to any administrators. "Well, we board it up," I said. "It'll be like Call of Duty Zombies, only we can't turn the power on ourselves, we're fighting against spammers, and we can't see the hands in front of our masks." "I'll just hold them off with my greatness!" MTL exclaimed. "You do that," I said. "Let's pace then. It gets the mind flowing." I began walking around, bumping into everything, as I couldn't see where I was going. There was a whirring sound beside me, and an even greater amount of crashing. "MTL," I shouted. "What are you doing." "Mask of Speed," he answered. "I thought this might help me pace." "Yeah, well at least Vezon's Board Game is put to rest," I sighed. There was a crash. Neither of us were moving. A spammer was near. I could feel his useless remarks of nothing LEGO related being whispered into the air. "They're here," I stated, not sounding like a creepy little girl at all. "Lock and load." "All I have is this knife," MTL stated. "Good enough," I said. Will we survive the spammers? When will the lights come back on? Where are Vezon and Axonn? Can the Comedies Thread survive the insanity? Will this question asking end? All this and less will be answered on the next episode of SDSISL! I got it right! Yesssss. To be continued... Somewhat...

[ManiacToaLaco]

I must say, this may be my new favourite comedy. It has a very "upper class"-ish feel to it, which I quite enjoy.

"That axe may be bigger than my physical form, but my awesomeness dwarfs that tiny little thing," MTL boasted.

Had to have been my favourite part. And the mask of speed part. Actually, I enjoyed the whole thing, and Vezon is great as ever. Looking forward to next chapter! MTL

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

*I'm glad I'm funny, I enjoy writing like a rich, well-learned person, and Vezon is better than ever. Chapter 3This is What You Get When You Don't Pay Your Bills The spammer was getting closer. I could feel the stench of its presence as it got closer. And as it got closer, the closer it got, it got closer to how close it was getting, considering that getting close was the goal of this close-getting close-getter who apparently wanted to test those get-close skills of his getting close degree in getting closer to which he was close to getting. Confused yet? I know I am. "So how do we get rid of these guys?" MTL asked. "I have a plan, but it doesn't deserve my excellence." "Are you in love with yourself?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I was," MTL sighed. "But I had to go my separate way. The harsh reality of myself was too much for me. I decided to just remain good friends with myself." "And I'm the crazy one," I mumbled. "How about that plan, not-as-awesome friend," MTL asked again. "Well," I said, narrowing my eyes mysteriously, "I have some weapons that may help." I pulled out a glowing PPSh-41 (that's a WWII Russian submachine gun, my favorite) and sprayed the bullets all over the room. "Excuse me, gents," the spammer suddenly said. "I was on my way to brunch, and I thank you for giving me some directional information. Good day to you both, and I wish you a most splendid tomorrow." With that, he walked away. "What the heck did you do?" MTL gasped. "That was... not nearly as amazing as me, but deserves an honorable mention." "Well..." I said, almost insulted. "I am a Toa of Insanity, therefore my weapon channels the power of pure sanity-less-ness. Since spammers are already a type of insane, it's a negative divided by a negative to make a positive. They are now gentle-Toa who respect others and adore the English language." "Isn't it the Matoran language?" MTL asked. " " I emoticoned. "Gotcha," MTL said, nodding. "So how do we find Vezon and