Slightly related, my Statistics teacher in college wore black suits to every test he gave.

His reasoning?

"Well, I always wear black suits to a funeral".

I would pay the full price for textbooks if they were leather-bound (and you're not sure what kind of leather it is, but it ain't cow) and full of tentacles and drove you mad from the revelation. It doesn't even need to take me to Apocrypha, so long as the text moves in eerie ways across the page as I read it, puncturing my mind with deep knowledge that mortals were never meant to know.

I've read many excellent things today, but nothing quite so perfect and true.