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Tom Cruise Is Tom Cruise Crazy; Just Be Glad It's Him, Not You. If You Had Tom Cruise's Problems, You Might Be Tom Cruise Crazy Too.


Bitter Cold

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Dear LEGO:

 

Allow me to present my silly thoughts about the new BIONICLE sets at Toyfair. Without actual names or images, because I'm too lazy.

 

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
TANKFORMER: Awesome. Just..awesome. The rider's arms are stupid, but the wires coming out of his head are sweet. And the machine is epic.

 

TANTRAX: A poopier version of Jetrax. But the tan and the giant wheel are pretty great. Actually, it kinda resembles a scorpion. That's neat, I guess, but the colors are too much.

 

MATA NOOEE: Eh. Disappointing. The waist is way too thin. His weapons just crawled out of Mahri Nui.

 

BLUE MAN GROUPIE: No. No no no. Augh. Rubber weapon, grey shoulders, tenseness...unarmored warrior with a horribly mutated disgrace to a Miru. And what is his life counter doing stuck to the back of his head?

 

ESKIMON: The colors work. But his head looks like a cat. And he has very few good pieces.

 

SO EASY A CAVEMAN COULD DO IT: Cool. I like the club..but it's kind of clunky for LEGO. I'd have preferred a few more pieces. He's awesome, but the legs are boring.

 

TAHU V4: Much love. Mata red. Orange. Mata red. Orange. Mata red and orange. And some Vahi leg armors, which I like especially because they can swivel. The sword is kinda not-great, but it's okay because he's so cool.

 

BEN 10: I like the round part of his head, but the vines kill the usefulness..or are they snakes? His weapon is a throwback to the Rahkshi, but a failure. Eww. Tube's cool though.

 

THE CHEAP VEHICLE: Is better than the blue vehicle. The treads are win, and the shape is just fun. But skis make little sense in a desert...

 

ROLYPOLY BIKERS: Eh. Helmets are cool. Blue's cool. Not executed well. Oddly tiny wheels.

 

SPIKITMOBILE: Spikit is fail squared. Giant clunky heads...no color balance..no new pieces.. Orange McOrange's legs suck, but he's alright. Weird mask is..get this..Weird. Vehicle is pathetic.

 

 

 

MOAR NOTES: Get somebody who knows what a BIONICLE is, to pose them. Please. Also, the new canister lids are cool. And I kinda like the movie-style mask thing, where the mouths show. That's fairly neat, and a lot of fans are going to explode with joy over it.

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I love the names you used to mock the characters. I would've called Vastus "Wildvine" myself, after the alien from Ben 10. :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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