Axonn?" "We ask that stately chap over there," I answered imitating the former spammer. "Ah yes, you two rather plain Toa," the ex-spammer said. "Hey!" MTL snapped. "You're talking to the handsomest being in existance." There was suddenly a burst of sobbing from nearby. "What in the blazes of the fireplace in my winter home was that?" the not-spam Toa asked, adjusting his monocle. "Oh that's probably just Kiina," I answered. "Ever since Mata Nui left and broke up with her, she cries her eyes out whenever she hears anything about beings, existence, power, or tacos. It's quite inconvenient that we were standing right next to her. But, that kinda crud happens in Comedies." "Tacos?" MTL stated. "Mata Nui looooved tacos," I said. "She really needs to get over it. It's been a year or so. It doesn't take me that long to get over relationships." "I still am a bit awkward around myself," MTL mumbled. "I had a harsh falling-out, and I'm still living with myself." "And how exactly do you know all of this?" the spam-less one asked. The camera dramatically zoomed in on my face as I took off a pair of sunglasses while saying, "Because............ I'm.............. the Author." Silence. "Did you all see me take the sunglasses off?" I asked. "I can't see anything," MTL replied. "Not even the awesomeness in front of me." "All we need are the directions to the Off Topic Thread," I sighed, face-palming. "Well, you walk on down this hallway, and take a right at the last door," the gentle-spam explained. MTL and I ran to the door of the Off Topic Thread. As we neared, we heard Axonn's cries of pain as the Fourth Wall was hammered by the devoted spammers. Soon, we were inside. We were getting closer to the goal we had set to get closer to, which, as we got closer, became a closer goal we were getting to, being the close goal we had gotten to which we were getting close to, in getting close to the thing we wanted to be close to getting, so that in getting close, we had almost reached our goal of being close to getting, as we had gotten close. Still there? "All right, MTL," I said, loading my PPSh. "Let's do this." I burst into the thread, firing my weapon to make the spammers around us the sane beings they were meant to be. MTL, possessing only a blunt dagger, did some okay kung fu moves behind me, making all the gentlemen behind us stare at the strange Toa who was flailing around like a fish. A very skilled fish, I'll hand him that... Once we had reached Axonn and Vezon, they were already up to their necks in a rising tide of green liquid. "Help," Axonn screamed (like a little girl). "They're drowning us in lime Jell-O!" "Apparently he hates that flavor," Vezon said, absentmindedly. "I could care less about my inevitable death. I just would really like it if these funny little people had a government. I'd be willing. Oh well, at least you two are here to free us." MTL gestured for me to go first. "Age before beauty," I mumbled. "What do you mean by that," MTL asked. "I'm 7893 years old," I stated. "You?" We both shrugged as I stepped into the slowly forming Jell-O. "Almost there," I growled, trudging through the thick liquid. A couple of spammers had sneaked up behind us and knocked us unconscious. The last thing I heard was Vezon saying, "Oh yes. They really like my Board Game." What will happen to me and MTL? What will happen to Axonn and Vezon? What will happen to the spammers and the gentlemen? What will happen to everyone's egos? When will the lights come back on? When will this question asking end? All this and absolutely nothing more will be answered on the next episode of Soap! Darn it to heck, I thought I kicked that habit. To be continued... My sources say no, but my boss says yes...

