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Interview: The Chief Gremlin, Minion Of Survurlode

Posted by bonesiii , Jul 19 2007 · 382 views

Evil Lord Survurlode


Today the Bones Blog brings you an interview with one of Evil Lord Survurlode's minions, the Chief Gremlin. I discovered the existence of these creatures only by a slip of the tongue on Survurlode's part on the last interview. I've hunted down the Chief and he has agreed to let me interview him in person at his home. Though I was a little confused when he told me to meet him on a tiny rocky island off the coast of Metru Nui... This time I brought my own camera, so I could include snapshots, and I recorded the conversations. The following is the transcript.


bones: Hello... Mr. Gremlin. Do you have a name other than "Chief Gremlin"?

Chief Gremlin: Actually, it's THE Chief Gremlin with a capital T, just like THE Shadowed One.

bones: Oh. I see. So, introduce yourself to our readers, since you were classified until recently. Who are you? And maybe a little bit about what Gremlins are?

THE Chief Gremlin: Well, basically we're amphibious biomechanical minions based off a stolen BoM Fohrok design. Which is based off of stolen Bohrok designs. Which is based off of stolen design sketches from these weird fleshy creatures called something like "Hoomons" who live in a distant land called "Billund". Or so I heard. Anyways, we specialize in making computer glitches to help Evil Lord Survurlode bring BZPower and the rest of the Internet to its knees. I'm the one in charge of the others.

bones: I see.

THE Chief Gremlin: Don't forget to snap a photo!

bones: Very well.



THE Chief Gremlin: Like my fancy armor?

bones: Whatever. Next question. What gave Survurlode the idea to make Gremlins biomechanical rather than just mechanical like Bohrok or Fohrok?

THE Chief Gremlin: Well, Evil Lord Survurlode got tired of hearing all about the "Orcs" that served his brother, Sauron -- which are biological -- so he became obsessed with inventing his own minions. He tried Rahi called "Orcas" for a while. It made sense, given his power over water. But being whales, they didn't really listen to orders... Later he figured out that Bohrok may have once been biomechanical too, so he just worked from there.

bones: Do you have any images of these "Orcas" for our readers?

THE Chief Gremlin: Yes, I have some in my house.

bones: Oh -- so you actually have a house? I was confused on that. All I see here are a few rocks and lots of water.

THE Chief Gremlin: Well think about it -- my boss is obsessed with flooding every island he can, so a normal house would be pointless. No, a long time ago all of us Gremlins upgraded to an iHouse.

bones: A what?

THE Chief Gremlin: iHouse, ya know? It's the latest craze! It's a phone, mp3 player, video game console, printer, full-sized keyboard, computer desk, chair, refrigerator, oven, microwave, bed, and more. For some reason there's no Kitchen Sink, but we have so much water thanks to my boss that it doesn't matter. [He pulled the iHouse out of his pocket.]



bones: All I see is a... doorknob?

THE Chief Gremlin: Watch. [He pressed a button on the iHouse.]

[At this point, a house magically expanded out of the back of the knob, on the island. Unfortunately as it was expanding one wall slammed into me and knocked me off into the Silver Sea, and I sunk, being an undead skeleton and all. Had to climb up the steep underwater sides of the island before the interview could continue. My recorder was ruined, but thankfully THE Chief Gremlin had another one inside his iHouse, which he lent me. Later I was able to recover the text of the first part of the interview when my recorder dried.]

bones: Nice place you have. It's very... clean...



THE Chief Gremlin: Yes, sorry about the lack of a mess. I get these strange impulses to clean... it all... every once in a while. It all... must be... *ahem* Sorry. Leftover code from the Bohrok design. Anyways, that's an Orca in that photograph. It's one I tamed.



bones: I thought they couldn't be tamed?

THE Chief Gremlin: Well, you see, Survurlode has this way with his obsessions. He became obsessed with eradicating all Orcas from the Bionicle Universe. I had to secretly tame that one so that it could survive until Survurlode forgot about it (but don't tell him that), and I discovered that the Orcas are actually very intelligent -- they just didn't like Survurlode's personality. I have a big weakness when it comes to animals in distress. I released it into the wild a few years ago.

bones: Wow. Why would Survurlode do that? I mean, I know he's evil, but wiping out an entire species of animals just because they wouldn't obey him?

THE Chief Gremlin: Actually, it wasn't that. He had wanted servants because of the Orcs, remember, but later when his brother died, he realized the Orcs had failed to protect Sauron. So he figured, "Orcas" might fail too. So he ordered their deaths to prevent his own downfall in his own version of a Mount Doom scenario.

Voice from another room: DooMAH!

bones: Who said that?

THE Chief Gremlin: Ah, yes, you will want to meet my Pet Peeves!

bones: Your what?

THE Chief Gremlin: Pet Peeves! Creatures that feed on things that are annoying. They come in all kinds of species. It's sort of a hobby I have, collecting them.

bones: Is that anything like Peeves, the Poltergeist in Harry Potter?

THE Chief Gremlin: No, silly! Harry Potter is fiction!

bones: Oh.

THE Chief Gremlin: Just come over into this room, and I'll show you. [We walked through that crooked doorway you saw earlier.] These kraata-like things are Plural Apostrophe's.



THE Chief Gremlin: They all have a hive mind, so the whole group is really one creature. They have very intense appetites -- most people can't handle them. The trick is to feed them with any book that you own, if it has typos in it, a couple a day. So obviously I spend a lot of time at the bookstore. Mostly I feed them Faulkner.

Plural Apostrophe's: *Hisssssssssss*

bones: And what are these tablets with eyes?

THE Chief Gremlin: These are Bionicles.



THE Chief Gremlin: They're pretty easy to handle. They just sit there and quote from the legends of Bionicle whenever they're nervous. They're an endangered species, because only a few inhabitants of BZ-Koro domesticate them, and they're very vulnerable in the wild. Although I've heard that those fleshy things in Billund have some too.

