And now we come to one of my favorite subjects: Bi-directional Temporal Movement, or, for those who don't have a thesaurus wedged between their ears, Time Travel. It's been a staple of Sci-Fi almost as long as extraterrestrials, and probably has just as many stories surrounding it. Personally, I wish I could make a time machine, then go back and see who came up with the idea.

One thing I find surprising about time travel-- It's an excellent plot device, but nobody seems to use it! Only once in a blue moon does a good time travel story pop up, and when one does, it becomes an instant classic. Case and Point: Back to the Future. It's easily one of the best movie series I've ever seen, and... no, that just about sums it up. It did everything right, especially with the time travelling, except for one little detail I'll get to later.

I could also use The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time as an example, but by my definition, it's not technically time travel. Sure, you DO travel through time, but-- unlike just about every other time travel epic out there, the main character doesn't retain his age when he travels through time. That's the key there. That's what makes it different.

On the note of retaining your age when you travel through time, I've found a wierd phenomenon that is a serious hinderance to time travellers: While you can go back and forth across the fourth dimension (a.k.a. Time) theoretically for eternity, your body works on its own pace, and, after a few decades, you'll find yourself much older than when you started out, thus making it possible (even likely) that a time traveller could die before they were ever born! It's wierd...

Time travel has all kinds of wierd phenomena attached to it. One of my favorites is what I call the "Temporal Information Loop". Here's how it goes: You have two people, A and B, and 2 Time periods, 1 and 2. in Time 1, person A (who has travelled back in time) teaches person B something, say, how to fix a time machine. Between Time 1 and 2, Person B tells Person A (before he travels back in time) how to fix the time machine. Go forward to Time 2, when Person A goes back in time to Time 1 with the information he learned from Person B, and teaches it to the past self of Person B. Therefore, the question must be asked: Who taught who the information? The Answer: Nobody. That's the wierd part about the Temporal Information Loop; there is no creation of the information, so... nobody thought it up.

That's about the simplest it can be explained. If you're confused, watch the last 2 episodes of Star Trek, the Next Generation. That's where I first experienced this.

There's also another phenomenon within Time Travel, which I found on a certain online encyclopedia, that I find fascinating, and it works very much like the Temporal Information Loop, but takes it to the next level. Here's how it goes: A guy has a serious grudge against one of his ancestors (in this case, his grandfather), and goes back in time, coincidentally, before his father was born, and kills his grandfather. Here's where time travel messes things up. Since he killed his grandfather before his father was born, he could never be born, so he couldn't have gone back in time to kill his grandfather, which inevitably means he was born, which means... that this phenomenon could go on for eternity like this. In short, unless you want the entire cosmos to unravel itself, avoid this situation.

However, there's one recurring theme in many time travel epics that I dislike: The "Bad Future". You see it in Back to the Future, Ocarina of Time Star Trek: First Contact, even Meet the Robinsons, and in every case, provides a strong motivation for the main hero to accomplish whatever time-travelling task he has to take on. There's just one problem with the Bad Future: It can't happen. Here's why: Since, in all of these Time Travel epics, the hero inevitably goes back in time to fix the problem, the Bad Future disappears into the void, leaving one question: If the problem that created the Bad Future was solved in the end, how could the Bad Future exist in the first place? It's one of the very small number of phenomenon in Time Travel that repeatedly is used, despite its impossibility. Somehow, though, we all seem to believe it as it's happening.

I'll bet you're wishing you had a time machine right now, so you could go back and actually read all of this, aren't you?

And now for something completely different: a Game Review! This chapter, the game fits in with the theme: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

NOTE: This review is based on the Gamecube port of the game, specifically, the version that also comes with the Master Quest. As far as I'm concerned, the only noticeable differences are the colors of the button icons.

Graphics: 9.7/10: These are simply some of the best graphics I've ever seen. Only rarely does anything seem out of place or primitive, expecially when you consider that some of its competion had the power the the 128-bit Dreamcast behind it. The character modelling is superb, and the environments are some of the best I've ever seen. The textures sometimes seem oversized and blurry, but that's minor. My only other dislike is the way they made the bushes, since they look like cardboard cutouts. Other than that, I'm thoroughly impressed with the graphics. One thing I found most surprising though: They actually seem to get better with time, as the game looks better now than when I first started playing it.

Music: 9.9/10: Excellent, and just a hair shy of perfect. The soundtrack pretty much speaks for itself here, and goes far beyond anything previously seen in a Zelda game, not to mention just about every video game before it. The sounds may have been synthesized, but that's not even worth deducting a tenth of a point off. Many of the songs are extremely memorable, and fit the environments like a glove. My one and only complaint about the entire soundtrack is that there were only a tiny handful of remixes outside of itself, being Kakariko Village, Zelda's Theme and Ganondorf's Monologue (those were the only three I noticed), but that's extremely minor, and only worth that tenth of a point deducted. Also, a bit of trivia: Nowhere in the entire game is the Legend of Zelda Theme (The original Overworld) found. Thankfully, the Gamecube version has that on the main menu screen.

Gameplay: 9.8/10: Superb, definitely superb. This game sets the standard for the 3-D adventure game much like the original Legend of Zelda set its own 2-D standard. The physics are excellent, the combat brutal, and the puzzles mind-boggling. It all comes together wonderously. No item goes without some use at one point or another, except a few masks, which are just there for fun anyway. The bosses are challenging, moreso than some of the more recent bosses, and really make you think. The side-quests are excellent and plentiful, and will keep you busy for hours beyond the main gameplay. Again, there is only one minor thing keeping it from a perfect 10: It has a few little bugs. Thankfully, they're largely avoidable, though can still get a bit annoying.

Story: 9.7/10: I'll just get to the negative first: It uses the old cliche of Adventure Games: You have to get stuff... as the primary goal of the game. But, like everything else, that's just minor. The actual story portions are amazing, and work extremely well, despite Link's status as a Silent Hero. The cinematic sequences are excellent, and tell the story superbly. The characters who actually do speak show their characters quite well, and each one has their own motivation and methods of achieving their goals. This is by far one of the best stories yet told in a video game.

Overall: 9.8/10: This is by far an excellent game, and all the hype and legacy attached to it are as close to the truth of the game as you can get. If you're a serious gamer and don't own this game yet, do so with all due haste! The only question remaining with this game is this: Why, oh why have they not re-released it on the DS? If they would just do that, I would be all over it like a bad itch.

And now for something completely different: A quote from one of the most obnoxious fictional mega-fans in existence. Whoever can guess it gets... 1,000 points.

Omigoshomigoshomigosh! It'syouit'syouit'syou!