[ManiacToaLaco]

Very good chapter!

"Mata Nui looooved tacos," I said. "She really needs to get over it. It's been a year or so. It doesn't take me that long to get over relationships.""I still am a bit awkward around myself," MTL mumbled. "I had a harsh falling-out, and I'm still living with myself."

Was my favourite part of this one. Good job once more! MTL

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

Chapter 4The Bitter Taste of Freedom, Best Served Cold That's what we call a mixed pun. Story? Oh, yes! We woke up. Is that a good beginning? Hm. Let's try five minutes prior to that. Five minutes earlier... ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................We woke up. The green water was still gushing in, and the surface was already beginning to coagulate (oh yes I did). Vezon and Axonn were beginning to float, seeing as the pole was not secured to the ground. Silly spammers. MTL was rising out of the goo-ish substance, blunt dagger in hand. "This was not fun," I mumbled. "I'm sure it would've been less fun without me here," MTL boasted. I frowned. Then I smiled, not wanting to waste my muscle strength. "See," MTL said, totally misinterpreting my smile. "You're happy already." "1ndtruders!11!!1!" someone yelled. "Dude," another spammer yelled, "they've been here for like @ b1llion ye@rs!!11!1111!1" "What are they saying?" I asked, frowning again. "Beats me," Axonn said. Suddenly, the sheer lack of knowledge came and beat Axonn up. "Besides, they're plan to imprison you went horribly wrong," Vezon explained. "They were supposed to bind you up, but left you, instead, and you were out cold for about an hour, and everyone sort of forgot about you. Oh yes, did I mention my board game is a meme, now?" Everyone but Vezon groaned. "Hey, look!1!11!!!" someone yelled. "They is w@k1ng up!!!!11!1!!!!1111!!" "Is that supposed to be binary code?" I asked, observing the !s and 1s. "No," Vezon said. "That's their punctuation. They're exclamation points." "You can understand that Kane-Ra-crud?" MTL said. "That's... almost amazing. I myself can understand it." "Then say, 'Every single of your command headquarters are now in our possession,'" Vezon challenged. "Uh................ something?" MTL guessed. "No," Vezon answered. "The correct answer is 'All your base are belong to us.' You have lost five hundred widgets." "I WHAT?" MTL said. "Oh well, if it happens to me, it's a good thing." "And Solaris," Vezon said. "What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?" "I'M A FIRIN' my LAZOR! BLAH!" I answered. "Correct," Vezon said. "You have passes the noobishness test. You have lost a million widgets." "A million widgets?!" I yelled. "Well, you've only lost a million widgets," Vezon explained. "So I did good?" I asked. "Yes you did," Vezon clarified. I looked to the left, then the right and said, "Sell everything." "Either get a life, or free us!" Axonn yelled. "Some lime Jell-O just got in my mouth. Where do they keep the orange in here?!" "Cut them loose," I told MTL. He nodded, and proceeded to cut the ropes that bound Vezon and Axonn. One hour later... "Done yet?" I asked, putting my book down a moment. "Not yet," MTL gasped. "Almost halfway through." "Give me that," Vezon said, grabbing the knife. He then floated up out of the ropes, shook my hand, and floated back in. "What was that supposed to do?" I sighed. "Well, I just shook your hand," Vezon said. "And you can escape!" MTL exclaimed. "Now come on, let's go, before you surpass my greatness. Although, you aren't nearly as handsome as me." Vezon narrowed his eyes. "Looks like a showdown," Axonn said. "No, I think I need glasses," Vezon said. "Well, let's just mosey on out of here," I said. And so we moseyed. We went out as smooth as cowboys on a western summer day, I reckon. Boy howdy, how we moseyed 'cross that thread floor. I say, I say, I say, sir, we moseyed right through that darn place 'till we got caught. "RUN AWAY!" I yelled, promptly running away. "Coward," MTL mumbled. "Actually, yeah," Vezon said. Everyone joined me outside the door. "Lock it!" Axonn suggested. "We'll drown them in disgusting lime goo!" "None of us is a moderator," I said. "Well, I'm just as--" MTL began. "Not another awesome word," I interrupted. "I'll be right back." Once more, I ran away. When I came back, I was dragging a construction Matoran by the mask. "He's not a moderator," Axonn said. "No, but he can close the thread," I said. "Now hurry, construction midget." "Matoran," the CM corrected me. "Same difference," I said. There was a loud groaning as the door shut, and a clang as it was locked. "OMG!111!!one!11!!1" a muffled spammer voice yelled from behind the door. "No onez shut off the Jell-Os!111!1" "Ohs Noes!11!111!!1" another yelled. There was a satisfying thud as the Jell-O began to pound against the door, filling the entire thread. "We did it," I said. "We couldn't see the hands in front of our masks, and we did it!" "Actually, my coolness allows me to--" MTL argued. "Not the time or place," Axonn said. So, we all walked off into the horizon, bumping into so many people we couldn't see along the way, and crashing into the horizon, knocking it over onto the film crew. And we all lived rather irritably ever after... To be continued... Yah, right... Edited October 27, 2011 by Solaris: Toa of Insanity