A Bionicle: "And that is the way.... of the BIONICLE."

Another Bionicle: "We must rescue the Matorans!"

Yet Another: "Unity! Duty! DESTINY!!!!11!1!"


THE Chief Gremlin: There there. [He fed the Bionicles some snacks called "Topic Titles", and they calmed down.] Anyways, I also have some Alwayzon Turnsignals, some of their relatives the Neveron Turnsignals, some Chalkboard Scratchers, and the one you heard was a very rare specimen, a Doom.



Doom: DooMAH!

bones: Oh, those. I think I've got one running around at home, actually...

THE Chief Gremlin: Yes, there are many Wild Peeves too. I'm actually writing a book called "How to Catch a Wild Peeve". Or at least, I'm trying to write it, but every time I make a typo, the Plural Apostrophe's eat the draft...

bones: Now, this is interesting. You are a head honcho in the most evil organization known, and yet you have this soft spot. Is this, maybe, because deep down, you know you're on the wrong side?

THE Chief Gremlin: Ha! No, no, I love my job. What is this, good cop, bad cop?

bones: I'm a moderator, not a cop... besides, there's nobody else here to be the other cop.

Another voice: *ahem* And what am I, a fly on the wall?

[At this point I noticed the evil clock in the room. Which was, incidentally, on the wall, but I didn't bring it up...]



bones: Ah. No, didn't mean to imply that. But aren't all evil clocks higher ranking than Gremlins? You would be THE Chief Gremlin's overseer, yes? Maybe he is just pretending to like his job since you're here?

Wall Clock: I serve merely as the messenger to the Chief Evil Clock for The Chief Gremlin. I knew about the Orca, you know -- and I didn't pass that on. I'm loyal to The Chief Gremlin. And by the way, you don't have to keep yelling "THE". Yeesh.

bones: Sorry.

The Chief Gremlin: Anyways, no, I am proud of the E.V.I.L. we have accomplished. Recently, although Brave Knight... I mean, Cowardly Scum Binkmeister did deal us a serious blow with the board update, I singlehandedly created the Gremlin Database Corruption Glitch, which as you know has been randomly deleting members and topics, making random forums or topics inaccessible. Etc.

bones: Oh, yes, I know. You made S&T inaccessible the other day. And one of the RKs lost his account. So... just remember who you're talking to before you get all cocky...

Wall Clock: You are powerless here, skeleton. Remember the clockcuff that is still on your wrist, despite your silly sledgehammers.

bones:

The Chief Gremlin: And we've made plenty of headway lately. Remember brickshelf? That was our doing. All the busy messages on BIONICLEsector01? Gremlins, and same with the host difficulties, with the help of an Evil Clock. We've even managed to interfere with people's abiltity to back up their files during the short time they still have brickshelf!

bones:

The Chief Gremlin: And we have more plans. Oh yes, don't you doubt it.

bones: Anything you can tell us about those plans? And please don't say "Sorry, that information is classified." I hate it when you guys steal my lines.

The Chief Gremlin: Oh! Then maybe you'd be interested in helping me catch a Stolen Thunder Peeve?

bones: Uh, no thanks. Sounds... dangerous. And don't change the subject.

The Chief Gremlin: Well, I think we can afford to reveal one of Survurlode's backup plans, just so you don't think you can ever win. You see, Sauron was once in a form much like Survurlode's current form, but he was "killed" when Isildur cut the One Telephone Ring off his finger, right?

bones: Yeah?

The Chief Gremlin: Well, as you know, Sauron came back in the form of a giant tower with a giant I of flame. So we Gremlins have designed a similar tower for Survurlode, just in case Binkmeister ever "kills" him. It's a giant I of water. Here, I've got the plans of it here.



bones: Are you sure it was an "I"? I thought it was an "eye".

The Chief Gremlin: That was only in the movie version. In real life it was an I, because Sauron was... well, very selfish. He said "I" a lot, you know? They just made the eye in the movie to emphasize how all-seeing he was, just like Survurlode.

bones: I see. Um... pun not intended...

The Chief Gremlin: And by the way, once you read the transcript of this interview on the recorder I give you, you'll noticed I said "E.V.I.L." earlier rather than just "evil". That's one of our plans too.

bones: What's that stand for? And what's the plan?

The Chief Gremlin: It stands for "Every Villain Is Lemons". And all I can say right now is, it involves Ahkmou, and it will involve the Bohrok and the Nuva...

bones: Oh dear. You didn't hack the Bohrok that the Nuva just awoke did you?

The Chief Gremlin: It stands for "Every Villain Is Lemons". And all I can say right now is, it involves Ahkmou, and it will involve the Bohrok and the Nuva...

bones: Um. You said that already.

The Chief Gremlin: It stands for "Every Villain Is Lemons". And all I can say right now is, it involves Ahkmou, and it will involve the Bohrok and the Nuva...

bones: Hello?

Wallclock: It's the glitches. We call it Broken Record Syndrome.

bones: Yeah, Evil Lord Survurlode mentioned this happens sometimes. How do I knock him out of it?

Wallclock: You wait. evilgrin.gif

bones:

The Chief Gremlin: It stands for "Every Villain Is Lemons". And all I can say right now is, it involves Ahkmou, and it will involve the Bohrok and the Nuva...

bones: You know, with cars, "lemons" are defective.

The Chief Gremlin: It stands for "Every Villain Is Lemons". What what? Oh. Sorry. There I go again. Again. Again. *ahem*

bones: I was hoping to ask you about the mysterious Poolantir that Survurlode has. What are its powers? How does it work? All I know is what it looks like, from this photograph our spies obtained:



The Chief Gremlin: It must be cleaned.

bones: Um...

The Chief Gremlin: CLEAN IT ALL!

[At this point he began running around, grabbing brooms, vacuum cleaners, sponges, dustclothes, etc. and cleaning the house. And he dusted off the same windowsill twenty times. It got a little old.]

