Okay, so for my contest, "Macs vs. PCs: the Showdown," Quite a few fine weapons were produced. Here's a list:

Macs:

-Chuck Norris

-Incomparable Suaveness

-Alt Key

PCs:

-Death Star

-Nuke

-Mantax

-God

-Dark Matter generator

-Ctrl-Z

Linux:

-Flying Toasters

-Chuck Norris with a Katana

So, Chuck Norris, another Chuck Norris (with a Katana), and Mantax all fight, but because the twin Norris has a sword, he wins. Chuck the first and Mantax are eliminated.

Macs:

-Chuck Norris

-Incomparable Suaveness

-Alt Key

PCs:

-Death Star

-Nuke

-Mantax

-God

-Dark Matter generator

-Ctrl-Z

Linux:

-Flying Toasters

-Chuck Norris with a Katana

Next, the Alt and Ctrl-Z keys fight it out. Alt creates an Apple logo, but Ctrl-Z undoes it. This process continues until the keys destroy each other.

Macs:

-Chuck Norris

-Incomparable Suaveness

-Alt Key

PCs:

-Death Star

-Nuke

-Mantax

-God

-Dark Matter generator

-Ctrl-Z

Linux:

-Flying Toasters

-Chuck Norris with a Katana

PC sends forth their next supernatural being, God, as Linux puts forth Chuck the second again. These two battle it out, but ultimately, a tired Norris meets his maker. God is exhausted, and decides he'd rather be back in heaven , so he leaves.

Macs:

-Chuck Norris

-Incomparable Suaveness

-Alt Key

PCs:

-Death Star

-Nuke

-Mantax

-God

-Dark Matter generator

-Ctrl-Z

Linux:

-Flying Toasters

-Chuck Norris with a Katana

The Macs have only one weapon left: incomparable suaveness. Sensing a weakness, the PCs and their strong arsenal of Super-weapons try to take on Apple. However, as Incomparable suaveness isn't tangible, the Nuke and Death star can't to blow it up. The nuke tries, but explodes on thin air. Then, the Death Star sees the uselessness of the entire war and just goes back to a Long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Macs:

-Chuck Norris

-Incomparable Suaveness

-Alt Key

PCs:

-Death Star

-Nuke

-Mantax

-God

-Dark Matter generator

-Ctrl-Z

Linux:

-Flying Toasters

-Chuck Norris with a Katana

The PCs still have a trick up their sleeve, though. They bring forth the Dark Matter generator, which promptly sucks Incomparable suaveness out of existence with a black hole. The Macs are out of it.

Macs:

-Chuck Norris

-Incomparable Suaveness

-Alt Key

PCs:

-Death Star

-Nuke

-Mantax

-God

-Dark Matter generator

-Ctrl-Z

Linux:

-Flying Toasters

-Chuck Norris with a Katana

During the battle between PCs and Macs, Linux grew a secret weapon: Beards. They then rally forth against the PCs with an armada of toasters, which put up a fight, but are ultimately destroyed.

Macs:

-Chuck Norris

-Incomparable Suaveness

-Alt Key

PCs:

-Death Star

-Nuke

-Mantax

-God

-Dark Matter generator

-Ctrl-Z

Linux:

-Beards

-Flying Toasters

-Chuck Norris with a Katana

It's all come down to this: Beards vs. a Dark Matter generator. An epic battle ensues, in which neither combatant can gain ground. But, like many other electric things, the generator is battery powered. After almost ceaseless use, the Dark Matter Generator dies. Linux is Victorious!

-Nuju Metru