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

Chapter 5A Quest? Don't Be SillyPart IWell, now that we're all free, and no one is reading my comedy anymore, MTL, Vezon and I all sat... well, as we couldn't see a darn thing, we didn't know where we were sitting. And Vezon wasn't exactly sitting. He was... let's call it hovering."So how about them digital watches," I said. "Pretty neat, huh?"They nodded politely. I think.Since Axonn was away guarding the Fourth Wall, we didn't have much to do. Until Kiina came along."Hey, Kiina," I yelled. "We're having a taco party over here, and we're eating them on Ignika-embossed plates. Wanna join us?"She ran away sobbing."Wasn't that a bit mean?" Vezon asked."Nah," I said. "It's the truth."And right before us appeared tacos on Ignika-embossed plates."Well, as long as it's the truth, it isn't mean," MTL said, chowing down.And Vezon........... he began chowing up."So are there anymore spammers in the realm of the sane?" Vezon said, quite ironically."Yes," I said."How do you know?" MTL asked."Because........... I'm............. the Author," I said, once again removing a pair of sunglasses from my mask as the camera zoomed in. "Did you guys see that, this time?""No," MTL said. "If I can't see it, I can't say it's okay.""What do you mean by okay?" Vezon asked."Well, by my standards," MTL explained, "anything described by you normal people as awesome would be only okay in my eyes.""Let's take some orange Jell-O down to Axonn," I suggested randomly. "He's been guarding the Fourth Wall an awful long time."So we did. After weaving our way through the darkness of the non-existent forums, we found Axonn standing faithfully by the Fourth Wall."Hey guys," he said. "What you doin' up here.""Well, we were going to bring you Jell-O," MTL said. "But Vezon dropped it and we couldn't find it on the ground. It's like the floor just opened up and swallowed it.""Like a taco," I said. Sobbing was heard nearby."Well, there's a story behind that," a voice said. We all turned to see Toa Lhikan standing behind us. "Legend tells of a weapon so powerful it could transform a comedy from prose to script." The Fourth Wall shook, suddenly."Cool it, buddy," Axonn said, raising his axe."The remaining spammers in this part of the forums have found a way to get to it," Lhikan went on. "They have found a map that leads them through the caverns below the Comedies thread. A maze of tunnels so perilous, none have ever returned. Except for the mail." He dumped a sack of envelopes with "Return to Sender" stamped on the front."So why does this matter?" MTL said. "They can't do anything awesome against me.""No," Lhikan said. "Script will render this great prose comedy lame, and will pull you down with it.""Well there are plenty of great script comedies," I argued. "Why is this a bad thing?""Be quiet," Lhikan snapped. "You're ruining the story.""But I'm the Author," I argued."Precisely," Lhikan said. "Now where was I? Oh yes. You have no idea what these spammers will be capable of once they find the Staff of Script. You must beat them to it, or suffer the consequences. They will change your precious comedy into.......... and "Ask" Comedy!""There are a lot of great script ask comedies out there too," I sighed."I will send you with the Toa Metru and the Toa Nuva," Lhikan said. "Do not fail us.""I..." Vezon began. "That... I don't think... should we... are we actually... so we're gonna... sounds like fun.""Let's get going, then," I sighed.And so, the Toa Metru and Nuva joined us as we entered the Comedies thread."This place has changed since I last came here," I said. "It's a lot more dark. And the people seem to be succumbing to their repressed insanity. I hope to Mata Nui that they don't end up a bunch of brainless tacos like the COT thread."Quite inconveniently (for Kiina), Kiina was just walking by when she heard my statement. She ran off, crying once more."So where are the caves?" Onewa asked. "I bet there's a lot of rock down there. Much to carve. I LOVE TO CARVE!""Well, carving's not a job," Onua argued. "Now mining, that's a real job!""You said you'd stop doing that!" Pohatu whined. "Carving is too a job!""Well, an addendum to that list of hypotheses, I would enjoy inputting my opinion of scholar as a vocation," Nuju said."Thinking's not a job," Lewa argued. "It's not even fun!""Oh, just because you can't even think," Onua shot back. "Your pastime of 'wind-flying' isn't even a job. You're unemployed.""Mom, Dad," Kopaka whined. "Everyone's fighting again.""Settle down," Tahu said. "And stop calling Gali and me mom and dad. We don't even like each other.""That would usually indicate that you most likely have repressed, but clearly active feelings of great affection for one another," Nuju observed."NERD!" Matau called out."I do hope I don't have to deal with them for long," I said, holding my head. "There's just too many to deal with.""I found something!" Nokama cried out. "It's the entrance to the Caverns of Comedy.""Nice find, Nokama," Matau said, getting close to her. "You know, I could have you find some other things for me. Here's the address to a restaurant. Find me there tonight."Nokama grabbed Matau by the arms and flung him down the hole in the wall."Nice throw," Vakama said, quietly."Well, when we look back at the history between you three," Nuju explained, "I believe this fault can be traced back to Vakama.""Remember when Vakama thought everything was his fault?" Whenua asked."That's because everything was my fault," Vakama sighed. "Now I realize that everything will always be my fault.""Oh, great job you two," Gali sighed. "Now Vakama's gonna be stuck like this forever.""Heh," Tahu laughed. "You're ugly.""It's my fault Gali's ugly," Vakama sighed."I've heard this from somewhere before," I said, thinking back to a comedy I read."This is why I don't go out with you," Nokama said."It's all my fault Nokama won't go out with me," Vakama said."Let's just go down into the Caverns of Comedy," I suggested, shepherding them into the hole in the wall. We all fell off the cliff we didn't notice at first."Gravity is all my fault!" Vakama cried as we fell through empty space.MTL was about to make a comment on Vakama's awesomeness, but we hit the ground first.To be continued... It's all Vakama's fault this might not be continued...

[ManiacToaLaco]

Good chapter! For some reason I imagined Lhikan being voiced by Hugo Weaving....A staff that could change a comedy from script to prose? Now that could be interesting...

"Gravity is all my fault!" Vakama cried as we fell through empty space.

I also always love making fun of Vakama's mopyness. He really did get pretty emo-ish (to an extent) in story.And I must say, awesome chapter!MTL

[spyder ryder]

This is a great comedy. I'm not sure why, but I burst out laughing when Matau called Nuju a NERD!

