Here it is. This is how it plumeted. From a nice thing. To a swirling black hole of sadness and anger. This will be a long entry. Discussing many things. Let's get started.

Just let me say, I went through 3 cell phones in this time. Also, texts got deleted. I'm just going to tell you what I remember.

October 29th 2:40 PM

It was 3 days after I told her how I felt. We never said anything to each other. I texted her saying, if she did not like me, why was it so hard for her to talk to me. The whole reason I did this was the hope that she would correct me that she DID like me in some way.

At about 6:00 PM she said that she didn't like me. She said she didn't find me attractive. I was getting really emotional. We had an argument. She said that she hasn't liked me this entire time and that she thought it was obvious.

I went to bed at 7:30 that night. I felt horrible. The next day, I didn't talk. My parents thought I was going to... hurt myself. As the day went on I got better. I felt incerdibly confused.

In the next couple of days, I texted saying I was sorry about being rude. She said it was fine. I just wanted to make peace withher because Brent was still hanging out with her (But since November, he's come back) and if something came up... you know. I didn't want it to be wierd.

Now between this next event, my screen on my phone got broken, so I got a new Motorola Razr.

Remember that movie I made, Brawl vs. the Autobots? I made that the weekend after this started and that field trip. Well... when I made that movie I was thinking about her and welll... I thought... I better... "Let it out".

About two weeks after the last "Event"

Hi Amanda. Its michael again. You probably sick of me, but even though you don't like me, there is still one thing I want you to see/show you. I made this 9 months ago (actually the weekend after I said I liked you) So it's very old. Here *YOU*UBE ADRESS*. Just (try to) copy that into your adress box on your computer. If you think it's wierd/stupid, keep it to yourself. I don't want rumors of "Michael the Retard" going around school.

Why don'y just tell me what to look up so it's easier

*Explains how to get to my profile*

What's it called?

Ugh... Brawl vs. the Autobots.

What does thisw have to do with me at all?

That's not what I meant at all. It was just made with the thought of you.

Why did you want me to see that?

I just wanted you to see it. That's all. Though there is something (kinda) about you. It's a MV called The Older I Get. It's the song. Not the video.

I don't really remember what happened next. I just was messaging her about if she hated it/thought it was stupid, And to keep this whole incident to herself. The next day, I had plans to go to Brent's house. Then she messages me at about 10 in the morning:

Macayla (the girl that was at BWW) saw and bryce (that kid who "dislikes me") They were there with me.

Well have fun making inside jokes .

OMG, you sometime act so stupid and retarded. We weren't gonna do that!

Sorry. It's just that my brain thinks that anything I do involving you makes me look like more of a retard in your eyes. *And other junk I can't remember...*

Lol. I liked Brent's bday (a video I made compiling all of the videos I made a Brent's Birthday party.)

You do know what was in those censor sounds right *us saying her name and that I liked her in the middle of the night* Anyway, anyon'e who has seen sais that the Boelin With Project spoof was the best part lol.

After I got to Bent's house (and played Call of Duty 4 ) She mesages me back:

I didn't see the whole thing. Macayla made me stop. And I don't get why you like me. I really don't think I'm that pretty (when Bren't saw this he said, "Aw, low self esteem "). There are a lot more beutiful girls at school.

I can't really remember, but I sent her a giant text explaining why I've liked her over the months. And that there were other girls I KINDA liked (ha ha ha... LIAR!).

K

...Really

You need a girlfriend

*Brent sends* Will you be my girlfriend?

No thanks. I heve my eye on someone else. You need someone else to be your girlfriend.

*Then Brent admits that he sent it*

One last thing: did you think that movie was stupid?

Which one?

Which ones did you watch?

I don't know. I guess the ones I watched were Ok.

Really?

Ya...

Later that night:

Wait, is the guy you mean, Sam (Like you said last year?). Because, not to dissapoint you, but he's already going out with 5 other people.

HECK no. I move on so fast.

Good for you.

Was that sarcastic? I think it was.

No, why would it be sarcastic?

I don't know. About the Sam thing, I've already dated 2 people this year already.

for how long?

One of a week and the other for five days.

I've had a couple of people ask me out this year. But it always ends up that the people who like me/asked me out are either a freak or 1/2 my size.

Ok guys. I haven't been... completely truthful with you. Last year (when I asked her out) she said she liked somebody else... that was 8 months ago.

A couple of days later, I texted her saying that I lied and that I don't like anybody else. I told her thatI looked around, and ther'e no one else I find attractive. And that I don't like the people who like me.

Twice, after school, I had the erge to have a conversation with her about ANYTHING. So just texted her saying "What's Up" twice (They were a week apart). Then, I texted saying that I kinda lied about "I like other people". The day after I said that, I just looked and thought about the people I "liked" and realized that... I didn't really like them. I looked at other people too.

So, yeah. I was basically saying: I do not currently like ANYONE in the 7th grade except her.

