tent163phantoka Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 (Star Trek intro music playing)COMIC MAKING.THE 2ND-TO-FINAL BZPHRONTIER.THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE ARTWORK III: BIONICLE COMICS FORUM.TO DISCOVER NEW GENRES.TO EXPLORE SAID GENRES.TO BRAVELY GO WERE NO FORUM HAS GONE BEFORE.(Star Trek intro music stops playing)With that Star Trek reference out of the way,we can get on with this. I welcome you to a train-themed series. this will highlight various Spherus Magna-based adventures in trains 10 years after the present storyline.Characters will be intro'd laterComixComic 1:intro.enjoy and please post! Quote My Library! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybre Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 (edited) Anyway, the comics are in poor quality, like how the panels aren't in the squares correctly, the spare room, and the transparency of the clouds. Could use more work.Hey, great shot though! Edited March 6, 2012 by Melorussophobia Quote mindeth the cobwebs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tent163phantoka Posted March 5, 2012 Author Share Posted March 5, 2012 The panel thing was an accident, the transparency thing was part of putting them in in MS Paint and having the kit in said program, and the extra room was supposed to have a train in it but it didn't work. Quote My Library! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Absorba- Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) Oh, Lord almighty....This... okay, I have to do bullet points all over again. Sorry:1. The pictures are really displaced from where the actual panels are. If you have trouble putting the image in the frames properly, then you should use the magnification tool.2. I'm not sure if this idea of trains in Spherus Magna lends itself to a comic adaptation. Just.... this doesn't sound like it'll lend itself to any opportunities in which it would appeal as a webcomic.3. The missing splotches in where white should be can be very simple to solve. Use this:Your right-hand color is pure white by default, so if you use the bottom one, it'll make it transparent. Simply use the top one, or switch the right-hand color by right-clicking one.4. I've already said this in your last comic, but please do not do the Star Trek intro. If you won't look back, here's a copy-paste from the previous topic: "Please don't use intros like that. Seriously, Dark709, lavaside rahi, Gavla, do any near-professional-level comic topics have ANYTHING LIKE THAT? No. I know it seems nice at first, but it comes off more noobish, as it seems you're putting more dedication into a few lines of someone else's work on the topic than the actual comic itself."5. Spherustracks.... um.... sounds a lot like Spirit Tracks. As in The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks?6. Is your character floating? Throughout each panel, it seems that he's floating off the grass. Just a question: WHY? If he's keeping the same position throughout the entire comic, wouldn't it make more sense to just copy and paste the first frame, or better yet, make him move? It really doesn't look appealing seeing something talking with no movement.7. The last five panels are completely unnecessary. Of course this is fictional; this is a webcomic based off a toyline featuring semi-sentient/robotic beings. Which brings me to....8. Again, what in the name of Hapori Dume does this have to do with Bionicle? It's much better than the last topic, but again, so far, all we have in relation to it is a Bohrok with a Hau Nuva, which again, isn't really sufficient. The fourth panel doesn't even make sense; what trains?I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a total troll here, but this is just really frustrating seeing such low-quality work in comparison to even lavaside rahi's comics. Please follow my advice this time. Edited March 6, 2012 by Melorussophobia Some things in all-caps came off as flaming. Please keep criticism constructive! Quote Have a good question? Yes? Good answer. Click here now to ask it to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybre Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Again, what in the name of Hapori Dume does this have to do with Bionicle? It's much better than the last topic, but again, so far, all we have in relation to it is a Bohrok with a Hau Nuva, which again, isn't really sufficient.This comic series also has something to do with a location in the BIONICLE universe. Quote mindeth the cobwebs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kodrak Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 A guy brings trains to Spherus Magna. How is that not Bionicle related? Quote not autistic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Absorba- Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Again, what in the name of Hapori Dume does this have to do with Bionicle? It's much better than the last topic, but again, so far, all we have in relation to it is a Bohrok with a Hau Nuva, which again, isn't really sufficient.This comic series also has something to do with a location in the BIONICLE universe.A guy brings trains to Spherus Magna. How is that not Bionicle related?Okay, okay, point taken. I withdraw my note of that, but that brings me back to point 2. Does this really lend itself to many interesting posibilities?Then again, this has only been one comic, so let's just see how it fares once it introduces something. Quote Have a good question? Yes? Good answer. Click here now to ask it to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kodrak Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 There could be a mystery on the train, lives of the workers, etc. Also, I agree with the Star Trek thing. Every series I've seen you do has this. It's super annoying. Quote not autistic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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