Way back in ’07.

It was the year o’ the Kumquat revolts,

Starting in Paris, France.

Some say it started in the fryer, others say the Eiffel Tower,

I however know the truth, it happened in the Belfry.

They just jumped up in May, and attacked Brother Ray.

He screamed for help, but soon went silent as his dear old mother.

They ran out the door, and down the steps, running down some tourists.

As they went out to the street, they broke another’s wrists.

Oh what a terrible sight to see,

I’d never wish it on another.

The Kumquats, they were everywhere, breaking down all the office doors,

And ran down the peddlers.

After all this, the army came, and they fought a losing battle.

But after hours of fightin’ they turned the tides,

And brought out the Kumquat cannons.

These were mighty, and fought well, blowing ‘em to smithereens,

With nothin’ left to tell of.

Two days later, the city was gone, and not a Kumquat left,

Where they went, and where they are,

To this day remains a mystery to all but one. Me.

I know where they went,

And I know where they are,

But for this planets safety, I’m not tellin’.