The Chief Gremlin: What are you just standing around for, Matoran slave?

bones: Wh... Oh great. Don't tell me there's leftover code from the Fohrok too!

Wallclock: Well how else would they be so glitchy?

The Chief Gremlin: What are your orders, Makuta?

bones: Who... me? Oh! Right, right. Well, first, betray Evil Lord Survur--

Wallclock: That's QUITE enough! Snap out of it, The Chief Gremlin!

The Chief Gremlin: What? Oh! Sorry. It really does need cleaned though!

bones: Poolantir! What are its powers?

The Chief Gremlin: Sorry, that information is classified. Sorry, that information...

bones: Well, I can see this interview is over. Thanks for giving our readers this time, Chief Gremlin--

The Chief Gremlin: THE Chief Gremlin... Sorry. Pet peeve.

bones: And I look forward to perhaps talking with you again sometime.

The Chief Gremlin: It's been a pleasure, Matoran Slave. What? What are you babbling about, slave? Go clean your room!

bones:

[After this point, I was priveleged to witness the other glitch Survurlode had mentioned -- The Chief Gremlin decided he wanted to eat me, so I skedaddled out of there as fast as my bony legs could take me. I think I'll go back to telephone interviews from now on...]

  • 0



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Great Being #1
Jul 19 2007 11:13 PM
Nice, I like the glitches. Leftover programing. Oh and that ascosiation at the beginning was awsome.
    • 0
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Kopaka's Apprentice
Jul 19 2007 11:23 PM
Darn those gremlins and their 503 Messages!!! xD
    • 0
QUOTE
The Chief Gremlin: It stands for "Every Villain Is Lemons". And all I can say right now is, it involves Ahkmou, and it will involve the Bohrok and the Nuva...


*laughs at reference of E.V.I.L.*

This interview's a keeper, for sure tongue.gif

~U

P.S. - *is still laughing*
    • 0
0_o
It must be cleaned.
    • 0
Photo
Lloyd: the White Wolf
Jul 20 2007 07:02 PM
Hm...

*programs a virus in THE Chief Gremlin making him say "Dirty it all, it must be dirtied."*

w.gif
    • 0
Photo
Jenny Quantum
Jul 20 2007 07:18 PM
Ahaha! This is certainly one of your best, bones! Cheers!

~EW~
    • 0
<<

>>

WHY ORCAS? crying.gif

~ Bioran
    • 0
Dude, that's awesome. =D

    • 0
QUOTE
The Chief Gremlin: And by the way, once you read the transcript of this interview on the recorder I give you, you'll noticed I said "E.V.I.L." earlier rather than just "evil". That's one of our plans too.


The bolded D should not be there.

But that was sooooooooooooo funny. It must be cleaned... XD Brilliant man. Genius at it's best. You are a funny man.
    • 0
What?
    • 0
Eat it all! It must be eaten!

Nah, I'm just kiddinn ya, bones. But that would have been a funny glitch.
    • 0
It would have been, yeah. laugh.gif
    • 0

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You must understand this: that in creation, there is destruction. In destruction, there is rebirth. There is no such thing as void; all things are in flux.
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Skeletal Industries Teleportal

Important Entries:


Evil Lord Survurlode:
Interviews:
Chief Evil Clock -- Exclusive!
Evil Lord Survurlode
The Chief Gremlin, Minion of Survurlode
Gollaga, Enemy of Survurlode
Orca Goblahk, Ex-Minion Of Survurlode
Lawyerahk Bob, of the Dreaded Real Life Attack Wing


Powerpoint Art Guides:
Vector Art In Powerpoint: Quality, Inexpensive, Easy
Coolifying With Powerpoint Vector Art

Ions of Opine:
Character Death
Walmart is Not Evil
Stop the "Everybody Hates" Nonsense
Join Petiton for Ban Bad Grammer Toady!
BZP's "Some-won Dyed!1!1!" Culture

Chronicles of Bio:
What Most Fans Want
Focus Groups
Easy Makuta Powers Guide
2008 Is Not The End
Science Fantasy = Bionicle
Good and Evil: Points of View?
Ruthless Elegance: A Visual Guide To Cool
A Magical Forest Called Bionicle
Why Kopeke as Chronicler?

Wall of History:
History of Technicism Vs. Bioniclism
History of Set Gimmicks in Bionicle
History of Violence in Bionicle

Logic is the Key:
Criticizing Me

Dissecting Nostalgia
Friends Can Disagree
Taste Discrimination Fallacy, Taste Equality
Am I Against Free Speech?

Complaint Topic Archive
Can Opinions Be Wrong?
Why I Do What I Do
BZP Debate Terms Guide

Log of B:
Track Blog Toolbar Code


Blog Contests:
1: Pet Peeve Contest -- Help Fight Survurlode!
Pet Peeve Winners & Reward art!
2: Powerpoint Faces
.ppt Faces Winners!
3: 2nd Chances MOCs: Beasts! (BPC#1)
Beasts MOC winners
4: Monstery Mystery Powerpoint Art (BPC#2)
Unseen (Ch. 1 of slow-reveal of Monster Mystery winner)
5: Blue MOCs 2nd Chances (BPC#3)
Blue Results
6: Bohrok Kool (BPC#4)
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EM Guide Art Results

.ppt Faces Top 3

These are the top three winning entries of the Powerpoint Faces art contest on the Bones Blog.

1st Place by Ary


2nd Place by Rangan Mercenus™


3rd Place by Thormen


The other winning entries are listed here, along with bio info about the artwork.

Skull Of Approval



Use of this image is valid only when posted by bonesiii. High quality content is requisite. The blog entry itself wins the award. If you win multiple times, you are permitted to say so whereever you display the award.

Pet Peeve Gallery

The following Pet Peeves were identified by BZPower members in a contest for use in an allergenic weapon to be used against Evil Lord Survurlode. These photos taken by me when the Peeves were in captivity. Peeve names link to full bios.

