Only slightly younger than the internet, but it's new to me so YEAH.

Minas Tirith

EOMER: What are our liabilities?

ARAGORN: There is but one working castle gate, and it is guarded by sixty men.

EOMER: And our assets?

LEGOLAS: Aragorn’s sword, Gimli’s axe, and my arrows.

EOMER: That's it? Impossible. If we had a month to plan maybe I could come up with something. But this... I mean if we only had a host of Rohirrim, that would be something.

ARAGORN: Where did we put that host of Rohirrim we had?

EOMER: Why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?! What I wouldn't give for a massive earthquake...

Inside tower in Mordor.

Frodo lies on floor.

ORCS: He’s only mostly dead!

Battleground outside Minas Tirith

WITCH KING: Surrender!

EOWYN: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well then, I accept.

On the road to the Western Shore

VISION: [in a horrid voice] Booooooo! Booooooo! Boooooooo!

ARWEN: [upset] Why do you do this?

VISION: Because you had love in your hands and you gave it up! Your true love lives, and you sail off to Valinor! True love saved her from a lonely immortal life, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want. Bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo! [ARWEN wakes up]

NARRATOR: It was ten days till they sailed. The king-to-be still lived, but Arwen’s health was becoming steadily worse.

While seeing off the Rohirrim on their journey to Minas Tirith

EOWYN: Bye bye, boys!

MERRY: Have fun storming Minas Tirith!

A cave west of Mordor

FARAMIR: [To FRODO] The steward’s stinking eldest son got promoted rather than me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut, and pour lemon juice on it.

Emyn Muil

GOLLUM: If you're in such a hurry you could take this rope off.

SAM: I could do that, but I do not think we should accept your help, since you are only waiting around to kill us.

GOLLUM: That does put a damper on our relationship. I promise I will not kill you until you reach Mordor

SAM: That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.

GOLLUM: Is there any way you'll trust me?

SAM: Nothing comes to mind.

GOLLUM: I swear on the precious you will reach Mordor alive.

FRODO: Sam, untie the rope.

Above the Fords

ARAGORN: [examining the ground] There was a mighty duel. It ranged all over.

LEGOLAS: Who won? How did it end?

ARAGORN: One hobbit ran off alone, and the other followed his footprints toward Mordor...

LEGOLAS: Shall we track them?

ARAGORN: They must have seen the orcs closing in, which might account for their panicking into error. Unless I'm wrong, and I'm never wrong, they are headed straight into the Dead Marshes. Only Merry and Pippin can be helped now. Clearly this was all planned by warriors of Isengard! We must all be ready for whatever lies ahead.

Torture chamber in Mordor

ORC: I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let’s just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?

GOLLUM: Baggins! Shire!

ORC: Interesting.