I truly feel alone in this world. Like only the friends I had before could understand me, but my new friends that have better luck than I do. They think the idea of a bad day is having a friend mad at you or their mom won't bring them to the mall or another friend's house.

My idea of a bad day is listen to my dad being a hypocrite and having massive flashbacks.

My father loves me, but he doesn't understand the pain he put my mom and my sister. (More on that when I can take typng it up)

Unfortunately, I need money for myself, and he offered me a job as a Handyman. I accept it, and now from Monday-Friday, from morning 'til evening, he picks me up and drops me off at home. I get 8 bucks an hour, work about 8 hours a day(I don't choose hours), and I leave my house around 8 AM.

He thinks he had it harder. He doesn't realize the days of my mom crying every night alone in her bed, the times I wanted to destroy everything in my room, or my sister breaking down in tears.

He left us for another family. A woman from our old church and her two sons. Her last husband died in a construction accident. Crushed by concrete.

He now lives in a small city not far from us in an apartment with her, and the two boys. One is 2 years old, and the other 10 or so.

And the amount of sorrow they have faced in the past should never justify what the woman did to us.

She brought it all to us.

I'd rather have my dad dead than have him reject us in a snap.