How come when you go to a restaurant, the menu can't merely say, "cheeseburger?" They have to get wordy and fancy. I say, go along with them. When you order your food, use their language. Look your waiter in the eye and say, "I'll have the succulent, fresh-ground, government-inspected, choice, all-beef, six-ounce patty on your own award-winning sesame-seed bun, topped with a generous slice of Wisconsin's finest Grade-A cheddar cheese made from only premium milk and poured from large, galvanized steel cans, having originally been extracted from a big, fat, smelly champion blue-ribbon cow with a brain disease."