Today went off well. Aside from my teacher repeatedly and seriously telling me and y friend that we suck (we weren't doing our work because our brains were on sleep mode as you can say) it was fine.

I come home at 4:30 PM after getting off the late bus. I didn't bring my cell phone because I'm not accustomed to it yet. Mom and sister were a bit annoyed wondering where I was.

The day went on, I've beaten the first Kingdom Hearts using a walkthrough a couple days ago and have moved on to Kingdom Hearts 2. Played that for an hour or two (could be three?) as I didn't have any homework. Quite an entertaining game might I say.

Around 9 o'clock, my mother and I decide to watch The Bourne Ultimatum and I say good movie.

After brushing my teeth, I step out the bathroom door. I give my mom a hug and a kiss as notice that she's about to cry. Obvisously I'm curious as to why but didn't ask because for all I knew, she did this every night.

I'm shutting off the lights in our apartment and was about to say good night to my sister.

She calls me over.

On the internet, there is this Brazilian Web Profile Site, and on it was a picture of my sister's friend's church all together taking pictures.

Then I see my father.

Then I see the 9-year-old boy.

Then I see the woman he left us for.

With his arm around her.

My sister has watery eyes.

I know my mom is crying right now.

Yet why do I have little emotion? I am emotionally stronger?

I have been through the same battles, I have been through the same pain. I've cried in bed praying to God for things to get better.

But right now, I feel some anger, some disappointment.

But I do not know why I have no true emotions flowing. That is why my anger is rising, becaue I can't cry with them. I feel like a monster. I feel like a beast.

I feel ashamed of my existance.