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The Nomads

Kikanalo Hippie Kikanalo

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#1 Offline Grantaire

Grantaire
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Posted Jul 08 2012 - 09:09 AM

The Nomads

Stone.Stone is beneath me, the first thing that reaches my intellect is the stone. My eyes blink, the morning light glaring. My claw traces the stone of the cave floor, I get to my feet, lumbering out. The canyon outside is bright with the morning and I inhale the air, snorting with pleasure. Similar sounds re-echo as my brothers and sisters begin to come out of their own small dwellings. No machine guides us, but that power inherent to our nature. We congregate together, offering greetings to each other, as we do every day. Little to no illwill threatens us, making life tranquilly happy. Banding together into a double file we leave the canyon. Next to me, a friend of mine moves, and we chat comfortably about nothing; small talk, it’s called, but satisfying. The desert is its usual sandy expanse, but unlike most dwellers on this island, we never see it as lifeless or as a threat. No, we see it as a challenge, and a home.Our destination is a large oasis, which we group around. Made by our ancestors long ago, the water is craftily divided into sections for bathing and sections for eating. The water is relaxing, with waves churned up by the impact of our large bodies. Splash wars occur at times, even though they’re technically outlawed; no one minds a little fun, a little un-ill fun. When our appetite for bathing is sated, we get out, settled down to drink of the water stored away, and eat of nearby plants. When our appetite for food is sated, we sprawl on the sand in contentment, letting the sun warm our armored backs.Some might think that our existence is dull, but I would disagree: some consider life without convenience crude, but I consider the opposite. Unbound by anything besides ourselves and the land, we have what is true freedom; the ability to live without bounds not naturally made. Treachery and jealousy are our capitol offenses, not robbery or murder. And they can be ended by forgiveness and love, not execution or imprisonment.We live as nomads, we live as freebeasts.We live, we live as Kikanalo.

Edited by Zarayna: The Quiet Light, Jul 17 2012 - 07:13 PM.

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#2 Online Nick Silverpen

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Posted Jul 08 2012 - 10:29 PM

With all you've reviewed of mine, figure I owe you one...;)That piece just kind of had the feeling of watching a sunrise. It does begin that way; I just feel that the entire piece is like watching them walking toward the sun. Very peaceful. Your style is calm and flows well, and the description has a unique sense to it. That comes from good word choice that you have here. I like this individual in the crowd theme here, just at peace being part of the group. The last paragraph makes for good things to think about; Matoran (and human) conviences just make a standard, for things to be done quicker and "higher quality" hope you understand that bit. Pretty short, sweet and to the point. Couldn't find any grammar, just that "dull" is used twice and too close together in the last paragraph. Well done!
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