Insomnia. Whatever depraved, unholy creature invented this travesty against mankind, I curse it. I sit here, at 4:40 AM EST, having not slept in over a day, posting an otherwise irrelevent post in a temporarily blog that few will read. My eyes burn as though the contents of an entire salt-mine had been poured into them, and I have ingested two bottles of Vault and half a gallon of chocolate milk. One question arose in my mind, as I sat and watched my shiny, newly completed "Stargate SG-1" DVD collection:

Why? Why is it that I have the primal, nocturnal urge to sit around on a couch, watching "Scorched Earth" for the ten-trillionth time, instead of doing something more useful like sleeping. What dark monstrosity lurks in the bowels of my mind, cackling as he pulls the various switches to make me do such odd, nerdy and unhealthy things? I fear my poor little heart may burst from the sheer amount of caffine I have ingested over the past week.

Then I see Colonel Jack O'Neill jump, in full glory, upon my father's plasma screen. He says something about having no choice but to blow the alien Genesis ship up, as it threatens the lives of those he had saved. Everyone whines, of course, but O'Neill, being a master of all things cool, asks for an alternative solution.

There is none. So he tells Major Carter to rig the highly powerful Nasquadah reactor to explode.

It is at this point, that I realize how awesome the Stargate Program would be, and how sweet international politics would be after that. Everyone whines to the US that they deserve the advanced Alien technology being discovered, too. I silently curse the world, as they, being lazy, didn't risk their lives to go get it.

The Russians, however, get a shiny battlecruiser for their help. If it wasn't for their spectacular mess-ups in their own Stargate Program, the show would have ended a few seasons earlier. They even have thier own SG team. THis makes me happy, as they are working hard for their Alien Technology. Even Canada helps! They lend a rather annoying scientist who, at best, annoys Samantha Carter with his snobbish and "holier-then-thou-American" attitude. Wheeeeeeee! International politics. I get a creepy feeling and rub my spine. Nope. No Goa'Uld yet. Though it would be nice to be:

KHONSHU! GOA'ULD SYSTEM LORD OF VENGENCE!

Then I realize, my crazy, MPD-suffering namesake Marc Spector, serves a snakey thing that burrowed into a guy's spine. This throughly disgusts me, but the idea of a snaky-thing bursting from faceless Bushman and launching itself at my Alabaster super-powered friend is just too funny to ignore, and I silently chuckle to myself as Daniel Jackson whines about "alternate choices". Blow up the ship already! Carbon-Supremacy! Hoo-YAH! *Kicks a rock*

Eat that Silicon or Sulfer-based life! Carbon is superior! We are made of meeeeeeat!

Now, I silently wonder to myself, as I watch a massive ship incinerate a load of trees for no better reason then to make the entire planet habitable for the extinct "peace-loving" race of losers whose genetic material happens to be stored on board, why I haven't gone to sleep. My cognitive abilities seem to be impared, and I can't remember, for the life of me, what caused me to segway into those various topics.

The answer to my question, is simple. The end of the episode. Compromise! Wheeeee! Robot guy is gonna fly all the freaky, easily-blinded aliens off to their original homeworld, where they'll face a dreadfully long, drawn out, and possibly rascist reintegration into their old society.

And now, as the robot decides to stay with the people he was made to emulate and the credits roll, I prepare to wander up to my dark layer, swing into bed, and tick my dad off because I wake up at three in the afternoon. My mind goes to the moral of the story, as I finish typing this blog entry. What was it all about? Why was O'Neill so livid in this episode? What's the bottom line.

It comes to my mind with the last, slowed keystrokes of an Insomniac, ending his eternal ravings for at least that night.

I love Stargate SG-1.

And Sulfur-based lifeforms, are laem.

Goodnight.