I would avoiding reading this long blog entry if you don’t want to know about bodily functions.

Today was my upper gi and small bowel follow through, my innards check up for Crohn’s. We got up at 7:30 and got at the hospital around 8:30 to register, I wasn’t allowed anything to eat after 12 so I woke up starving. Then I left my mom in the main waiting room, and they took me back to the changing area. You aren’t allowed anything but you’re socks, shoes, and underwear so I had to put on a hospital gown for the duration of the test.

After changing, I went to the second waiting room in the back and waited for someone to come get me for the test. This portion was actually the longest waiting period-

*runs away*

Sorry about that, I’ll get to that later, but as I was saying- Sitting in the secluded waiting room waiting for the test to start was the longest and boring part. All of the magazines were years old, I’m talking 2006 and older… They were all about sports cars too. Finally I found a magazine on bicycling, who knew there was a monthly bicycle magazine?

Finally, one of the fluoroscopy technicians came and got me. She asked me my name and birth date to confirm I was the right patient. It never fails though, I always get the cute technicians. She seemed like the smart type, around her 20s, she wore black rectangular framed glasses similar to mine and she was cute. Then we got in the room and there were two more technicians! Although one was a guy in his 20s and the other one was a middle aged woman who looked like she was pregnant.

The oldest told me to take a seat, the guy was still mixing up and preparing my drinks, plus we we’re waiting on the doctor. She asked me why I was having the test, I told her Crohn’s, and she said “Oh so this is a check up for you.” I told her yeah. Then she asked what type of pain I was having, and I told her none. She listed off vomiting, nausea, and other stomach related things. For some reason they always have to know that in order to do the test, unless you’ve been diagnosed with something prior I guess.

Finally the doctor came in and re-explained what the oldest technician had told me about the test. I practically know what they do, since I’ve had it done twice before. He also asked when the last time I had the test was and I said two years ago, he said okay, they’d dig it up but it wouldn’t change how they did today’s test. He was a nice doctor though. The first part of the test they had me stand up on the x-ray machine and they give you gas crystals to drink. Yes, gas crystals. Then he tells you not to burp, after giving you gas crystals to drink…

It’s quite hard to hold down a burp when you drink something that causes you to burp… I managed to hold all of it down though, except I burped once when they were rotating the table so it was horizontal. While I was standing up though, he gave me a canister of barium to drink, with no straw so I ended up getting it all over my face. While I drank it as he instructed, I watched it go down my throat and it was really creepy but interesting.

He even took the time to show me my stomach and the various parts of it. My stomach is a lot smaller than I thought it was. It doesn’t seem that big at all when you look at it, I’ve always thought of my stomach as some giant bag… Anyway, that part of the test isn’t much fun, with the gas crystals and holding down burps and such. Once they lay you down it isn’t so bad.

The doctor told me to lay this way, that way, and he took pictures. Although, everyone in the room was wearing protective lead vests and skirts I had nothing. Then, the doctor said, “Is someone going to get lead for his bottom?” So the cute tech got a little pad and slid it under me, then we continued the various poses and pictures of my stomach. After that was done and over with and I was allowed to sit back up, out of nowhere the cute tech handed me a wash cloth and told me I had barium on my face.

Now that that part was over, the upper part is easy because the fluids go right into it; but you have to wait a while for it all to reach the lower extremities. They gave me another canister of barium to drink and sent me back to the waiting room. They test you every twenty minutes to check the progress of wear the barium is at. I finished the bottle long before the twenty minutes was up and waited for someone to come get me.

While I was waiting, I got extremely paranoid. They kept paging the fluoroscopy technicians and then they paged the doctor who had just done my test. I was like “OMG No they found something terrible.” I tend to get paranoid and thing over things too much… Then… This older lady technician, who I haven’t seen before, shows up and takes me to a different room and takes my stomach picture… She didn’t even put a lead pad under me and kept telling me to relax and straighten my hips. There was something about her mood that seemed off.

Then she told me to go back to the waiting room and walk around some more and wait. Apparently, walking around helps the fluid go through you quicker or something to that extent. So, I paced the waiting room because I was too afraid to walk the halls. I always get turned around and lost in the little area, especially considering I just went into a new room and down a different hall. After pacing for a bit, I turned around to sit down and, not even another twenty minutes later, the guy technician from before was there and asked if I was ready.

So I went back in, and the table was wet because it was cleaned and they were changing the pillow case…. Later I found out that a patient had showed up at ten for their appointment, and it wasn’t until one. They made some big show and threw a fit so apparently they got in early and had the test done, which would explain why some random lady did my picture.

Back in the room, they had me lie on the table again and wait for the doctor. He got back and did some small talk with the male tech. talking about how they only had a few patients today but the schedule was all whacked up. The techs were actually paged twice while I was waiting for the second part of my test to be completed.

Okay, so the doctor is back and he said it looked like I was all ready to go. He put on this lead glove and the guy tech gave him this poking mechanism… The cute female was gone this time, so the guy slid the lead padding under me instead. The doctor got the screen oriented so he could show me my lower intestines, which was more interesting than the upper bowels because he used the poking thingy to push on my stomach. It was extremely neat to see my insides move around just by him rubbing lightly with the plastic spoon thing.

He said that he had to check over everything and he did. He showed me my colon and said, “it looks like the barium has reached your colon.” Then he pushed on an area right on the color region and asked me if it hurt. It didn’t and he moved on to the small intestine.

*runs away*

Sorry about that again… Let’s see, checking over everything, *pokes colon*, that hurt?, no, okay- “ Okay, your small intestine, doesn’t look like much is going on there. The area they have marked on your diagnosis isn’t that interesting.”

So um… I guess that’s a really good thing. The area they had marked when I was first diagnosed is looking good. All I really now is there was thickening that is a traditional indicator of Crohn’s. However, me being the paranoid person I am… I’m still hung up over the color poking part. I know he said he had to check over everything, but why does a doctor poke you and ask you if it hurts? Did he see something that my untrained eyes wouldn’t? I’m not sure and they don’t tell you anything so I have to wait for my doctor to call with my results.

Then the test was over, they took the pictures and that was all. I got up and started to leave and the guy tech said he’d walk me back to the changing room. Which was a good thing, I walked out of the room and went in the completely wrong direction. Then when I was following him I started to turn down the wrong hall… I have no idea how I get lost and mixed up in there so badly. Then I got back to the changing room, and he opened the door and told me “take care bud.”

Done. Well, not really. See they had me drink one thin mix of barium after the gas crystals. Then I had to drink an even larger batch of a thicker mixture. The doctor instructed me to eat and drink a lot. He actually said just throw stuff in there, fluids, drink, all day to wash out the barium. The stuff is nasty and it can clog you up badly, so you need to get it moving and out of your system. We stopped at McDonalds and got breakfast and I barely made it home to the bathroom. Those *runs away* are me running to you know where to “flush my system.”

Now I just have to wait and see how long it takes for the doctor to call back with the results… For now I have schoolwork and babysitting.