Entry posted by Sumiki
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The Christmas season is upon us once again, and you know what that means: it's time for Sumiki to comment on another creepy Christmas song, this disturbing not due to its implications but because of just the lyrics alone.
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town.
So, we need to watch out (presumably for our own safety) and repress natural emotions because of someone who is coming into the town. Sounds like the bad guy of a Western film. Santa Claus already seems to be an oppressive figure.
But why should anyone listen? After all, Santa's just this old guy, right? He's only human, and presumably slower than most due to his age. Why would he know if your cry and pout? Maybe something really sad happened, and not doing that would be unhealthy? Put on unreasonable airs for a fellow who'll be coming through some time in the future?
He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna find out who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
Ah, so now we're getting to Santa's motives, or at least his chronic OCD. He wants to know who's naughty and who's nice in this particular town. But why does he want to know so badly? What does he need this information for? Moreover, how does he get it? The answer lies in the next stanza ...
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good, for goodness sake!
... which is pretty totalitarian, not to mention very, very creepy. The implication is that Santa must be omniscient, but the song never states this. Like Frosty the Slenderman Snowman, Santa is a stalker. He can't see you all the time when you're awake because he has a better chance of getting caught, but he sees you. When you're asleep. Wow. Furthermore, he stalks you long enough to be able to decide if you are bad or good and add it to one of his lists.
Being bad or good is subjective, depending solely upon the moral compass of the discerning person (i.e. Santa). If Santa is a morally upright individual, then he would be compassionate enough to understand when you're crying or pouting for a legitimate reason and wouldn't stalk you without your express consent. But we can clearly see from the song that Santa is not a nice fellow. Anyone who stalks people for the purpose of arranging people into two categories is not someone I'd want making moral decisions, and thus his lists are not to be trusted.
But what happens after you end up on these lists? After he's compiled the twin lists of all of the good and all of the bad people in this anonymous town, what will he do with them? Sell them to corporations? Hand them over to the NSA? Put them on Wikileaks? On the basis of this song alone, we can never know.
NEXT TIME: SUMIKI GETS PUT ON THE NAUGHTY LIST. NOTHING HAPPENS.
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