Hmm...I say cook some steaks, watch a taped Super Bowl, and go golfing afterward! Problem solved! Anyway, the last one means Dark Samus will rip out your spleen, stretch it, and jump in.

Meso

We believe this one is the one of most priority.

High command Ridley would like to remind everyone at this time that you are supposed to throw the grenades BEFORE they explode.

How should we act on this?

-Skrall Unit 324

PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! *There is a party topic in my blog.*

Wait a minute. MT here says that your account has been taken over by TM. You're on the Space Pirate's side!!

Arrest Mesonak!

-Skrall Unit 324

*Un-zips self* You've caught me! Come one Ridley! *I hop on Ridley and energize him with shadow. He turns and roars at you, and a horde of shadows comes out of his mouth.*

TM has taken over Mesonak's body and Mesonak has now defected to the Space Pirates! Alert Tuma!

-Skrall Unit 324

I can't be possessed by TM, because I killed him! Go Ridley! *Ridley breathes fire in your face and sends an army of Space Pirates at you.*

No time, I'll leave it to.

!BING BING BING!!!!

Hello, this is Doctor Levacius, Toa of Science. I am a five-hour old clone here to describe to you my opinion on the situation:

It seems the Space Pirates, led Dark Samus, are planning to attack us with a force greater than Graveminds armies that attacked the Resort (which Obi-Wan stopped in the nick of time). This horde seems to, if stretched out to maximum length, long enough to reach from Capital Hill to the Sun, then back, then to the Sun, then almost back. Almost like that one stimulus bill.

Luckily, they are divided. Unluckily, these divisions are all led by the head commanders. Each force also seems to have a Dark Turtle in their base, and my special report probe says that Dark Samus is currently riding a Giant Shadow Turtle Hulk. It didn't say much more, however, because it is now a charred ash pile in the Space Pirates base.

They have met resistance. Their sandwiches have become a food source to robots, and they are constantly throwing grenades that were detonating at the moment just after they threw it. One tried to steal a Thermal Detonator from the Star Wars guys, and.... well, one less group.

This is Doctor Levacius reporting. Levacius is coming back, and would like to speak to you all regarding battle plans.

*Mike Tapping*

Thank you Doctor L. Now, let's get down to business. It seems that the Space Pirates have made a critical flaw in their plan and the time to strike has come. With my new set of Glatorian and with a battalion of Seargent Clones, I will storm the gates of their main base. While my army fights the others, I will battle Meso Mays. Then, The Seargent will release an energy field, and let X.T.R.M. out of prison.

In his rage, the titan will kill everything to get to me. And because he is chained by a device, I can use this device tostop him from killing me. Then, I will run off after using another to freeze Mesonak, and create lightning bars around the outside. Then, the two will tear each other apart.

Skrall 324, go to Tuma and have him deploy his armies with you. You can attack from the rear before my attack, causing distraction for my troups. Then, MT will descend on top, and teleport Ridley away. Oh, and who are these guys we are talking about?

-Levacius Zehvor (And Doctor Levacius!)

Kill TS, Ridley!

Kill Ridley, Samus!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

-MT

Lad to see you back MT. That Skrall was annoying me.

I have intercepted a very powerful message. I had to dodge through twelve armies of video game character, the Galactic Empire, and a Dark Samus Clone accompanied by the Anti-Toa. Plus, some of them had some messages of their own:

We finally got The Emperor to side with us today, and everything is going well. Especially now that I have equipped some new equipment to those Coffee Rahkshi.

 

But we have had some problems. Some "Mask Lord" guy attacked our Rahkshi yesterday, and took out half of our squad. Accursed thing. Luckily though, we managed to get it down.

 

Then all went wrong. Hordes of these Advanced Mask Rahkshi advanced on us, and only 4-Mask is still alive. Luckily though, he's developing a respawn platform, and managed to capture some Advanced Rahkshi for us as slaves.

 

Ridley and Mesonak are currently battling the forces of "good", we managed to domesticate XTRM to attack Samus for us, and that blasted Toa Levacius send an army of giant red guys on us.