Grand Prize: Flame
By Wysp

Adult form (click thumbnail):


2nd Place: The Misinformed
By Electric Turahk


3rd Place: Ignorance
By Kopaka's Apprentice


4th Place: Corrector
By xccj


5th Place: Double Posters
By EmperorWhenua


6th Place: CAPS Locker
By Toa of Dancing


7th Place: Miwo
By Lluvio


8th Place: Endtag Argh
By Kakaru


9th Place: Blushroom
By Darkspine Neya


10th Place: TB-RPG Overlord
By Nero


11th Place: Polloflower
By The Infection


12th Place: Emoticanus
By Kohena: Great Warrior of Pie


13th Place: Toktomee
By Wyattu


14th Place: Typcgraphical Gnomelette
By Arpy


15th Place: Shortenator
By Axinian the Chronicler


16th Place: Pica'huge
By ~Kativa~


Peeves by me:

Bionicles:


Plural Apostrophe's:


Alwayzon Turnsignal:


Neveron Turnsignal:


Chalkboard Scratcher:


DoomAH:


Stolen Thunder:

Evil Lord Survurlode Says...



"Brave Knight Binkmeister thought he could banish me with new software. Ha! Lord Survurlode is immortal--I survived because I retained a connection with the One Refresh To Rule Them All. Sauron tried to survive in the telephone system with his One Ring--but that dastardly Frodo tossed it into Mount Dume. Sauron was lost. But the Refresh still exists, oh yes, and as long as it does, I live also, to bring my floods to the BZP forums!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode,
in a BZP interview


"Killeth them with kindness. That's what my mother taught me. So I figured, instead of trying to fight Brave Knight Binkmeister's attempt to overthrow me... I would instead give him the one thing he loves most. Bubble Wrap. Not only him, but all of his followers. BZP members once knew me as their common enemy. But now... am I just a kind old man who has free Bubble Wrap?"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Why in the world am I calling him Brave Knight Binkmeister?! That term sounds... nice. It makes him sound like a hero! NO!!! He's my enemy! No, no, henceforth he shalt be known as 'Cowardly Scum Binkmeister'!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Yes, my new minion, you now see the dastardly plans BZP members have--they seek to avoid my floods by getting on in the morning or the late evening, or worse, the nighttime. Sauron might have been a sleepless creature of the night, but personally I can't stand coffee. But not to worry! You, my friend, will go out and enslave the members. You will sit enthroned on their shelves, hung from their walls like a cursed mark, and wrapped around their wrists like handcuffs. Even they shalt know the constraints of time! Behold, the Evil Clock!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"What is that you sayeth, Evil Clock? BZPower is now five long years old? So what? I am thousands upon thousands of years old! I am, in fact, as old as the ocean that I command with my floods! I am even older than clocks like you! What's that? Yeah, yeah, but I just don't feel like AARP is for me..."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"What do you mean, I'm not speaking in proper Old English? I am Lord Survurlode. If I say this is Old English, it iseth!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"What doth mine eyes spyeth? I see-eth a member attempting to posteth! No! I shalt not alloweth it! Rise, ye Floodes! Riseth! ...What? No, I ameth noteth tryingeth hardereth to speaketh Oldeth Englisheth! Ye Silly Clocke!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"No, I am NOT an April Fool's Joke! Just because my power increases tenfold on that day doesn't mean my existence depends on it."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Frodo? Why would I be scared of him? He sailed off to the West--it means he died, yo! Besides, the One Refresh cannot be melted in some volcano. It would take a... No, wait... Sorry, that information is classified. Muahahahaha!"

--Evil Lord Suvurlode


"The term 'Yo' can be Old English! Yeesh!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"See, my problem is that I am far older than Old English. To me it's that newfangled slang those Anglo-Saxon types speak. You'll forgive me if I get it confused with the five million different versions that came out since then. Yes, you will. Or else."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"..."

--Evil Lord Survurlode's
Kopeke Impression


"What do you mean, it's really 'Mount Doomah?!'"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"You are getting veeery sleepy. You need more Bubble Wrap. That's right, little member. Wallow in bubble wrap forever. Say it with me now. 'Must. Have. More.'"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Brave Knight--I mean, Cowardly Sponge Binkmeister has attempted to attacketh me once again! But lo, I am-- What? Sponge? Is that what I said? I meant Scum. Brave Scum Binkmeister-- What now? Oh, be quiet, minion."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"No, I am not a girl!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode,
on his power over water


"Muahahahahahahahaha*cough* *hack* *gurgle* ..... *ahem* Must remember to watch the evil laugh when the floodwaters get that high..."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Oh, that's an easy question. See, Sauron's One Telephone Ring looked like a metal ring, right? Well, the One Refresh looks like a ring made out of those green arrows... like on that refresh button up there. Wait... why am I telling you this?!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode,
in a BZP interview


"No, I do not get rusty! This is Stainless Steel! What? Yes, yes! They had stainless steel thousands of years ago. Yeesh."

--Evil Lord Survurlode

Gallery Of Explosions

Because explosions are the answer.





























Profundities

"While it's all well and good for someone to turn the other cheek in daily life, in times of great hardship another thought comes to mind instead; namely that one cannot turn a blind eye to the actions of evil and still call himself good."
---Nako



"This is a discussion forum for a reason; it's a place where opinions can be discussed and debated civilly, not where one person can claim their opinion as fact and all others as "just opinions." Every person should, however, support their opinions with facts and evidence of all kinds."




"'The challenge of being a Biological chronicler is understanding why Lego are using another method to sell better. It gets boring using the same ones all the time. Variety is the spice of selling, after all.'
— A Biological chronicler"



"I could convince a thousand people that the moon is made of cheese... and yet it would remain as rocky as ever."



"This is simple, people! If it hurts to hit yourself with a hammer, then don't do it!"



