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A worried little musing about AS


Nikira

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Two blog entries in a month?

 

Dear god. SOMEONE CALL THE COPS

 

But anyways.

 

So this time next week I will apparently (hopefully) have a diagnosis of either Asperger's syndrome or PDD-NOS (atypical autism) along with an anxiety disorder that I can never catch the proper name of. This has been 3 and a half months of doctor visits and like years of awkward and mistakes and horribleness in the making and I am still not sure how to feel about it.

 

I mean, being autistic on any level doesn't change who I am or anything. I'm still me. But it's like... a question on everyone's mind of "why didn't we really take care of this sooner?" My sister especially. She worries about me often.

 

But yeah, that has been on my mind for a while. :( I am a boat floating forever on a sea of uncertainties and flaily useless panic. Glub.

 

(This has been a totally quality blog entry of worrying from Nik, you guys can move on now.)

 

-Nik

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Getting a late diagnosis can be frustrating, for sure, but the important thing is to remember that you're constantly learning about yourself and the diagnosis will help with that by helping you identify with people who have gone through many of the same struggles. And hopefully that will help you recognize how you've overcome those struggles, or how you can do so in the future.

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As an aspie myself, I'm willing to offer whatever support I can. My last college was a school specifically for students with learning disabilities, and while I was there I learned a lot about both the science of LD's and how to compensate for them, especially as it relates to educational or legal contexts. PM me if you want to talk.

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Aspies are awesome. I know because I am one. I agree entirely with you Samhain, it's not a disability, it is a set of different abilities. If you need another person to chat with, feel free to message me.

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Getting a late diagnosis can be frustrating, for sure, but the important thing is to remember that you're constantly learning about yourself and the diagnosis will help with that by helping you identify with people who have gone through many of the same struggles. And hopefully that will help you recognize how you've overcome those struggles, or how you can do so in the future.

 

Right. Regardless of what actual diagnosis I'm given in the end, I've got a good set of therapists to help me get started right now. Hopefully things will work out in the end.

 

As an aspie myself, I'm willing to offer whatever support I can. My last college was a school specifically for students with learning disabilities, and while I was there I learned a lot about both the science of LD's and how to compensate for them, especially as it relates to educational or legal contexts. PM me if you want to talk.

 

Educationally has been a trick for me for a while. I can do incredibly well with my studies, but I had to drop out of college because, especially my senior year, I was tripping so much over interactions with professors and other students that it severely impaired what I could manage. My senior studies became absolutely impossible because of that. Got a lot of comments that I was lazy or distracted or that I needed to be "more professional" in how I communicated verbally or met eye contact, and it kind of seemed that no matter how hard I tried I could never really do it successfully? And it's taken until now to realize that hey, maybe there was a reason for all that. But I still am not sure - just kind of waiting until I have an actual diagnosis otherwise it's just a giant guessing game.

 

I am an aspie too, though I do not see it as a disability personally (not to imply that you do). If you want to PM me about it as well, feel free, I am all ears.

Aspies are awesome. I know because I am one. I agree entirely with you Samhain, it's not a disability, it is a set of different abilities. If you need another person to chat with, feel free to message me.

 

Yeah, I've never viewed it as a disability of any sort, and that's not really what I'm worried about! It's just kind of new, for both myself and my family, and it's been kind of a rocky start just with screening. If it helps me learn why I am the way I am and be able to adapt accordingly, then hooray. But I'm just hoping that my family can be willing to learn right along with me.

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Wasn't aware of that. But I think it's more because my ability to communicate in general seems fine to a point, especially with words. I know I've learned my social cues decently if not awkwardly, I just have issues with most sarcasm/taking things far too seriously that aren't meant to be taken seriously, the rules of social give and take, etc.

 

But again, I'm not really going to assume anything means anything until I have an actual diagnosis in hand.

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Hugs and love for you, Deb. :) I'm really glad you're finally able to get diagnosed, and thus get relevant help! So proud of you for hanging in there and fighting so hard. You're so strong. You always have my prayers and love. :lovesign:

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Educationally has been a trick for me for a while. I can do incredibly well with my studies, but I had to drop out of college because, especially my senior year, I was tripping so much over interactions with professors and other students that it severely impaired what I could manage. My senior studies became absolutely impossible because of that. Got a lot of comments that I was lazy or distracted or that I needed to be "more professional" in how I communicated verbally or met eye contact, and it kind of seemed that no matter how hard I tried I could never really do it successfully? And it's taken until now to realize that hey, maybe there was a reason for all that. But I still am not sure - just kind of waiting until I have an actual diagnosis otherwise it's just a giant guessing game.

 

If you want to give college another go, I'd recommend Landmark College. That's where I went, and I learned a lot about interacting with professors, among other skills. They even have five-week programs for college students to receive a sort of crash course in managing an LD as a college student.

 

Also, maybe you'd find this useful?

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Getting back into college isn't the priority right now, but thank you nonetheless. Again, I don't even know if this is my particular problem. I'll know more next week.

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