There are only three people in the world who understand the context behind this, and I am one of them.
Click to ToggleParticipate in our raffle!
In first place, with eight votes: PALEO!
In second place, with four votes: REZNAS!
In third place, with three votes: PALEO! (again)
Your prizes will be autographed selfies, featuring exclusive snippets of wisdom.
(I may or may not have ripped off this idea from Windrider.)
Congratulations to the winners and big thanks to all of the fantastic entries - although no one guessed correctly.
It's time for the poll.
Vote for up to THREE explanations of the nature of my status updates. Vote in the comments. You can only vote once.
Voting will end on January 19th at 11:59 PM Eastern. A tiebreaker, if necessary, will be held the following day.
- - - - - - - - - -Entry 1: You have invented a new form of musical notation, which uses syllables to represent notes. Your status updates are in reality short piano pieces.
Entry 2: Written on paper strips are the words. You pull them out of a hat, or several.
Entry 3: You ate a Q-fruit from my garden to gain Qtopian powers.
Entry 4: Sumiki channels the amazing powers of Vezon, Deadpool, Murdock, and The Mentalist to select the exact and precise words and word order needed.
Entry 5: You get them from commercials. Likely, you take every 3rd, 5th or 8th word spoken in the commercial, or something similar. If it was Lhik, it'd obviously be every 13th, not sure what it'd be for you. It's also possible you exclude brand names and the like.
Entry 6: Clearly farm animals communicate these phrases to you in your dreams.
Entry 7: They are all simply part of an algorithm, one so powerful and so intricate, that if coded correctly could ultimately destroy the very infrastructure of this world, which would let Sumiki's roam the earth wreaking havoc wherever they go. Eventually, with Sumiki Prime (the head Sumiki) as their leader, the Sumiki's would rule the world with enmity and violence using farm animals as tools of war. For him to finish these algorithms would essentially foreshadow the dark and merciless future the Sumiki's have planned for us. That is an incredibly scary thought. I pray that the algorithm will never be completed; otherwise, we are doomed.
Entry 8: Surprisingly, it is a simple process that forms highly philosophical messages. Sumiki first takes the first and last notes of a piece by any famous composer (though he is partial at the moment to Chopin), and then converts their tones into a corresponding human pheromone. He then exposes test groups of 400 individuals to this pheromone and records their moods. These moods each have differing corresponding number values on a very special spreadsheet. Sumiki adds these values together and then counts backwards through the Oxford English Dictionary. This is how he obtains the so-called "odd words" in his status updates, so called by those ignorant souls who view his profile with empty minds. He then uses a trained blindfolded Orangutan to pick a book in the Congressional Library and a trained blindfolded spider monkey to pick a page in the book. Sumiki then replaces nouns, verbs and adjectives in that sentence with ones he chose using his pheromone method to convey cryptic snippets of wisdom from his great mind.
Entry 9: They are just random. You try to fool us with a well laid plan. But I see through it. Pure randomness meant to distract us from something far more... less random, as it is clearly a plot of deception designed to ensnare our attention. I applaud your efforts, but you have failed.
Entry 10: Mere mortals cannot comprehend the mental processes of Sumiki because of their fourth dimensional nature.
-Entry 11: Sumiki listens to Broadway play soundtracks and chooses the 42nd word of the first song over 7 minutes. Repeating this process, he gathers enough words to modify sentences from ancient aramaic texts into wise sayings for the modern age.
Some of you may be wondering about me and my sanity due to my various profile updates, which have, as of late, been getting around outside BZP. There's now a Wisdom of Sumiki tumblr and twitter. (I cannot take credit for the operation of either of those accounts.) I also feel as if my activity on here has waned a bit, and I'd like to take a step towards rectifying it. Thus, I decided that it's time for another Blogarithm Contest.
Let's talk about my status updates for a minute - specifically, what's behind them. I'm a simple man, and I like simple, ludicrous status updates. What originally started out as a mashup of whatever surrealist things I came across has taken on a mind of its own.
So let's pretend that these aren't snippets of wisdom that mere mortals are unable to comprehend. Realistically or not, let's assume that there's a pattern here. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is theorize on the nature of my status updates. In other words, tell me how you think I derive them.
You have until January 15th at 11:59 PM Eastern to post your theories in the comments section, and you're allowed to submit up to three entries. After the polls, the winner will be announced on January 19th. The winner will receive a prize.
