HeavyMetalSunshineSister

In other news, the FBI has just closed the case on DB Cooper. Tommy Wiseau breathes a sigh of relief.

who needs a blog when i can just say terrible things right here. i think orange-flavored toothpaste is a great idea and you can't stop me

I think it's funny how my neck just sort of... retracts when I'm laughing. Like, this is hilarious, I need 20% less neck now? No you fool, my ears are giving me a shoulder-rub, put that back where you found it.

I have had it with these degenerate Creepers spawning in my house. At noon. With eight torches in the place.

The good die young, therefore cartoonish villainy is the best medicine.

Am I wrong though? Have I spoken falsely? Of course I have, just not about this. And usually with air-quotes. Which makes it loop back around to truth.

My impressive fortifications bring all the invading hordes to the [court]yard, because they are unaware of a few key facts regarding the relative hardness of their heads versus meter-thick stone walls.

Profound frozen chicken lives.

"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Lesson learned from Minecraft- all hobos are werewolves.

The possibility of someone taking what I type into this box seriously is almost as worrying to me as the even more remote possibility of me one day wanting someone to take it seriously.