Sounds like actual serious clinical diagnosable depression.

Your friend could maybe use some therapy?

He actually has been going to a therapist for about a year now, and he's been on and off antidepressants, which is why I've stuck it out for three years. The problem, without getting into too much detail, is that he's in two abusive relationships, and in spite of the fact that everyone - including his therapist - other than those two people have tried to convince him he needs to sever ties with them, and a lot of those amongst him who actually have their own house/apartment/etc. have offered to take him in until he finds a place of his own, he refuses to leave them. I've been telling him to find another place to live for about two years now, and offered to help him find a place, but he doesn't want to leave.

It's not like he's dependent on them either, he's 21 with an engineering degree and a job. But he still refuses to end the abusive relationship

It can be very difficult to cheer someone up who's depressed. I personally rarely appreciate any emotional consolation when I myself am in that state. And if it's serious, clinically diagnosible depression, I honestly can't fault the other person. Because I know and I've been there, and it's incredibly difficult to have faith in anything that promises to help solve the problem.

As for abusive relationships, wow. I've been there. And truthfully, those can sometimes be difficult to get out of. The hardest part for me is that I, too, know people who are in abusive relationships but there's no way they're going to listen to me if I tell them that (the relationships aren't necessarily emotionally abusive, but there's still a lot of manipulation going on). In fact, if I criticized the manipulators involved in these relationships, my friends would probably defend them and become more loyal to the relationship. It's not so much the "Did you try Y?" rinse-wash-and-repeat scenario that grinds my gears so much as it is that people I care about are being manipulated and it crushes me that I can't help them without hurting them even further.

I say that it's okay to give a dysfunctional relationship a chance. Abusive relationships aren't real relationships in the first place, so they're not worth it.

But anyway, yes, that definitely sucks. I honestly have no Y to advise you with to help you with this X. Being a good listener sounds a little cliched, but that's the best I have on me.

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