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

Chapter 6 (dun dun duuuuuun)A Quest? Don't Be SillyPart IIFirst off, you may have noticed the dramatic 'bad things happening' music in the chapter title. That is because I hate the number 6. Why? Because it's demonic! Kinda. Well, one third demonic. If you catch my drift. Secondly, you may have also noticed the ROMAN NUMERALS OF EPICNESS! tHIRD OFF, I SEEM TO HAVE THE CAPS LOCK ON.wE JOIN OUR HEROES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CLIFF IN THE cAVERNS OF cOMEDY. HOW IN kARZAHNI DO I FIX THAT.nUJU: wELL, TO BEGIN THIS LECTURE OF INSTRUCTION, i NEVER RAISE MY VOICE TO A LOUD DECIBEL LEVEL. cONTINUING, YOU JUST DEPRESS THE CAPITAL LETTER LOCK BUTTON."Okay, I guess I'll just make everything normal," the caps lock button sighed. "Not that it matters to anyone. I used to be a rather happy guy before you went and depressed me. I have a life too, you know. No you don't. You don't care! No one cares! Whaaaaa!" And with that, it ran off.Wait, whaaaat?"Let's just get going before the spammers win," I said, heading deeper into the cave.Takanuva jumped down into the cliff and began glowing. "Hey guys!" I'm here to light the caverns so that you can see.""Why are you a Toa of Light, anyways?" Vezon asked."Because I'm........... deathly afraid of the dark," Takanuva said, looking down and shuffling his feet.There was a silence as we all stood quiet. Duh."Let's get on with our task so that we don't end up in a non-only okay environment," MTL suggested.So, we walked down the winding tunnel, only getting lost.......... well, once. We were lost for a few hours. As a matter of fact we're still lost. Ain't that inconvenient?"We're DEAD!" Tahu yelled, falling on his hands and knees in despair. "We're lost, we're dead, and the spammers are gonna win!" He began pounding the ground with his fists and soon burst into tears. What a loser. Oh, I mean, he may have a point, and has a very dramatic representation of it.[cough]Loser[cough]"Well, we may as well forge on," I said, looking into the darkness ahead.Darkness? Oh, crud, Matau shut Takanuva off again."Who turned out the light?" Takanuva yelled in a panic."Matau did," Matau answered in the third person."Since when are we lined up?" Pohatu asked. "And why does Matau get to be the third person? I like the number three better than him!"So, we switched Matau and Pohatu. But that still didn't solve the Takanuva outage."Someone turn on the light," Takanuva called out. "I'm scared, mommy." He then started hugging Gali's leg."Why do the Toa Nuva think we're their parents?" Gali asked Tahu. Then she remembered that he was having a nervous breakdown. She also remembered that he would have just called her ugly. She then remembered that time at summer camp when she and her friends wound up....... I don't think BZP would smile upon me finishing that sentence.Long story short something happened, and they all regretted it. Except for Macku. Come to think of it, Hahli didn't regret it either. Or Nokama....... or Dalu....... or even Vhisola....... or Gali. So none of them regretted it. The details: it had to do with a kayak, a waterfall two rubber bands, a box of matches and a pineapple.Ah yes. In the time I've blabbed to you, everyone has found their way into the final chamber."You shall not pass," the spirit of Matoro, who guarded the final chamber, mumbled."Speak up!" I yelled at him."You shall not pass," Matoro repeated, a bit louder."Can't we just meander on past him?" Nuju inquired. "After all, he is a non-corporeal being, and cannot inflict bodily harm upon any member of this company."After a moment's confused silence, Matau called out, "NERD!"So, we walked past, leaving a depressed Matoro behind."I don't understand why no one likes me," Matoro sighed."Join the club," the caps lock button sobbed.So, we entered the final chamber, and before us sat a large metal staff with a golden script on the top. The voice of Lhikan once more entered my crowded mind."You must go to Mount Doom and cast the One Ring into the fire. Only then can you destroy it."Hey, wait a minute..."So this is it," Nokama said. "This could decide the fate of our comedy.""SHINY!" Lewa yelled, running over to it, knocking it over."It's all my fault Lewa knocked it over," Vakama wailed."This is why I don't go out with any of you Toa!" Nokama sighed in frustration."You wouldn't even consider--" Matau began. Nokama reflexively punched Matau in the face."Let's just grab it and go," Gali sighed.But it was too late. The spammers came out of the opposite end of the chamber and took hold of the staff. I knew this was a horrible task force."This doesn't look okay," MTL stated."Well, at least I'll be rid of these extra characters by the end of the chapter," I said."What's that supposed to mean?" Onua asked.There was a large whoosh, and a sucking noise. Then a pop and...Vakama: IT'S ALL MY FAULT THIS COMEDY IS IN SCRIPT!To be continued... I guess, maybe, or not, y'know or something...