 

Also, we're now deploying a Anti-Energy shield to hold off enemies. Manned by Brutaka and Syrux, it is the most powerful fortress created. None can stop us! No one! Now where's my dog, I was going to use this new spleen to play Fetch-the-Spleen with him....

Yeah. Nasty. But that's not all that I got.

I hate this. Stupid Syrux and his MOC army keep bossing me around. This isn't worth a ham and cheese sandwich... plus, I already stole one from Dark Samus....

I hate this. Stupid 4-Mask and his Rahkshi act like they're the boss of me. But they're not. I'll show them... plus, now that I stole all of XTRM's Oreos, I don't need Dark Samus'!

What happened to all of the food around here? Ill need to send one of those pirates down to the store.

Dear Diary, Today Dark Samus was being mean again. So I took her head off, then her arms, then her legs, then her spleen, and put her head back on. That will teach her.

I'll get that XTRM... wait, how can I write without legs?

ULTIMATE POWER! ULTIMATE POWER! ULTIMATE POWER!

I hate that maniac Emperor of ours. He's a mainac!

Pie will rule the world.

Don't know you wrote that, but I think that the below entry may be the answer.

I think Mesonak stole all of my pie again.

You decide.

-Levacius Zehvor

I don't think Dark Samus is capable of talking. The only thing he/she/it seems to be capable of doing is this stupid laugh that really annoys me whenever I fight he/she/it.

I do have some more intercepted messages from Skrall 324. Here they are.

Pirate Trooper #6 RTY 30N-915: Today we disbanded our alliance with the Empire. High command Ridley didn't like his pirates being zapped, so he ate the Emperor. And that didn't sit well with the rest of the Empire.

Pirate Trooper #1-FRC-56W-325: I suggested the idea to High Command that we make all our hand pads for the right hand, as the hunters' right hand is in an arm cannon and can't press the pad to open the door.

Pirate Trooper #1-FRC-56W-325: Never mind, that was an extremely stupid idea. The hunter just blasted the control panels, the door, and everything else. I believe the Pirate I framed for coming up with the idea was fed to Ridley today.

Pirate Trooper #4-ZLK-82J-008: I really don't understand the "Don't feed the Metroids rule. Why the heck can't we feed the Metroids? It's so fun, seeing their little spike thingys drain the life energy out of you.

Found on the body of a Pirate killed by Metroids.

-MT

Pirate Trooper #4-ZLK-82J-008 is a moron.

More information. Seargent sent one of his Marathon Units back to me. He ran for the distance of twenty plastic set miles at top speed just to deliver this to me before dying from exhaustion.

No more Empire for us, now that the Emperor is in his belly (though he seems to experience these shocking sensations every once and a while). Also, stupid Syrux and Brutaka left, leaving us with less men. What else could go wrong?!

I joined the Galactic Empire. Ridley ate the boss. So I killed Ridley by blasting him to death with coke, pepsi, tea, coffee, and sprite. I love watching wierd dragon/pirate things dying of drinks.

Just got worse. Lost two of our best men. Pirates were in chaos. Luckily 4-Mask managed to enslave them, and gave me the control orb that controls them with coffee. Perfect.....

-Levacius Zehvor

You all are morons. For I energized Ridley with the power of FUNK! He can just throw a disco ball at you. Now...Go Dark Samus!

Bad news. I recieved a report from The Seargent (Now caller Colonel Rikoriak, recently that is a report on the current condition of our camp. This time, however, the runner was able to survive due to help from Doctor Levacius. (Hi MT!)

The Message is written in a code just PM'd to the two people trusted with it.

Dear General Alpha,

 

We have bad news, sir. We finally managed to get our armies through the gates of Dark Samus' Castle after General Delta destroyed the devices guarding the place. However, inside, we were met in the middle of a Pirate/Empire war. Worse, Ridley has Funk powers now! And... wait, we hate funk. Boys, lets kill a dragon/alien/pirate!

 

Designation #1

-Levacius Zehvor

I am seriously confuzzled. But I have something you don't...

E.L.M.O.

