Or, “Look I Bought New Toys”

Or, “Life in the Woods”

Seriously any of those titles would be pretty okay.

Regardless, thanks in large part to a gift card that contained five United States dollars and seventy-five cents, and Wal-Mart’s most excellent prices of $7.77 per deluxe-class Transformers toy, I purchased two new toys at this hour yesterday. I am quite pleased, because I like transformers toys.

The first one I selected was Universe Ravage I mean Hound. The reason I got it was because of the new Ravage toy, but Hound (the main and far-less-interesting character with which Ravage is packaged as a “bonus toy” or sorts) is a pretty seriously awesome toy also! Both of them transform from robots into other things. That is cool.

Now this is the part of the entry where I start speaking as if you are familiar with Transformers to a degree similar to my degree of familiarity. It is very possible you are not, but that is okay. You can keep reading and I hope you will still enjoy it–if not, you can stop reading and that is totally okay too! You will not hurt my feelings. I still like you.

Okay so I am really pleasantly shocked by this new Ravage toy. It is incredible! The original Ravage was a two-dimensional jaguar incapable of standing. See, this makes sense, because he transformed into a cassette and it is difficult to make a cassette turn into anything that is not really thin. Also this was 1984 so toys were not as complicated then. Now, however, it is the year 2009 and toys are much more complicated so the designers at Hasbro decided “Hey let’s make a Ravage toy that doesn’t suck!” And they did! It transforms completely differently from the original which makes sense because it is completely different. It actually looks like Ravage in “cat mode” and it actually looks like a cassette in cassette mode! That is so cool and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside though I wonder why hair is growing on my internal organs. But Ravage is so cool, I do not care. Also the best part is that he actually fits inside the tape compartment of the original 1984 Soundwave toy, which I definitely own! This makes me squee with delight. This is like the biggest achievement in Transformers toys ever. I have included photographs.

As I mentioned earlier, Hound turned out to be a fair degree of amazing also! As a character I have no special attachments to Hound as I do to Ravage, but this new toy of him is pretty superb. It looks very cool in both modes, expresses his character well (I like that they kept the motif of gigantic feet, which is something very distinctive about Hound), and has a great amount of pose-ability. I am particularly impressed by his head movement! He can move his head in any natural position; this allows him to adopt a limitless variety of expressive poses. Also fun delightful is transforming him from one mode to the other; I am particularly fond of the manner in which his jeep-mode seats transform into his thighs. It is really cool! I should also mention the great amount of detail on this toy; there is a full dashboard in his vehicle mode with a steering wheel and speedometer and other dials and buttons and things. I like that! I may not care much about Hound as a character, but I’m quite glad to have this wonderful toy in my collection. It is fun to play with.

Some may allege I have saved the best for last: I also purchased the new toy of AIR COMMANDER STARSCREAM OF THE DECEPTICON BATTLE FLEET. The previous needs to be read aloud in an imitation of Chris Latta’s voice and require a lightning flash with appropriate sound effects to ensue. If you did not do this, you should. Regardless, I am so excited about this toy! I mostly wanted it because I shamefully did not possess a toy of G1 Starscream (though I do have the Voyager-class Animated Starscream), despite his being one of my favourite characters and certainly one of the most memorable personalities and voices from Transformers. Upon opening and playing with the toy I discovered much happiness, exceeding even my expectations! It looks absolutely superb in both modes and quite exactly like the Starscream I know, love, and remember. I have been flying him about my house doing horrible vocal impersonations since purchasing this toy! I enjoy that, so it is a good thing. The figure’s transformation is fun and superb, and have I stressed how awesome it looks in both modes? It doesn’t even have hardly any undercarriage junk in jet mode. I am impressed. The only thing with which I am not perfectly pleased is the chunk of his nosecone that hangs off the back of his head in robot mode, but this is permissible;e–and it makes turning his head easier, so whatever. This toy is awesome and officially one my my favourite figures I own.

So, in summary: I like toys, and I bought more toys, and they are so cool.