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

Chapter VIINew FormatNarrator: The last we met our heroes, they were defeated in their race for the Staff of Script in the Caverns of Comedy. Dejected, they retreated from the spammers, and are now--Solaris: Who the Karzahni are you?Narrator: Why I'm the narrator. I've been here since the beginning. I was just the jumble of un-quotated words, but now that the script has been manifested, I have been given a tag.Solaris: I don't like you.Narrator: Well why not?Solaris: I'm the comedy author, you're the comedy narrator. By the BZP Comedies Stereotype and Running Gag Contract, I'm obligated to hate you.Narrator: I see I'll just get out of your way.Solaris: You're a non-corporeal being. How can you get out of my way?Narrator: Well, I meant it metaphorically.Solaris: Whatever. [walks to control panel] When did I get a laptop inside my account, inside this website, inside the internet, inside my computer?Vezon: Well, now that this has become a script comedy, you, as the author are obligated to answer emails from made-up and real people.Solaris: But this isn't an Ask Comedy. Read the title.Axonn: Whoa boys. Solaris, since you're the author, I can let the talks with the Narrator go, but making Vezon read the title is just too much for the Fourth Wall.Vezon: And now I know.Axonn: Because knowing is half the battle. Hey wait a minute.Fourth Wall: [rumbles]Solaris: Time to check the email.Laptop Inside My Account, Inside This Website, Inside The Internet, Inside My Computer: You have no messages.Solaris: What the Karz does that mean.LIMAITWITIIMC: I'm not foolin' ya. You have no messages.Solaris: Well bye, then.Laptop: WAIT, NO![Crash]Solaris: [whips out smartphone] How many texts do I have.Smartphone: You have 571289305270319815230798214795023986.235987 texts.Solaris: How can I have .235987 texts.Smartphone: Showing message:

Hey Solaris, what do you think about egg cracki--

Solaris: Oh. Well, delete spam.Smartphone: You have 571289305270319815230798214795023985 texts.Solaris: That's it. You just deleted 1.235987 texts?Smartphone: You only had one spam message.Solaris: Oh. Well delete the hate mail then.Smartphone: You have no texts.Solaris: But... Show me the spam message.Smartphone:

Hello my good sir/madam,I am Atukam, the totally not Makuta of Geddovamilawn, Nigeria. I has a very good propasal for you. Ever since you left my country, you has left a sum of OVER 9000!!!!!! US dollars. I is a secretary of the rebel ladder in the city of Geddovamilawn, and he has held this mony for yous. When you left the country at the beginning of the rebellion, you lefts yours mony here, leaving it in the trust of the rebel ladder. He was killed in combat just a few days ago, and left control of the mony to me. Since I does not no what to does with this, I am giving two thirds of this sum to you, and keeping the rest to fund the rebellion. Just send me all yur base, and personal information, and I will send yous the mony in exchange for helping our cause.Thank you, thank you very much,Atukam the totally not Makuta

Solaris: HA! I just love reading spam like that. Goodbye.Smartphone. You have one new text.Solaris: What the Karz, I don't got nothin' to lose.Crushed Laptop: I believe what you meant to say was "What the Karzahni, I do not have anything to lose."Solaris: [glares] Just show me the text, smartphone.Phone:

Hi Solaris. So this script thing is crazy, right? I can't believe how lame this is, especially compared to me. At least the spammers didn't do a total hostile takeover. Well, here's wishin' you an ordinary day.MTLP.S. Tell Vezon I said he looks bland today.

Solaris: Well... I can... Vezon, MTL says you look bland today!Vezon: Oh. Well, that's the best you can get out of him.Solaris: Anything new?Phone: Believe it or not, yes.

Solaris,I want a raise.Vezon

Solaris: But I was just talking to...Vezon: I have an iPhone 153 in my head.Solaris: There aren't 153 models of the iPhone.Vezon: I'm improbable.Solaris: I see what you're saying. Bump it.[FIST BUMP]Vezon: What about that raise?Solaris: I don't pay you.Vezon: Well can you.Solaris: No.Vezon: Why not?Solaris: Because 1) I don't get payed. 2) I have no money. 3) You're my friend. I don't pay people to be my friends. Speaking of which, Narrator.Narrator: Don't forget, other viewers who don't bother posting because this is too funny to reply to, you can guest star by filling out and PMing the form in the Prologue to Solaris, AND post in this topic because this is too funny NOT to reply to.Solaris: Thank you. Now, since I am accepting questions for the unlicensed Ask portion of this comedy [glances around in paranoia], feel free to PM me questions until I get bored and find something else to do. And feel free to send flashlights. The lights haven't come on. I miss Invision Power Boards. When will BZP fix their darn forums?To be continued... Sorry for the wait, expect long pauses, and a brief, swift death to this thread...

