Yep. 'nother one 'bout my sister.

Quick (and thankfully entertaining) backstory before the first quote.

We're in Florida and my dad brought along his newest toy to help us out: a Garmin GPS system. Never need a map again!

So it's suction-cupped to the windshield and warbling out directions, and my Dad says, "You know, I heard on the radio that some people love these things so much that they give them names and say they want to marry it or something, and you know I can sort of see... I mean, it is very useful, you know?"

So of course I insist that we have to name our GPS too, and my Dad picks "Jennifer."

So now we have five of us in the car, me, my sister, my Mom and Dad, and Jennifer.

So it's on, last day of our trip, I think, Thursday. We're driving back from MGM and my Mom says, you know, this was a very good vacation, we got a lot done.

And I say, "Well, it was all thanks to you and your organization." Because she actually wrote notecards for each park, planned schedules, came up with strategic uses for FastPasses, the whole nine yards.

And my Dad adds, "Jennifer helped a lot, too." Which is also true, she got us to the parks on time.

And my Mom jokingly says, "See! He's already fallen in love with another woman!"

Then my sister pipes up: "Jennifer, I'm gonna punch your face off!"

X. D.

'nother backstory for the next one.

My sister hangs around with boys at daycare, which I don't think is a good influence on her, especially her best friend, who is a standard five-year-old boy. And as everyone knows, the only thing a five-year-old boy is generally interested in talking about happens inside a bathroom, or involves something dirty like mud or bugs. Or the nose, that's a popular one.

You can imagine what my sister has been learning.

Now this one is a lot funnier if I use what she actually says, but potty humor rules and all, I'll use stand-ins.

I forget what the situation was but my sister says, "Hey, you [excretement]-head!"

And I say, "Oh, that's not nice."

And she says, "Okay. You [childish euphemism for excretement]-head!"

And I say, "No, that's still not polite. That's bad."

So she replies, "Okay, flower-head."

And this is one my Mom told me about. She was driving my sister to this activity she's in, but apparently it was cancelled so she drove back by a different-than-usual route.

My sister says, "Mommy, I think you're going the wrong way, I didn't ever see this place before, I think you should have brought Jennifer."

ROFL.