Omega Turtle: Welcome again to Turtle crossing, the show where we make you look like a moron and then we laugh at you. And even with that, we are the most popular show of this kind on BZP according to our contestants.

Brenmac: That's because this is the only show on BZP of this kind!

Omega Turtle: If it's so bad, why did you want to be on it?

Brenmac: I didn't. Mesonak "volunteered" me.

Omega Turtle: Oh. Well, ok then. Today on our show we have a surprise: all the questions will be "what would you to do survive" in a certain situation? We have 4 guests as always. First up is Brutaka, a guardian put long ago on the island of Voya Nui to protect the Kanohi Ignika. He then turned traitor and killed a bunch of people.

Brutaka: I want a ham and cheese sandwich.

Omega Turtle: And then came the part which would make him look like a baby so we're not going to put it on here.

Brutaka: *sigh* (sucks thumb)

Omega Turtle: Next up, we have Fero, a bone hunter from Bara Magna. His occupation in the house is to bring Glatorian to a cardboard box arena upstairs.

Fero: It was, before stupid MT starting making a blog in here. Now I can't keep any Glatorian in here, or they'll smash all the equipment.

Omega Turtle: That sucks. Next we have XTRM, a giant creature with ten arms that looks like it wants to maim me.

XTRM: Levacius...will...die...

Omega Turtle: No kidding. If that's how you look at people you don't care about, your stare at someone you hate is probably lethal. Finally, we have Toa Brenmac, a Toa of...."everything?"

Brenmac: That's correct. I am a Toa of every element.

Omega Turtle: So, if a new element is created or discovered, then do you get it's powers to?

Brenmac: You're asking questions that require thinking. This is the comedy portion of the blog. You don't do that in a comedy.

Omega Turtle: Forgive me. Anyway, let's get on with the game. First down! You're stranded in a desert. Who would you take with you?

Brutaka: Well, I would take a cow, a pig, and a bread baker.

Omega Turtle: Uh, for what?

Brutaka: A ham and cheese sandwich.

Omega Turtle: Not a very convincing argument. No points for you. Fero?

Fero: I would take Skirmix. He could get me out of the desert really quickly(+1)

Omega Turtle: Ok, but what if Skirmix was too tired to move?

Fero: Then I'll take another Skirmix to drag the other Skirmix.

Omega Turtle: Whatever. XTRM?

XTRM: Levacius.

Omega Turtle: How would he help?

XTRM: I can enjoy the last seconds of my life beating the tea out of my worst enemy.

Omega Turtle: No points for that, since you die. You have to pick one to survive. Brenmac?

Brenmac: I wouldn't take anyone, since I'm a Toa, and I can create water to drink.

Omega Turtle: Boring answer, but it works. (+1) 2nd down: You're fighting Chuck Norris. What weapon do you use?

Brutaka: And ham and chees-(MUTE, -1)

Fero: A rock stee-(MUTE, -1)

XTRM: I'll take a chainsaw.

Omega Turtle: Gruesome, but it works(+1)

Brutaka: Wait a minute. How come he gets a point and I don't?

Omega Turtle: Because he actually picked a weapon. You picked a freaking sandwich.

Brutaka: But a sandwich could-(MUTE, -1)

Omega Turtle: Brenmac?

Brenmac: I'll take you. You can eat him.

Omega Turtle: (+10) Great answer. 3rd down: Who would you LEAST like to fight?

Brutaka: A ham and (MUTE, -1)

Fero: Tahu.

Omega Turtle: Why Tahu?

Fero: He has a taser.

Omega Turtle: Works...(+1)

XTRM: Myself.

Omega Turtle: Why's that?

XTRM: Because I'm the most dangerous thing around.

Omega Turtle: Hmm...(suddenly lunges and eats XTRM in one bite)

XTRM: Hey! Get me out of here!

Omega Turtle: (spits him out) Not so dangerous, huh?

XTRM: I wish you would brush your teeth.

Omega Turtle: I wish you would wash your face!

Brenmac: *AHEM*

Omega Turtle: Right. Brenmac?

Brenmac: I'd pick you.

Omega Turtle: Why?

Brenmac: Because you're the most dangerous guy around.

Omega Turtle: I'm not Tahu!

Brenmac: I know. I just thought you were-

Omega Turtle: Well, if that's what you were going to say already, then it counts. Oh, by the way, good answer. (+10)

Brutaka: Not Tahu whatever.

Omega Turtle: So, at the end of 3 downs, the score stands:

Brenmac: 22

XTRM: 4

Fero: 0

Brutaka: -3

Omega Turtle: Bye bye Brutaka. Any last words?

Brutaka: Momma do you think they'll drop the bomb on my ham and cheese sandwich-(MUTE)

Omega Turtle: Oook...4th down. What is the most important object for survival that you can have?

Fero: A rock steed!

Omega Turtle: Why?

Fero: So you can have him fetch bones while you're dying!

Omega Turtle: What do you not understand about the word "survival?"

Fero: The word itself.

Omega Turtle: What?

Fero: (grabs a dictionary) S....u.....r...

Omega Turtle: Right. XTRM?

XTRM: Ten arms. You have 10 times the firepower.

Omega Turtle: Most people have 2 arms already.

XTRM: Oh. Well then, 5 times the firepower.

Omega Turtle: (+2) Brenmac?

Brenmac: I don't care, since I'm moving on anyways.

Omega Turtle: I'll give you -50 points if you don't answer.

Brenmac: I mean, a cell phone!

Omega Turtle: What?

Brenmac: You can dial 911.

Omega Turtle *sigh* No points for that, but you do finish in 1st place. The standings are:

Brenmac: 22

XTRM: 6

Fero: 0

Omega Turtle: Goodbye Fero. Now for the showdown! Question #1: Who would win a battle between you?

XTRM: Me.

Brenmac: Him.

Omega Turtle: No. I would intervene and eat you both. No one gets that point. #2, what is the name of Chuck Norris' little baby?

XTRM: Uh...Bob?

Brenmac: Chuckie?

Omega Turtle: No, again. Last question: Am I awesome?

XTRM & Brenmac: Yes!

Omega Turtle: You both got it, so we end the showdown in a 1-1 tie. And so, to break the tie, I will ask Brenmac: What's your favorite band?

XTRM: WHAT?!?

Brenmac: Skillet.

Omega Turtle: You win!

XTRM: That's not-(MUTE)

Omega Turtle: Any last words?

Brenmac: I just totally owned, you, XTRM..uh, oh no. (runs)

XTRM: (can't talk because he's muted) ......!!!!!

Omega Turtle: We'll be back next week with more Turtle Xing. If you want to get in next week's edition, simply apply here.

Brenmac: AAAAHH!!!!

XTRM: ....!!!!

-MT