I don't consider this a great year for movies. I admit it. Hardly anything PG or below has really impressed me (save Ratatouille) and most everything PG13 or above is too disgusting, too gory, too sketchy, too controversial, too weird, or too stupid. Throughout the course of the year, I've watched quite a number of movies (some at the theaters, some not) and I've got to say that each one left me with a pretty strong opinion.

So, in case you're thinking of hitting your local movie theater (or video rental store), then I'm going to be posting quite a few little entry reviews. I don't know how great they are, but anyway, let's begin.

The Fountain

Rating: PG13

This one sprung to mind first because I had seen a preview for this and understood absolutely nothing about it. Something like a year later, my buddy Ryan got some people together to watch it. Let me just say that this movie is utterly confusing beyond belief.

As it turns out, the main character is a guy named Tommy (Hugh Jackman) who in the "real world" (you may or may not understand why I make that clear in a moment) is a doctor in search of a cure for brain tumors. At a point in the story, there is a formula he throws together which restores the test subject (a monkey) to a perfectly healthy state and (although over a great course of time) causes the tumor to dissipate. However, since the tumor healing doesn't happen immediately, he gives up the formula and turns to other things.

He has a wife, Isabel, who is very carefree (and if I may say so, odd) that is a writer. She is extremely interested in the culture of, I believe, the Aztecs, which compels her to write a book called The Fountain.

This book (and whatever else is going on inside that weird little head of hers) has caused her to greatly contemplate the concept of death, which is the basic idea behind her book. Interestingly enough, as she develops this fascination, she suddenly starts to experience symptoms of some sort (loss of temperature sense, for instance) and eventually is rushed to the ER, where she is diagnosed with a brain tumor.

This is the part where you might want to be careful...

Two other weird little subplots run beneath this. One is the plot of Isabel's book, where Hugh Jackman and Racheal Weisz (Isabel) are portrayed as a Spanish knight and the Queen of Spain. Jackman is sent out on a quest to find the Fountain of Youth among a nation of Aztecs.

Another is particularly odd. Some guy (Hugh Jackman again) is floating through this bubble traveling through space that suspends the Tree of Life in it. The two appear to be in harmony with one another, the man drinking the tree's sap, and the Tree patiently waiting to reach their destination. However, the Tree keeps giving him these hallucinations of Tommy's life.

If this was the worst plot summary you've ever read, there's a very good reason for that: this movie is so darned confusing that you can hardly summarize it. While the novel and reality plots run together fairly smoothly, the third of these stories is just downright confusing, despite any and all efforts to explain it within the movie.

The movie starts with the second story, with the knight battling Aztecs. We reach a point of climax in the second story, within the first fifteen minutes, where the Aztec "chief" is about to sacrifice the knight. It is then that the third Hugh Jackman (in the bubble) "wakes up from his "dream" and gives us no explanation of the connection. Next we suddenly go to a flashback of Tommy's life. The procedure of moving from the abstract story to Tommy's life is one that is well-done and nicely timed, but it quickly becomes confused by the flashes to the book and the third story.

In my opinion, the third story is completely unnecessary, and if it were ditched the whole film would be better off for it. It confuses the audience, which is intriguing at first, but quickly becomes stale as we keep anticipating an explanation. When the movie ends, the plot hole that is left behind is big enough to drive a truck through. While it may bring about some stimulating conversation, it's any wonder this movie ever got picked up.

I will say that Jackman does a handsome job of portraying the knight and Tommy in this movie. It's challenging for any actor to play different roles, especially with lapses of difference that large, but Jackman pulls it off quite well. The Spanish Knight and Tommy are two very different characters, and they are made to seem that way. Only by comparing the two do you realize it is meant to be the same person. The third person (bubble man) is done as nicely as I think it could be. With the complexity of the other two characters, the third is disappointing in Jackman's performance, simply because it's not a believable or interesting character.

Weisz really dwarfs beneath Jackman's performance. Her portrayal of the Queen is well-done, but the way she represents Isabel puts me off because she was simply so strange. Much of this had to do with the character itself, but Weisz just seems to distance the audience, like she doesn't want you to know what's going on inside her head (meanwhile, Jackman is opening up his noggin and turning on a floodlight).

Overall, this movie is far too abstract for its own good. Jackman does what he can with his roles, but the story simply suffers because it is not well-thought out, or so it seems. As far as cinematography goes, it was a fair movie, with some great audio effects. However, it simply doesn't have any clicking or "Aha!" moments that make movies of this sort satisfying. It's a story that appears to be written without a conclusion.

(Side note: There is a sketchy, sketchy scene that basically hits the PG13 rating for the movie somewhere near the beginning. Just be warned.)

Anyway, that's it.

Critically,

Dr. Bionicle