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

Chapter VIIIA Very Scripted ThanksgivingNarrator: Hello, and Happy Thanksgiving!Solaris: I'm pretty sure only the Americans celebrate Thanksgiving.Narrator: Well you celebrate Thanksgiving.Solaris: I'm an American.Narrator: Well, you're the author, so everyone in this comedy is celebrating Thanksgiving.Solaris: Well, as not to seem racist--Narrator: How?Solaris: --we're going to celebrate the BZPower equivalent, Thanksposting.Narrator: What the Karz is Thanksposting?Axonn: I'm sorry Solaris, you're time is up. Please step away from the fourth wall before it a splodes.Solaris: [steps away] Well, for everyone's information, Thanksposting celebrates the day that the BIONICLEs and Maori sat down and had turkey, celebrating the fact that no one was suing each other any more. They ate turkey and posted in every single topic on BZPower. Now we celebrate Thanksposting.Vezon: That's Kane-Ra [censored].Solaris: Let's post what we're thankful for. I am thankful for swearing.Vezon: I think that's kind of a touchy subject on this site.Solaris: Your mother was a [censored] lorem ipsum [censored] Admintum menium [censored] tra goo la [censored] hippopotamus [censored] republican [censored] Daniel Radcliffe [censored] with a bucket of [censored] in a castle far away where no one can here you [censored] soup [censored] with a bucket of [censored] Mickey Mouse [censored] a stick of dynamite [censored] magical [censored] ALAKAZAM!Vezon: .......................... Yeah, swearing's fun. But I'm thankful for--Solaris: Here's the keyboard.Vezon: Oh, right. Anyways, I'm thankful for me. Without me I wouldn't be here! Thank's me for always being so awesome.Solaris: And MTL has the ego problem.MTL: Well, I'm thankful for my good looks. They are the base of my awesomeness. Not like Vezon's ugliness and ordinary-ness.Solaris: Okay. Um... Matau, what are you thankful for.Matau: I'm thankful for Nokama.Nokama: And I am thankful for this hand with which to slap you![sMACK]Matau: Wow. You're hot even when you slap me.[POW]Solaris: Okay. So what's Vakama thankful for? This should be interesting. And depressing. Weird combo.Vakama: It's all my fault that I'm thankful for all my friends and family that are safe and sound this holiday season. It's all my fault I love them all and wish them a Happy Thanksposting! WHAAA!Solaris: And Kiina is thankful for tacos.Kiina: Yeah, well I'm not sad about that anymore.Vezon: Did you finally get over him?Kiina: No. I'm my ANGRY PHASE!Solaris: Um... not the face, not the face, not the face, NOT THE FACE!Kiina: [beats up Solaris]Vezon: We need to get Mata Nui back for this chick. She's goin' crazy. And only a finite number of people are allowed to go crazy here.Solaris: So. What is everyone else thankful for. 'Cause I'm just gonna drag myself off to my control panel and cough up blood.Nuju: I am thankful for physics, grammar, correct spelling, stars, the universe in general, and my own, if insignificant, existance.Matau: NERD!Gali: I am thankful for my stunning good looks.Tahu: I'm thankful I broke up with her when we were Toa Nuva so I didn't have to look at that ugly mask every time I woke up.Lewa: I am thankful-grateful for wind-flying! [jumps off a cliff with his air katana held by his side][CRASH]Kopaka: I am thankful for silence...............................................................................................Onua: I am thankful for mining. A REAL job.Onewa: I am thankful for being able to chop rock up to make it look pretty. I am ungrateful for almost sharing a name with that punk.Pohatu: I am thankful for being able to KICK THINGS!Whenua: And I'm thankful for darkness that I can shine my light in.Nuju: I believe what you intended to state was 'in which to shine my light.'Matau: NERD!Nuju: That is a rather judgmental and poorly supported opinion.Vezon: Who wants turkey!All: I do.Vezon: Shut up, All. You'll get none and like it.All: But they get turkey! Why can't I have turkey.Vezon: Because you're an annoying pun. Now shoo.[All vanishes in a puff of logic]Axonn: I'm thankful for SMASHING IT WITH A HAMMER!Solaris: He's gonna hit the turkey![CRACK]Axonn: Sorry 'bout that one. But I have a backup turkey.Jala: Well thank Mata Nui for that.Huki: Let's eat!Maku: I'd like some turkey.Hali: I need to slim down, but this won't hurt.Maori Lawyer: ATTACK!Jaller, Hewkii, Macku, Hahli: Just kidding!Maori: Oh, you almost got us there.Maori #3: Let's eat.Solaris: You know, proper punctuation saves lives.Vezon: [sitting on the table on the ceiling] How so.Solaris: Let's eat Grandma. Or; Let's eat, Grandma.MTL: I don't get it.Solaris: Happy Thanksposting, everyone!To be continued... Or not, your choice...

