The Most Important Issues
John Williams Michael Phelps America
Next election, though, I propose these core issues:
- Convert our counting system to Base 120.
- Pass a constitutional amendment denying the existence of Canada.
- Change all of the lame state flags that looks alike. The ones that are okay can stay the same, but all those others need to go.
- Make Ithkuil the official language of legal texts.
- Recompose the national anthem so that it covers 6 octaves.
- Officially declare that the Goddess Columbia be represented with the likeness of Whitney Houston.
- Let John Williams come up with anthems for all of the states that have boring anthems.
- Right next to the Statue of Liberty, build a statue of John Williams waving a conductor's wand.
- Set our healthcare goal to, "Make John Williams live forever."
- Draft Michael Phelps back into the Olympics. He needs to stick around until the 2028 L.A. Olympics at the very least.