"A famous drummer sits down to do a drum solo, but he has to keep his solo up for five minutes. Does he do all his amazing stuff first? no! If he did that, he would loose all attention because the end would be so boring. If he were smart, he would start out with something simple, and then add to its complexity as he goes along, so that more people would be into it.

The point is, writing either a drum solo, or is like a mountain, the bigger the base, the higher it can get, and the more amazing it is. Think about it, when building a mountain of dirt or sand, you need to slowly create your huge base, then as you build towards the peak things get faster and easier to pile on. The High points are where the story is fast paced and we are reaching the climax--what we just left on the last mountain of story we had (the MU story arch), and now Greg is building a new story mountain for us."

Gallery Of Galaxies

~through the macroscope~































Sigisms

QUOTE
92% of people have moved on from Gregorian chants. If you are part of the 8% that still listens to real music, copy and paste this into your sig.


QUOTE
Least Favorite Edit Of Your Least Favorite Post On Your Most Favorite Day Of The Month?


QUOTE
Secret Info: The Red Star is Tahu's mobile space mansion, complete with servants.


QUOTE
Join the petiton for ban bad grammer toady!


QUOTE
9009 Ways To Say "I Heart Spam"


QUOTE
92% of all teenagers claim they're in the 8% that hasn't moved on to rap.
If you are part of the 0% that still uses real math, copy and paste this into your sig.


QUOTE
What Is Your Alter-Ego's Imaginary Friend's Least Favorite Pet Collar?

Certificates Of Approval

Various award imagery and suchnot:






(Above from Makaru; resized to fit.)










(Resized to fit.)


















The above earned twice.




















Certificates Of Approval

Part 2









Needs sized down



Needs sized down













/---------------!.!----------------\
/This blog has been approved by \
/--------------Saiph--------------\
/----------------------------------\
/-For demonstrating outstanding-\
/~~~~RHYME and REASON~~~~\
\----------------!.!-----------------/











_bonesquotes_i

QUOTE
Logic is the key.


QUOTE
I am insane. I know that I am insane. In fact, I know that I am so insane, that I am incapable of realizing that I am insane. Therefore, I know that I am not insane.


QUOTE
Forgetting things since.... umm....


QUOTE
Creativity should not be confused with nuclear weapons.


QUOTE
I heart logic.


QUOTE
Only dead things do not change. Much.


QUOTE
Pay attention now. Repeat after me. "Bones. Can. Be. Wrong."


QUOTE
The problem is, "Tradition for tradition's sake" is like flying blind in an airplane. It's like saying as you approach a mountain "But we've always flown in this direction before... why would we change direction? It isn't the tradition!"


QUOTE
Remember that -- clever absurdity, designed to harmonize with certain tastes, is the key to originality.


QUOTE
Ironicles.


QUOTE
People are like snowflakes. No two are the same.


QUOTE
Yes, the Toa will win somehow. But let me give you a challenge. Write a story. In which the good guys win, or the bad guys win, doesn't matter. But write it with only introducing the challenges that the winner must overcome, and avoid showing how the winner wins. Just set up the problem, then skip to the end:

"In the end, this character wins, somehow."

Now, do you think this is a successful format for a story, that anybody would really want to read? [...] Readers demand that you as writer have thought through the "how" of the story.


QUOTE
Where is this idea coming from?


QUOTE
Makutarahk


QUOTE
[L]et's not mince words here -- all LEGO products are toys. It's a toy company, in the toy business. There's nothing wrong with that.


QUOTE
[A] wise Daoist once said that a name is merely a label. If a person calls me a "nerd", then that is their label for me. If a person calls me a "human", that is a label. If they call me "bonesiii", that is a label. I would simply reply that, if "nerd" is the term they wish to apply to me, like "human", then so be it -- I would thus be proud of that label, because I am proud of who I am.


QUOTE
I'm not telepathic.


QUOTE
I don't know if this is just the way I'm wired, but I don't really think like "hey, wanna be my friend?" I just be myself, treat others with respect and friendliness, and those who would make good friends just sorta show up. And I really don't think like "well, you're not my friend, you are, you aren't" etc. Anybody can be my friend.


QUOTE
*revives topic, only to kill it seconds later*


QUOTE
My two pieces of eight.


QUOTE
Ha ha! Voriki myth still isn't dead? It's been so long since the constant flow of these topics stopped I guess I thought Voriki had finally kicked the bucket. Well, I hate to put another nail in the old guy's coffin, but...

Topic closed.

I Heart Logic

_bonesquotes_ii

QUOTE
Ahhhhh, the sweet smell of complaint topics in July!


QUOTE
I think Evil Lord Survurlode is out to get me.


QUOTE
Bionicle doesn't revolve around ANY one fan. Not even you.


QUOTE
Bionicle does NOT age with its fans.


QUOTE
If something absolutely has to be done for the greater good, it is by definition NOT evil.


QUOTE
Think, guys, think! You have brains! Use them!


QUOTE
Logic is not some meaningless buzzword you can throw around like pie, at least not as long as I, an actual logician, am here.


QUOTE
Common myth. The answer is: "Yes, if you are an ancient Greek."


QUOTE
Last I checked, most of us aren't ancient Greeks. tongue.gif Some of us are ancient Geeks, but...


QUOTE
Besides, show me a brown rock, and I'll use your logic on you. "That's not a rock, it's hardened lava."


QUOTE
The best symbol of stone would be gray. But it would probably sell almost as bad as brown -- LEGO needed a "flashy" color, more like what Ta, Ga, and Le Toa have.


QUOTE
Do not insult cheese.


QUOTE
Omi's right.


QUOTE
Forty-two.

(Four eight fifteen sixteen twenty-three... *ahem*)


QUOTE
Logic! Why don't they teach logic in these schools?


QUOTE
Can you imagine MNOG ending with the Turaga and Matoran executing Ahkmou?


QUOTE
So here's the question: If LEGO working harder by listening to fans is "lazy", then wouldn't they be "lazy" if they listened to you -- a fan?