[Solaris: Electric Sentinel]

Chapter IXYou Gotta Ask Me NicelyNarrator: I got nothin' to say. Over to you, Solaris.Solaris: Um... you have to say something.Narrator: Something. There, happy?Solaris: No, just at least say what I'm doing.Narrator: Okay. Solaris is answering questions on his iPhone.Solaris: Thank you. You may go, now.Vezon: So, questions, huh?Solaris: Yeah. Phone, how many new texts?Phone: You have several texts.Vezon: And I'm the vague one.Solaris: Um, how many is several?Phone: Well, it's how many you want it to be. You are the author.Solaris: Um, open the first one.Phone:

Hi Solaris,So that was a fun Thanksposting, last chapter. You still got turkey left?Pohatu

Solaris: Pohatu eats too much. I should text him back.Meanwhile...Pohatu: Ooh, a text from Solaris. One attachment?PohatuPhone:

Hi, PohatuTRY MESolaris

Pohatu: [clicks on the TRY ME]PohatuPhone: [solaris's fist pops out of the screen and punches Pohatu in the face]Back to me...Solaris: Next hex't text, mex't, vex't... um... noun that rhymes with text... Can't think of any... no, I used 'em all up.Vezon: What about... no that's not a word.................. yeah you got 'em all.Solaris: Wait, what about.................... that's not a word, either.Phone: I'm just gonna go ahead, here.

Hi, Solly!How do you feel about baseball?

Solaris: First, don't call me Shirley. Soppy? Sally? Solly. Don't call me Solly. Second, baseball is boring.Phone:

Footbal?

Solaris: Waste of time.Phone:

Basketball?

Solaris: Puts me to sleep.Phone:

Hockey?!

Solaris: Can't find it on American TV, and if I did, I wouldn't watch it.Phone:

Soccer?!!

Solaris: I have better things to do.Phone:

Oh come on!Hugs and kisses, your worst enemy.

Solaris: I have a worst enemy?Vezon: Yeah. That'd be LULZ, the spammer king.Solaris: This was written by a spammer?Vezon: Nah, that was probably written by his secretary.Solaris: Next message.Phone:

Hey, SolarisHow can we see? It's still pitch black in here.MTL

Solaris: Oh yeah. That whole darkness thing is still here, but now it's irrelevant. Right Vezon? ............................ Where'd you go?Vezon: I'm on the left wall. I think. I just remembered I can't see.Solaris: Oh yeah... It's kinda dark in here, I guess... Where'd my phone go?Phone: [lights back up] Next message!

Solaris: Toa of Insanity,I believe this is an unauthorized "Ask" Comedy, and I'm gonna have to ask you to shut this project down.Moderator Bot C185B29N4836MOP43978YURMOM27859X

Solaris: Yeah, well, no.Phone: You have no more messages.Solaris: Oh. Will I have any messages next chapter.Phone: No.Vezon: How do you know?Solaris: Don't ask. He'll just give you a vague answer.Phone: I will look into that.Vezon: You better.Solaris: Don't argue with my phone, Vezon. Well, looks like it's time to close up shop. See ya next chapter. I guess.Vezon: This chapter was dedicated to Julius Caesar. RIP, man. We'll miss you.Axonn: OKAY, WHO'S MESSING WITH THE FOURTH WALL!Solaris: That would be Vezon.Axonn: You do that one more time and I will SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER.Vezon: Smash what?Solaris: It's just what he says. Running gags kinda don't form fit to every situation. Axonn says 'smash it with a hammer' when he's angry because he likes to break things.Vezon: Why is he guarding the Fourth Wall?Solaris: Helryx thought it would be funny.Vezon: Well she has a twisted sense of humor. And a body that won't quit. [purrs]Solaris: You got a thing for Helryx?Vezon: No way. She's my arch-nemesis. But by Makuta's backside, she's hot.Solaris: I'm kinda creeped out right now.Vezon: What. I hate that infernal Toa of Water and her beautiful eyes.Solaris: End the chapter, end the chapter, end the chapter, end the chapter, end the chapter, END THE CHAPTER!Narrator: Ask me nicely.Solaris: PLEASE!Narrator: Please what?Solaris: By Makuta's backside, man, END THE CHAPTER, PLEASE!Narrator: Okay.To be continued... I can make no promises...

[ManiacToaLaco]

Right, sorry I haven't been paying much atention for the past fews chapters, I've been, how you say, busy with school and Skyrim and such.So let's see here, the Toa (including the illustrious me) weren't able to save the boards from the staff, so know we're stuck in an Ask Comedy with the lights turned out. I don't know how gonna get out fo that. You'd need a Toa of light or something...

Vezon: Well she has a twisted sense of humor. And a body that won't quit. [purrs]Solaris: You got a thing for Helryx?Vezon: No way. She's my arch-nemesis. But by Makuta's backside, she's hot.Solaris: I'm kinda creeped out right now.Vezon: What. I hate that infernal Toa of Water and her beautiful eyes.

Now that right there, that's funny. Of course, considering I've never seen Herlyx, he may be completely justified. :PMTL