He's the lord of all strangeness. - Ignika: Nerd of Life
How awesome is Sumiki on a scale of 1 to 10? - Waffles
42. - Black Six
[He's] the king of wierd, the prince of practicality, the duke of durr! - Daiker
Sumiki is magic. - Cholie
Sumiki says, "Do I creeeeeeep you out?" Yes, he does. - Waffles
Sumiki is a nub. He's cool, but he's still a nub. - Ran Yakumo
"What is a Sumiki?" You may ask. But the answer to that is still unknown, even to the Sumiki itself. - Daiker
Ah, Sumiki. - Electric Turahk
LISTEN TO SUMIKI - Cholie
Sumiki is best snickerdoodle. - Takuma Nuva
BZPower = Sumiki + McSmeag + B6. And Hahli Husky. - Vorex
What's a Sumi? Does it taste good? - Janus
I would have thought Sumiki wanted to reincarnate as a farm animal. - Kraggh
EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH - Kakaru
Sumiki: the horse_ebooks of bzp - VampireBohrok
Everything relates to Sumiki. No really, everything. - Daiker
He's in worse mental condition than I thought. - Obsessionist
I'm just wondering why I'm looking at some cat dancing ... I suppose the answer would simply be "Sumiki." - Brickeens
I was like a beast, screaming through the mind of Sumiki at the speed of sound. I.. I wasn't strong enough to stop myself. What I saw was the end of infinity, through which one can see the beginning of time, and I will never be the same. - Portalfig
I imagine the 13th Doctor will be rather like Sumiki, at the rate we're going. - rahkshi guurahk
I was quite sure Sumiki had another set of arms stashed somewhere. - Bfahome
Note to future self: don’t try to predict Sumiki, he’s unpredictable. - Voltex
Let's be honest, I would totally have picked my main man Sumiki to lead my goose-stepping night killers anyway. We tight like that, yo. - Xaeraz
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Every week, I post a new "Tuesday Tablescrap", a small MOC not worthy of a topic, but something to post and inspire me to build more.
10/25/11 - Duplo Flower
11/1/11 - Slender Man and Masky
11/8/11 - Bizarre Black Spaceship
11/15/11 - 2001 Monolith
11/22/11 - My Little Slizer 50
11/29/11 - Punching Bag
12/6/11 - Thunder and Escorts
12/13/11 - Three Concepts
12/20/11 - Kaxium Alternate
12/27/11 - None (Christmas Break)
1/10/12 - None
1/17/12 - Volant
1/24/12 - Nidman's Chute Shoop Shop
1/31/12 - None (Brickshelf down)
2/7/12 - None
2/14/12 - Atomic Lime
2/21/12 - Spearhead
2/28/12 - Glatorian Kahi
3/6/12 - Seeker
3/13/12 - Skyscraper
3/20/12 - Microphone
3/27/12 - Toa Vultraz
4/3/12 - Flammenwerferjüngeres
4/10/12 - Umbrella
4/17/12 - Lime Beetle
4/24/12 - Special - Flame Sculpture
5/1/12 - None (BZPower down)
5/8/12 - Purple Ninja
5/15/12 - The Original Sumiki
5/22/12 - 7/24/12 - None
7/31/12 - Tahu
8/7/12 - None (BrickFair)
8/14/12 - Special - Chess Set
8/21/12 - Heavily Armored Wasp
8/28/12 - Spaceship Drill
9/4/12 - Scuba Vehicle
9/11/12 - Orange Guy
9/18/12 - Strange Flying Thing
9/25/12 - Goblet
10/2/12 - None
10/9/12 - Aim .............................. Down
10/16/12 - Gold Bot
10/23/12 - Teal Mech
10/30/12 - Special - Teal Mech (#2)
11/6/12 - Bits and Pieces
11/13/12 - Two Spaceships
11/20/12 - TARDIS Interior
11/27/12 - Christmas Creep
12/4/12 - Toaraga
12/11/12 - Fireplace
12/18/12 - Abstract Duckling
12/25/12 - None (Christmas)
1/1/13 - Black Bot
1/8/13 - 1/22/13 - None
1/29/13 - Handheld Rhotuka Launcher
2/5/13 - 8/6/13 - None
8/13/13 - The Hinklebot
8/20/12 - Special - Post-Apocalyptic Piyufi
Formerly known as the Bring Back Teal Club, the Unused Colors Society is a club that serves to promote colors that are little-used or discontinued, such as teal, old purple, or metallic blue.
Akuna Toa of Sonics
Popup2: The Camel
~System Of A Down~
Thunder on the Mountain
Toa of Vahi
WORT WORT WORT
Toa Kuhrii Avohkii
Toa Neya 2011 Edition
~prisma son of dawn~
.: WoLVeRINe :.
The Great Forgetter
Thomas the Tank Engine
Oh my miru
Element lord Of Milk.
Lexuk Toa Of Insanity
Michael J. Caboose
Lord Kaitan de Storms
Toa of Dancing
The Oncoming Storm
Toa of Pumpkin
Toa Zehvor Blackout
Lord of Ice
Zarayna: The Quiet Light
Vorex: Keeper of Time
Toa of Smooth Jazz
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If you learn one thing in life, learn this:
You should never, ever question why demons would possess a soda.
just a heads up - Cthulhu would probably eradicate mankind before bringing back Bionicle
so yeah, all I'm saying is, please think twice about this okay
nothing gets democracy flowing like erratic capitalizatION
[the NSA] couldn't say no when I offered them an ostrich farm in exchange
Sumiki -- nice try but we all know Toa Mata Nui stuffs its bra
have we mentioned hats
Shhh, I'm trying to focus on the negative to justify my dislike of history.
Also a long line of really great hats.
You have a great understanding of history, but don't forget, war, murder and other poor decisions are also huge characteristics.
To be fair, I am the one responsible for the invention of Mafia in the 1320s by seventeen bored italians locked in a mine shaft.
It's a long story.