Inspired by Wysp. This is the satirical aspect, and I'm considering posting a serious one in a later blog entry. But for now, I'm going to make fun of the environment I so greatly enjoy.

Now, many of you browse the RPG Forum, and want to post, but you just don't know how. How do you appeal to someone? How do you fight properly? How do you start a group? All pressing questions, all answered here! Good citizens of BionicleRPGForumville, I'm here to show you How To Be A Good RPer! Being much more extensive than my other How To's, this will be done in segments. First, let's work on...

~Character Creation~

• When creating a character, it is vital to come up with a great name, because honestly, who wants to save the world with a partner whose name is Fattythums? When choosing name, there are a few things to consider.

   

  -Description of your character. Why not let those who don't know you in on what your character is like through your name? Look at LEGO. Axonn carries an ax. Brutaka is brutal. Roodaka is rude. Makuta is koola' than you. Let's go through a few examples on what gives the right impression and what gives the wrong impression.

  Examples:

   

  Bumbsi: Gives the impression of an obese, clumsy Bambi.

  Froopers: "Toa of Breakfast Cereals" comes to mind.

  Johnlennoneria: This is Bionicle, not Great Britain!

  Guud: Getting there...not bad...

  Awesum: Awesome.

  Superpoweredturbonia: Oh, we're cookin' now!

   

   

  -Easy to remember. Names like Tahu have no pattern and are difficult to remember. However, try a name like Qpalzmwoskxn. It's a simple pattern of going to the left of the keyboard, to the right, down, left, right, down, until you reach the third column in which you switch back to the right again. Easy, huh?

   

  -Cool letters. There are reasons why you don't see Bobs in the Bionicle universe. Take virtually any name and throw in a cool letter. Cool letters include Z, K, X, V, and Q. Let's take a simple name and make some changes. You might find this hard at first, but there's one simple philosophy that LEGO and RPers everywhere have been following for years. When in doubt, USE THE K.

  Example:

   

  Not cool -> Lenny

  Kinda cool -> Lenky

  Mostly cool -> Lekky

  Cool -> Lekkk

  Awesome -> Lkkkk

  OMG -> Kkkkk

   

  -A cool tagline. Now, while Kkkkk (Oh, man) is an awesome name in and of itself, it does get a little boring to just be yelling "Kkkkk!" all the time. So let's add a cool tag.

  Example:

   

  Okay -> Kkkkk

  Good -> Toa Kkkkk

  Great -> Supreme Toa Kkkkk

  Awesome -> Supreme Toa Kkkkk Master of All

  WHOA, NELLY -> Mr. Supreme Toa Kkkkk Master of All

   

• Next, you need to focus on your species. Nowadays, everybody wants to be a Toa or a Matoran. Don't take any of that unoriginal conformism. Be original! For the originality-impaired, however, there is what we call subtle plagiarism borrowing. Simply take a species and change the name and aspects to your liking.

  Example:

   

  Gross -> Fire Toa: Red and orange, humanoid, powers of fire, about 6-foot.

  Hmm... -> Firetoa: Red and turquoise, humanoidish, powers of fire, about 6-foot.

  Getting there -> Eriftoa: Turqoise and plaid, ape-like, powers of combustion, about 6-foot 5.

  Almost -> Erifto: Turqoise and plaid, reptillian ape, powers of combustion engines, about 7-foot.

  Sweet -> Eriftoz: Plaid, reptillian ape with wings, powers of nuclear weapons, 20 feet tall.

   

• Once that's done, you need to figure out the full extent of your powers. You don't want to go out there looking like a weakling? You aren't going to let those bigshots with their own guilds and organizations trample you! Nope. You want to come out looking like a football star...only with superpowers and stuff.

  Example:

   

  Meh -> Power of fire

  Hm -> Power of heat

  Close -> Power of light

  Yeah! -> Power of lightsabers

   

• With that done, you need to write your biography. Of course, you need to give your character a complex history. If you don't, nobody's going to bother with him. Make sure it's as deep, twisted, and complicated as possible.

  Example: Kkkkk was born and raised in Utahia on the island of USA-Nui, where he got super powers from a crystal of amazing energy. He went to Metru Nui and changed his name to Mr. Supreme Eriftoz Kkkkk Master of All, and now goes around killing everything.

There you have it! A perfect profile!

Come back next time for the next installment:

How to Write a Good RP Post!

Satirically,

Dr. Bionicle