Extraterrestrial

Lord

------

Maldon

Oxorm

Maldon Oxorm-The Extraterrestrial Lord-Elmo's true self. He wields the power of chaos. He has absorbed me, Ridley, and the entire Space Pirate Army, to become a collosus of ultimate power!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ah well. Since E.L.M.O is gone, I am the leader! Go, Skeleton army!

I'll go into voiceover mode:

And so it was, as it is. Lord Mesonak marched upon the main base in order to attempt a takeover with his skeleton army. However, as the army approached, Levacius and TS launched giant balls of soft and stuffy things, destroying the skeletons with cuteness. Mesonak was put to death. However, in a freak accident, the executioner (Toffee Matoran) tripped on a bug and knocked Mesonak out of the path. Of the blade. However, as Toffee Matorans head went flying, evil wisps appeared, and formed the body of TM. TM and Mesonak ran, releasing many captives in the jail (4-Mask, Ridley, Dark Samus, the Pirates, the other Rahkshi, XTRM, etc.), and ran for it.

They disappeared. And now the war is on again.

MT, I was searching around. I found these messages:

Whoever keeps trying to spike the Rahkshi's coffee, will soon be reporting to Ridley for Termination.

I hope the Dark Samus never realizes it was me who spiked the Rahkshis coffee.....

I hope Dark Samus never realizes I gave Pirate FTASD124241 the poison to spike the Rahkshi's coffee....

Ridley looks hungry again. Of course, the Metroids we fed hims weren't so happy. I'm going to have to call the med-vac out here.

ULTIMATE POWER! ULTIMATE POWER! ULTIMATE POWER! ULTIMATE POWER!

I will have my revenge!

The new guy is such a moron. He keeps on and on about revenge. Goodness, it makes my feud with Tahu seem calm.

I traded my soul with Evil Tahu for a love potion for Roodaka. Problem is, I don't have any emotions now. What is love?

The last one slightly scares me.

-Levacius Zehvor

And so it begins again...However, there is a force even more powerful than E.L.M.O...

B.A.R.N.E.Y.

Biomechanical

Android

Radioctive

Nuking

Encarnate

---------

Yazon.

He shall OWN you.

This was intended to be funny, but now it's just turning into role-playing.

-MT

Yeah, he's right. But who cares! I recieved more messages from Rokiriak!

B.A.R.N.E.Y. tried to sing his stupid song in front of me again. 4-Mask took care of the problem.

I HATE YOU! YOU HATE ME! SO LETS GO AND SHOOT BARNEY FRANK! *takes out RPG*

And guess who we have on our side: The Pink Panther!

The Pink....

P.retty

A.wsome

N.inja

T.erminator

H.elios

E.ating (I could have used him in TBTTRAH Mafia 3....)

R.avager

Yeah, pretty deadly. We know he's on our side because of this message:

(to Pink Panther music) I hate... I hate... I hate, I hate, I hate Mesonak!

And as you know, the enemy of my enemy IS my friend.

-Levacius Zehvor

And the friend of my enemy IS dead.

Colonel, remind me to de-rank him from General Delta to Lieutenant T.

Oh, and I recently got The Pink Panther to officially join us. XTRM recently tried to kill me (again), and The Pink Panther took him out by dropping a pail of paint on him.

Two reasons: A)The bucket was twice as large as his plastic body is, B)Mt "B" has become an emoticon, and C)It was mixed with liquid nirogen, mercury, and lead.

So, uh, TS, you may want to remind your Tarakava army to NOT eat the paint in my fortress. Cause' XTRM just lost all of his nonexistant hair.

-Levacius Zehvor

Oh Noez! the Pink Panhter! Whatever shall I do? Oh, I know...

Mesonak

Mechanical

Electronic

Soldier

Optimized

for Nocturnal

Assasination

and

Killing.

So, HAHAHA! I shall OWN you. And I cannot be teleported anywhere.

What is it with you guy's and acronyms? M.O.D.O.K., kill them.

FYI: M.O.D.O.K is a Marvel villian. M.O.D.O.K. stands for... I can't remember.