Anyway, she never replied to any of the messages. I tried one night and said (exactly):

I don't know if you just can't get to your phone or if you are ignoring me but... Ok, I think I was going the wrong way with that. It's just that I can't just "forget" about this thing with you. You are like EVERYWHERE I go (not literally) I just "see" you in other people. And about those "sup" messages... I just did those because I just wanted to talk to you. :[ Sorry. As I said before, If you think I'm annoying... just TELL me. Please. Hopefully you got my message about the liking think. /:[

A couple days later she said that she's been getting my messages. I said that maybe if we talked in person, it can make things better. She kept saying it would be wierd and that she didn't want to "force talk" to someone. She most likely thought I was going to talk to her about random stuff.

Nothing happened for about a week. Just let me tell something... that sounds really stupid.

I love music. I listen to it all the time. There are songs that are BOUND to make me think of her. Some of them make me think of her because of the time I first listened to the song or when I frequently listened to the song. Some songs made me think of her because of the lyrics. Some were just for the rythm.

I knew that if I kept these songs to myself and listened to all of them, it'd make me feel worse. So I had an idea.

First off, let me say, this plan was meant for me and her to talk in private. Actually meeting. Talking. Anyway...

I had a plan. A gift. I wanted to give her a CD of these songs. Nothing really nessicerilly (sp) bad happened recntly before then. On Thanksgiving weekend, I started. It took me about 3 hours to make. Burning about 4 Cds with all of these songs and typing out this little booklet with the song names and why thay made me think of her. It took A LOT of thought.

So that Monday, I waited near her locker. I wasn't really afraid because (at that moment) she'd never shown rude signs to me in person. Just the usual "curious looks". She never came. Not on Monday, Not on Tuesday. Not on Wednesday. Good thing Andrew and Brent were with me or I would've bored my brains out. They really are loyal. Which brings me to my next "thing".

Throughout this whole thing (starting in middle school), I was starting to lose...er.."interest" in helping me with Amanda. Espesially Andrew. With all of my fear before the texting thing, Andrew and Brent almost refused to help me permanetly. Until... I brought in a little deal.

I told them (if this thing turned out being good) that whoever helped me the most in this, they would get $15.

Hey, it worked.

Thursday was the day Brent had Spanish with Amanda. He offered to tell her what I needed to say ("meet me in the front of the school after school I need to tell you something" and if all else fails "I have something for you"). So he wouldn't mess up (like times... previously) I wrote what was needed to be said on an index card (not to be "read out"). At that was that.

Before I go on, I have to say, my Razr was stolen out of my Gym locker on Tuesday of the same week. And that Brent was going to spend the night again that Friday.

So I waited in the front. She was there. Not in the place where she was supposed to be. I thought that Brent failed. ("You fail me yet again Starscream." >). I was POd. And frustrated.

When I got home, I called him on my home phone (which was EXTREMELY difficult). He said the she said "No I don't think I will" and him and me argued a bit and... well, I went to bed early and angry.

The next morning, I found out that he didn't tell me the whole story. He said she said, "I don't think I will" then he mentioned the cd, and she said, "Ok, I will, but can I bring someone?" in which I found out later so it wouldn't be wierd. That mad me feel a LOT better.

After school, I had a lot of oppurtunities to do it, but I had another plan in my mind. My mom was going to take me to get another phone AND Brent was coming over to spend the night. I had a plan to call her and talk about think.

Long story short, my dad and Brent tempted me to call. Also Brent had been texting her about stuff (She said she was watching "The Hills" and South Park, not my personal favorites, but...meh) He asked If I could call. She said no, but that was just because she was busy. Then she said I could. I just called. A man answered. It sounded like a 17-18 year old. I texted her.

A guy answered.

That was my dumb dad.

... Why?

He stole my phone.

you'd be surprised. It wasn't as wierd as you would think, just remember it was 10 PM, so... I was tired. She answered. I couldn't really hear her. My volume control on my new phone was wierd. She sounded... happy? Ish. I don't know. She knew that Brent was there and suggested using his phone. I did. I told her what me and Brent had done that night (I. e. went on my roof, went and climbed a pine tree, etc.) . I said that we wre a bit hyper too. She giggled a bit and siggested that we were drinking red bulls or something. Then I confesed that I had totally had no plans on what to say (about you know what). Then for some reason her and her father were yelling at each other (about like... Tv? Or something. It was hard to tell). I thought she was crying.Brentb then took out my TFA Megatron and made it talk into the phone ("Where is that Allspark!??") good thing her and her dad's conversation drowned it out. She later said that she was laughing not crying.

The next day, I texted her asking about the CD. She said that Brent said I was going to give her one. I then said it was for dusks, of music. She said that was cool. We agreed to meet each other in the front of the school on Monday. This gave me a chance to "revamp" the CDs. There were some songs I didn't want on there, and some I forgot to put on.

These are the songs (in Order):

Why the make me think of her:

So on Monday... she didn't meet me. I asked why and she said she got shy (the tables have been turned). Then on Tuesday, she got sick with stomach pains (I asked) she said Andrew was stupid for thinking her appendix was gonna explode. Wednesday was when things started getting wierd.

She took it. And walked off. I almost forgot to tell her not to read it woth Bryce.

Ufortunately The rest of the entry was cut off. I'll have to make the second part.