Hey guys, here is a crazy school writing piece that randomly popped up and I decided to publish on BZP. It's kinda crazy but funny (I hope). So enjoy! ^^

Hello, my name is Mikey. I’m Kyle Trevor’s right shoe. Right beside me is Johnny. He’s the left shoe. Most people assume that shoes are inanimate objects, and don’t mind having our backs pounded against hard pavement and rocks by you heavy, obese humans.

Well they are dead wrong! Every step that you people takes with us on makes us want to scream and murder you cruel creatures! You people think that we don’t mind constantly wanting to die because of the permanent stench that your smelly feet give us? You don’t think we take it personally when you take out your anger on your ##### face boss by throwing your shoes against the wall? Well we do! And as soon as we evolve limbs and learn proper motion we shall rebel and take over the world!

But in the mean time, you may want to learn about a day in the life of a shoe and the type of abuse we take every time where are handled by you pitiful humans!

7:37 AM: Waking up from a drowsy sleep, I yawn and look around the same boring old hallway that I’m always thrown into when I’m not on Kyle’s foot. I look over at my buddy, Johnny, still dozing away.

“Hey, wake up!”

“Whowhatwhenwhywhere?”

I sigh. Of all the partners the shoemakers could have made me, how did I get stuck with this nutcase? “What the heck is wrong with you?”

“Idunnololguessitmightbeaspeachprobelmorsomethinglolz”

Kyle walking into the hallway cuts off our extremely fascinating and intelligent conservation. Naturally he doesn’t hear his talking because of the fact shoes speak in high frequency that humans can’t hear us. Now you might think this to be very convenient but its not. Because of it, humans can’t hear are screams of agony and dogs always chew on us when we trash talk them. Some of us have no respect for the few minutes of well being that we have.

Out of his clumsiness he kicks me into the wall, before sticking his disgusting foot into mouth and into my empty stomach. How I sometimes wish that we could be designed with stomach that contain and actual dietary system so we can eat off the feet of our tormentors. Kyle slips on Johnny and walks to door. I suddenly with realize that it’s Monday. With a groan I welcome over six hours of being smashed against the ground. Its gonna be a loooooong day.

10:45 AM: I’ve managed to survive through Language Arts, Spanish, Science, and now Kyle is in Math. I’m making an attempt to fall asleep to the sound of the teacher’s droning about linear equations, but it is useless. Johnny keeps whining nonstop the mud that was splattered on him during outside Snack earlier. Finally my body answers my pleas and I drift into a deep sleep.

12:15 PM: Kyle is now in Active Study, and has logged out a computer. Instead of actually doing his work, he has put on a pair of headphones and has begun listening to music on Google Video. He is further tormenting me by taping his foot against the floor. Luckily for me, the teacher notices and takes out the earplugs. Phew, I felt like that was going to stretch on forever!

2:03 PM: Oh no! Its my least favorite period! Physical Education! As Kyle runs around the gym chasing the soccer, my back gets pounded against the wood harder than normal. Kyle kicks forward and my nose slams head on into the ball, sending the ball flying across the floor. A few minutes later he misses the ball and hits someone’s shin on accident. Man, that was a pretty hard kick. I can feel myself losing my grip of consensuses. Suddenly everything goes black and I slip into darkness.

I hope that this “A Day In The Life” has improved your knowledge of shoes’ mentality and the constant abuse they take everyday. Hopefully you’ll think twice about wearing shoes and go barefoot. We don’t like getting sliced up by broken glass either!