6 - Darlene Conner

When I first saw an episode of Roseanne, I was instantly intrigued by Darlene Conner and I knew right away I wanted to watch all the seasons to see more of this character. Darlene isn't someone I'd date, but she's a remarkably real person. I've looked through many blogs to find that there are quite a few young women who found that her character resonated with them. Heck, she resonated with me as well.

She made sense. Roseanne was a great show, for a sitcom. The family relations were great and development of children over time was realistically chronicled. Given the family dynamic she lived it, I can see how her sarcastic, headstrong nature came about. She liked to pull off mean pranks at her sister's expense. No surprise, since Becky was so fun to prank, and her mother basically encouraged it because she had the same sense of humor. It happens all the time in families.

This aggressive behavior also came out in sports. She was a regular tomboy, again to contrast her sister. Tomboys are cool, but then something happened. She grew up. She became a teenager, and her social life began to change. She found that nobody could relate to her or understood who she was. I'm sure she herself didn't understand. Life's certainties and simplicities fell apart, and with it went some of her energy. Her hair grew unkempt, her voice softened, and she wore black and during a time of depression as seen in the main picture. The depression would eventually go away, although he hair would always stay unkempt and her sense of fashion was a bit rugged even for the 90's.

 

(90's fashion!)

Then, when I started watching the earlier seasons, there was Darlene's crowning moment, when she wrote and delivered what is one of my favorite poems.

 

 

To whom it concerns, Darlene's work will be late

 

It fell on her pancakes, and stuck to her plate

 

To whom it concerns, my mom made me write this

 

But I'm just a kid, so how can I fight this?

 

To whom it concerns, I lost my assignment

 

Maybe I'll get lucky: solitary confinement

 

To whom it concerns, Darlene's great with a ball

 

But guys don't watch tomboys when they're cruising the hall

 

To whom it concerns, I just turned thirteen

 

Too short to be quarterback, too plain to be queen

 

To whom it concerns, I'm not made of steel

 

When I get blindsided my pain is quite real

 

I don't mean to squawk, but it really burns

 

Just thought I'd mention it, to whom it concerns.

So on the surface she appeared to only be a tough and independent kid, but I recognized right away that there was something far deeper to her. She'd be hard-pressed to admit it, but her sadness is authentic, and her terrific one-liners stand out from those of other deadpan snarkers in literature when you can appreciate the depths of the person who's saying them.

Her interests went from sports, taking after her father, to her own creative pursuits such as comic books. I was never totally sold that she found herself, but I wasn't surprised during the growing pains of her teenage years her scales tipped to dominance in the right brain. For the rest of the show she still found ways to be socially aggressive, though, and she bullied her eventual boyfriend David to no end.

Darlene is a fascinating person, though fortunately I can observe her through the objective lens of the fourth wall. A person like this in real life might set me off and prevent me from getting to know her. Roseanne simulated that experience the best way it could by creating one of the most psychologically realistic characters ever that includes in her the facets what we normally keep hidden.