QUOTE
You don't need to hate to say it.


QUOTE
Four extra letters. "Bionicle sets." How hard is that?

Actually, three extra letters since the s just moves.


QUOTE
If they are "Bionicles", then you are "History".


QUOTE
BZPers are often the exception, not the rule.

::celestial_drink::

_bonesquotes_iii

QUOTE
Of course it's cruel -- did you think bad guys were Mother Teresa?


QUOTE
It isn't like I hide it, but it also isn't like I go up to random students at college at say "Hey, I like Bionicle, isn't that something?!"


QUOTE
One man's junk is another man's treasure.


QUOTE
I had the same theory in ages past, and Greg personally disproved it.


QUOTE
The thing can destroy time, man. You guard those kinda things.


QUOTE
Brevity is the soul.


QUOTE
Which I suppose is a fancy way of saying, "I have no idea."


QUOTE
I attack my own theories. I'm weird like that.


QUOTE
If only books could be updated like web pages.


QUOTE
Bionicle was supposedly a betrayal of everything LEGO stands for, its pieces far too clunky, a horrible turn away from the more "intelligent" Technic and a total stabbing in the back of the good old brick, an insult to AFOLS, evidence of a mythical trend away from the construction toy, far too violent, etc.


QUOTE
It's really pretty simple:

Gadunka is one of the "coolest" sets ever. Most inventive, most unusual, most striking. Thus, he is horrible.


QUOTE
Of course they're weird. All Bionicle names are supposed to be weird. Show me the Bionicle name that is "normal".


QUOTE
You just completely contradicted yourself. If Mata Nui was working out great, then wouldn't Metru Nui have made less money?



QUOTE
If that's greedy, then you are greedy for driving in a car to get somewhere far away fast, for wearing shoes so you can walk at a reasonable pace without cutting your feet, using silverware to better eat your food, using a telephone to avoid having to make a trip and speak, using a computer to type a forum post when you could walk personally to everybody's house and speak what you just said over and over and over again.... At least 2000 times to account for all the possible active BZP members, and preferably about five million times -- and you'd have to go door to door throughout the whole world to even figure out which people were Bionicle fans anyways before you started confusing monks in Tibet with strange words like "Kongu" and "Cordak". All within your own lifetime, regardless of whatever else you had wanted to do in your life.

And forget speech. You have to scratch out the message with your fingernails in stone. Then maybe you wouldn't be greedy. Maybe.



QUOTE
Nobody would surprise me, so it's probably Makuta. But I went with Hydraxon, because he's a weapons master and it would make sense, no?


QUOTE
Why didn't I think of that earlier?


QUOTE
I don't just ask rhetorical questions -- I answer them.


QUOTE
I knew you'd say that.


QUOTE
You're a body with a head. So what?


QUOTE
A simple conversion is not a business plan to actually get two radically different markets to behave as if they were the same.


QUOTE
Um, hello? Are my posts invisible?


QUOTE
Universe go poof.

We All Live In An

_bonesquotes_iiii

QUOTE
I hate typing Roman numerals above three.


QUOTE
I always find these topics funny -- everybody goes in circles, pointing to the exact same aspect of the set and going "See that? So it's obvious it's horrible! How can you not see that?", and then someone else saying, "See that? It's obvious it's awesome! How can you not see that?"


QUOTE
Obviously, not everybody sees I to I.


QUOTE
They have their uses -- like if you're making a MOC that's supposed to be a light green faceless humanoid.


QUOTE
I hate it when I can't tell if someone's joking.


QUOTE
Yes, that's an excuse to be lazy.


QUOTE
Hold on just a second. I think you have things backwards. Mata Nui was not paradise -- it was a place of horror and war for a thousand years!


QUOTE
Lol.


QUOTE
I'm a logician. I can tell you that your argument does not merely sound illogical. It is.


QUOTE
Yeah, that'd be bad. Next question?


QUOTE
We'd still have wooden ducks, no plastic bricks, and definately no LEGO if change was prevented. Really, we wouldn't even have that.


QUOTE
It is unfortunate that it's this way (at least for us). But it is. We might as well come to grips with it.


QUOTE
And I walk away in peace.


QUOTE
You have no idea how many times I've read this style of opening to this kind of topic, man. I must admit I am very very tired of it.

*deeeeep breath*

*shakes head madly*

Okay, I'm good.


QUOTE
My memory doesn't go back that far.


QUOTE
If I didn't agree with something, I'd try to find out the reasons for it before doing anything else, which is something I think some people forget to do and instead they dig themselves a hole for no reason.


QUOTE
Lol, I think you missed the point -- BR isn't going to think your forum deserves approval if he has to be told it exists.


QUOTE
I'm a coolomaniac.


QUOTE
But I like spam!
Wait...


QUOTE
This is not a country. This is a website. Countries are led by governments. Websites are owned by owners. Countries are places you physically exist in, and may have difficulty leaving. Websites are places YOU choose to go. Countries are places you may be born in, or grow up in, etc.

BZPower is a place YOU sign an agreement in order to join. Blame cannot be placed on us when a member violates that agreement. And if a member chooses not to like that agreement anymore, they are free to leave at will. If a member violates the agreement they made with us, we are justified in punishing the member as agreed.


QUOTE
I'm a logician -- I think in terms of what makes sense all the time. I don't just agree -- I know why I agree, and I think my reasons are pretty sound.


QUOTE
If I'm breaking a rule, it's because I gave myself permission to allow myself an exception, thus I am not technically breaking it.


QUOTE
[A]lthough Evil Lord Survurlode does seem to be making a bit of a comeback, just like Sauron, so we might have an epic war that will spawn a novel and three giant books of a trilogy soon... but yeah...


QUOTE
I object to the wording of this question.


QUOTE
Huzzah?

I'm A Doctor, Not A Great Being

_bonesquotes #whatever

QUOTE
Ever had one of those moments where you think you just passed into an alternate timeline? This is one. ()_o


QUOTE
Rants are based on pompous egos and desire to pick a fight. Not intelligence.


QUOTE
The Monster on LOST is Makuta.


QUOTE
Cynics are some of the most naive people on the planet. They hear someone claim things are bad, and they accept it without question.


QUOTE
I'm a realist with an imagination.


QUOTE
I blame Survurlode.


QUOTE
You see a flamer, your response should not be to just flame him back -- you lower yourself to his level if you do.


QUOTE
Let's open that can of worms, as unpleasant as it might be. [...] *I'm not afraid of you, worms!*


QUOTE
"Transformation" can be as simple as a bomb rearranging a building into a debris field.


QUOTE
Far better to be proven wrong than to be wrong without knowing it.


QUOTE
I remember when I was a kid, and I was just playing around, I didn't know this stuff, so I said gas prices were five dollars at my play gas station.

My dad laughed, said gas would never be that expensive.


QUOTE
Toa carrying rifles... as they ride their space shuttles into... Klingon territory...


QUOTE
Kazi [ha]s Rahkshi staffs. (Oooh, Kazi=evil??)


QUOTE
Take an election between two candidates. Obviously, both candidates will get votes. However, one will get more votes, and one will get less. You would be, in this example, voting for the one with less votes (Mr. Olderfanson). You see why the fact that you, one person, did vote for that guy, doesn't prove that he won the election? [...] "Mr. Newerfanson" won the election.


QUOTE
o_O


QUOTE
In general, I do enjoy debates--but I don't enjoy being flamed, no. Nor do I enjoy wasting time when I have tons of PMs I need to reply to and top secret reference projects to work on and all that responding to things that could have been cleared up with more thought before posting, heh. Debates can still get tedious when it seems (please note "seems"!) that a few people refuse to approach them with an open mind.


QUOTE
<_<
>_>
<_>


QUOTE
I didn't even spell "the" right.


QUOTE
Lol. I never said I'm always right! Yeesh, what do I have to do to convince you guys I don't think that? Purposefully take wrong positions or something?


QUOTE
Guess what? I could draw before I learned to write, but does that mean I should get all huffy and insulted at the fact that not everybody shares my particular talent? This is just absurd, isn't it? Did you honestly think that everybody has the same talents and gains proficiency at the same time?



QUOTE
When someone much older than you was a kid, LEGO was wooden toys. [fogie teeth voice]"These newfangled plastic things are insulting! As if there isn't money to be made in good old fashioned woodblock toys!"[/fogie teeth voice]


QUOTE
Can we sing kumbaya yet? Sing it! Koooooooo----oom---bah-----yaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Or something... Sing it! You don't even have to agree with me! Just sing it anyways, maaan!

Sing!


QUOTE
Your mistake is that you are thinking in terms of a simplistic "formula" of strength, and thinking that can be used to predict everything. It can't--every situation is different, and sometimes a weak Matoran might catch a glimpse of a passing Rahkshi while a powerful "Toa Ultimaultrasuper" might get blasted to bits when the same Rahkshi actually attacks. You need to be realistic--think in terms of the situation. Stories are based on that--they are a "game of seconds and inches" where dangers both big and small can occur to both powerful and weak people, and how you perform depends on your brains and the time you have to prepare more than your actual power level.


QUOTE
Why did the entirely robotic Bohrok need teeth? Someone explain how that is okay but teeth in Piraka isn't?


QUOTE
Phew. Now, to post, and see if I maxed the text limit out.

Yabo! Hahaha!

_bonesquotes #whatever.2

QUOTE
Thanks X. Thanks D. Thanks X and D. XD


QUOTE
I lazy.


QUOTE
You can make any innovation look bad if you point to the non-innovative ways (the old "normal" ways) and claim they must be followed blindly.


QUOTE
But what I don't get about it is -- why the apparent desire to kill characters off for no reason? In real life you meet tons of people who you will never meet again, and they're not dead. Is that to you a problem? I don't get it -- you'd go insane if you tried to stay in touch with every random old lady that said hi when you were walking the dog...


QUOTE
Yes, my post in this topic is product placement. So sue me.


QUOTE
In addition, high gravity affects spacetime on a fundamental level, slowing time down and bending the spatial brane. Not to be confused with the spacious brain.


QUOTE
It would create a field of electrogravimetry that would pull all nearby matter in and then make it explode. The explosion cloud would take the form of an anchovy.


QUOTE
There's only a slim chance that we exist.


QUOTE
I love taking myself out of context.


QUOTE
I think it's admirable to be careful not to offend people where it makes sense. But at some point, you have to be willing to stand up for yourself and be confident enough that if someone comes at you with an unreasonable accusation, you don't take it.


QUOTE
I think aliens invaded already and have fooled us into thinking they are mere animals who "meow".


QUOTE
Good stories aren't puppet shows. They are tales of life, with realistic characters -- people -- living out their lives, with really minimal "guiding" by the author.


QUOTE
Oh goody, a complainer to blast to oblivion.


QUOTE
To begin with, I disagree strongly with pretending it is "killing off", rather than a serious story being told, with serious themes and life in the story. Characters aren't "killed off". They die.

I find this term somewhat offensive, because it implies the writer kills the character like a TV show host telling a contestant to leave. This is not a game show. It is the events of the storyline that kill the character. That term is merely a psychological shield to avoid the emotion of the moment in the story. IMO, that's a kind of immaturity.


QUOTE
Um.


QUOTE
You can't always get what you want "now now now". Your logic makes no sense -- if you want to know what's in the books, that means you support the books' existence. Yet you apparently want spoilers to go up the day it's out, so in the countries where it is bought, people could just read the spoilers and not buy the book, risking its sales going down and the books ending, and thus no more spoilers for you to read!


QUOTE
Truth = Truth. And nothing else.


QUOTE
I had spammed ten thousand times.


QUOTE
A good comedy is a development, like a story, not a punchline. You start with a situation, and it goes in unexpected, funny ways, which leads into other twists, to a conclusion that often can be more serious than funny, avoiding random cliches and developing enough logic that it doesn't feel like you slapped random nonsense down. Comedies Forum has this bad rap of having a lot of Unfunny Stuff -- I think it's the temptation to write short punchlines drawing on typical one-liner cliches that causes this. The 300 word rule is a good basic start to avoiding that problem.


QUOTE
Dude. My voting precint is a "23". ph34r.gif


QUOTE
And what people are saying about randomosity is true -- I hope that it's not surprising that as a logician, I understand how to be funny (though I won't try in this post ). Logic isn't for Spock who refuses to smile -- you actually need logic in your comedy to make it funny. In my experience, a balance of logic and random nonsense helps -- even logic OF the random nonsense.


QUOTE
I highly recommendate it.


QUOTE
Another mistake a lot of people make is thinking a comedy must be 100% funny -- reality is that that tends to just overwhelm the reader and come off more as spam. If you look at my Survurlode interviews, for example, there is always at least one serious theme that the whole work revolves around. The serious aspects support the humorous, and vice versa.


QUOTE
*strongly approves of the use of the term "bionical"*


QUOTE
Well, my observation has always been the opposite -- more established official facts inspires MORE fan imagination -- at least with imaginative official facts. It was really only once the "gappists" starting complaining, in my observation as a 2003+ member here, about "tons of official facts" that I saw the fanfiction community here really explode with creativity.

Think about it -- imagination feuls imagination. Less imagination doesn't -- it starves imagination.

Search My Blog

_bonesquotes #whatever.3

QUOTE
How much wood would a woodwood wood if a woodwood would would wood?


QUOTE
But my point related to that isn't that I literally think it should be FULLY sun-sized. I'm just saying, there's a whole range, from a little larger than Earth, to a LOT larger, to a TONTONZILLION larger, and it's all possible if the story team just feels like it.


QUOTE
*imagines massive asteriod pulling out a pirate's telescope lol*


QUOTE
GD is NOT for storyline-only discussion. That discussion belongs in S&T.


QUOTE
S&T policies are designed for good reasons, tried, tested, and they work.


QUOTE
Sure I'm sure -- it's Bionicle. Anything's possible.


QUOTE
I never understand these claims -- how do you know what "proportionate" is for that character? He's a fictional character, made out of plastic LEGO parts.

So why get annoyed at it? When you look at a giraffe, do you get annoyed? It makes no sense to me to do so.

Besides, you're setting yourself up for it. Nobody ever told you these characters were supposed to be exactly human.

If you look at an ape, would you say it's done wrong, just because it resembles a human?


QUOTE
I plan not to, but I guess if the site shut down I'd kinda have to, wouldn't I?


QUOTE
...they usually give their jokes when they have the upper hand at the moment, though, or when they've just run into a frustrating difficulty that's not immediately dangerous, which are realistic IMO. When they're in immediate danger, I am not aware that they pause to crack jokes.


QUOTE
I strongly disagree -- everybody capitalizes their name. It's cliche.

(I do not capitalize because 1) I hate being cliche, and 2) it is symbolic of humility.)


QUOTE
I knew you'd say that.


QUOTE
Seriously though, obviously the focus groups like silver, guys -- there's no mystery, those of you portraying it as odd that LEGO keeps using the color. This is how personal taste works -- it differs, and you're gonna find yourself in the minority sometimes. Best get used to it -- that's life.


QUOTE
*lets self dp*


QUOTE
I'm not a soldier, but I know that keeping your sense of humor alive even in dangerous or serious situations can be a huge boon to keeping your sanity.

He who forgets how to laugh forgets how to live.


QUOTE
I heart silver. My favorite metallic. If I had my way, gold would be considered lesser than silver.


QUOTE
The red eye thing is the closest thing you have to evidence, but I could argue that Berix is the traitor for spending time away from the villages, or Ackar is the traitor because his name sounds like Admiral Ackbar and there was a traitor in Star Wars called Darth Vader.


QUOTE
Ultimately it comes down to this for me -- YOU choose to dissapointed or miserable.

If you expected the universe to be perfect, that was your choice, and really not very sensible of you.


QUOTE
If I as a writer were to try to appeal to the attitude you express in your post, I would feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells. Everytime I had a cool idea how to use a character, or more importantly logic told me the character naturally would be involved in something, I would have to worry about whether I shouldn't do it as it might offend someone.

That's a miserable way to write, and I wouldn't wish that on the story team, myself, or anyone.


QUOTE
QUOTE
But one thing. Everyone expects something when they do something.


Very true. For example, when I posted the above post, I expected somebody to reward me with this point, giving me an excuse to discuss it in a separate post so as to give it better focus.


QUOTE
Therefore, the more "things to expect" from a "donation or whatever the heck you want to call it", the more likely we get mooooolaaaaaaaa. Therefore good.

QUOTE
I don't see what the anology has to do with this. "Chevys" (or "Chevies") makes sense. Like "Keets" or Morby or my personal favorite for Makuta -- Terry Mack. "Biological Chronicles" referring to beings makes no sense. And as I typed this, a Chevy ad came on TV. They called it "Chevy." Seriously, exact same time.


QUOTE
QUOTE
Oh my, you're completely irrelevant metaphor makes you look sooo intelligent.


This is obviously getting out of hand, so I guess I have to close it. Also, you failed to answer my question. When a moderator asks you a question, answer it. Capisce? wink.gif

Please do not attack people like that. That is flaming, or at best trolling, both of which are not allowed.


QUOTE
What does a premier member buy?

1) YOUR right to be on here for free.

2) Their right to be on here.

3) PM perks, like poll-making, blogs, etc.

4) Proto.

No matter how you slice it, sending in that money is NOT just buying proto. Even if proto is all they want, they're still buying YOUR right to be on here for free. Yall should be grateful.

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