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Project Protodermis - Characters


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52 replies to this topic

#41 Offline silo

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Posted Feb 20 2017 - 11:14 AM

Ok, thanks, I'll make those changes in a bit :)


Edited by Sil, Feb 20 2017 - 02:21 PM.

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Kathok


#42 Offline The Lorax

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Posted Feb 20 2017 - 06:15 PM

That seems reasonable. Approved.


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#43 Offline silo

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Posted Feb 21 2017 - 02:58 AM

Thanks :D
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Kathok


#44 Offline Ghidora131

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Posted Mar 06 2017 - 09:01 PM

IC: Votadox (Psyker) - Combat Arena

My fingers twitch. In a sickeningly fast instant, my steely death-block is almost charged.


I'm assuming you mean the bludgeon? sorry, I want to make sure I don't mess something up.


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#45 Offline EmperorWhenua

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Posted Mar 07 2017 - 02:37 AM

snip

Hey yo how's it going, buddy. Couple things:

 

1) This would be best as a personal message as it's meant for a single member, and

2) This is the profiles—not discussion—topic, anyway :P 


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 BZPRPG Profiles / BZPRPG Rules and Index / Pictures Topic / NM Q&A 

 

My child, your smile is the strongest weapon.

 


#46 Offline Ghidora131

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Posted Mar 07 2017 - 11:35 AM

 

snip

Hey yo how's it going, buddy. Couple things:

 

1) This would be best as a personal message as it's meant for a single member, and

2) This is the profiles—not discussion—topic, anyway :P

 

Sajhasibasufnsfnfjsfubslfsvsjb jsbhsbfsfbslkjfbnjsfbjhsbfujyslbfjbfbsjfbsebfuysfbiefiueiubbfbfkbafaebfjhabbwad.

 

my error


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#47 Offline Drakua Toa of Rahi

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Posted Mar 15 2017 - 08:03 PM

Name: Konu-To

 

Codename: Abominable

 

Species: Modified Rahi

 

Appearance: http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Drakua/Creations/img_0955.jpg

 

Powers: 

  • Absorption of Ice – Abominable can absorb ice elemental attacks.

     

  • Temperature manipulation – Konu-Ra in the wild have been observed to somewhat influence the weather to some degree simply with their presence, but not to the extent of which Abominable is capable of. It is thought that it has the capacity to freeze entire city blocks solid when enraged, though this is an unlikely scenario, as Konu-To has had very little practice with its own powers.

 

Backstory: 

The first thing of note when it comes to Abominable is its reputation on the Northern Continent of the Matoran Universe. For a period of 400 years, the being now known as Abominable was once a Konu-Ra, a frost ape, infamous for its attacks on local villages. A rahi far from its home, it was brought, along with others of its species, to the Tren Krom Peninsula by Skakdi raiders. It does not remember quite why they brought them there, the location was the exact opposite of its preffered climate. Perhaps as a joke? Nevertheless, for those first few years in its new home it was starved, beaten and forced to watch as its brothers and sisters fell in battles it wanted no part in. Soon, however, the Skakdi were driven off by local Toa, and the Konu-Ra would find itself alone. As it scavenged the peninsula, it would often find itself abused by the matoran that called this hellscape home. Eventually, the abuse grew too much, and the frost ape decided to give its tormentors their just desserts.

For 100 years, the beast would drag would-be attackers away to its den, beating and battering them for days on end before stripping them of their armor and leaving them rot, just as the Skakdi once did to its brethren when they tried to resist. It was strangely satisfying to the Konu-Ra. All this time away from home, yearning for justice, and now it had a path.

As time went on, the rahi began to become more ruthless, attacking villages directly and destroying as much as it could before Toa eventually showed up and drove it off. By the end of that 100 years, the beast had earned a name for itself as the Ravager of Tren Krom. This, of course, peaked the interest of those who visited, and soon the rahi found itself hunted. It was captured, and sold to the highest bidder.

That was how it ended up being shipped to Odina, sold to a curious Dark Hunter who wished to make the beast his own. The Konu-Ra was experimented on, tested to its absolute extreme and—when it came time—exposed to energized Protodermis. When all was said and done, Konu-To was born. The Dark hunter who had rebuilt it, eager to show someone his prize, brought the beast before the Shadowed One. The Hunter leader was not initial interested in the pointless experimenting of one mad scientist, at least not until Konu-To ripped apart its handler in a righteous fury. Amused by this, The Shadowed One half-jokingly asked the creature what it truly wanted. To his surprised, it answered.

“Home...”

 

Tools:

  • A back-mounted supercharger which fuels Its temperature manipulation powers. When energized, it allows Abominable to change the environment of battle to its needs. Overuse and overcharging of the device may cause it to overheat, thus rending Abominable’s powers inert.

     

  • Sub-zero Claws – Abominable likes to keep Its claws at sub-zero temperatures that—if dug into organic material—can cause near-instantaneous frostbite in the victim. Abominable is so named for the use of this tactic; It appears to enjoy watching the suffering of its prey as they thrash about in pain.

 

Skills: 

Its species is assumed to have once been that of the Konu-Ra, a frost ape known to inhabit the Northern Continent that prey on small rodents and birds. This is a thought born of Konu-To's seeming resemblance to the species given its long spindly arms and almost unnatural agility. As the Dark hunter known as Abominable, Kone-To makes for a good interrogator, knowing just how to hurt the suspect and where. In addition its temperature manipulation powers make for good area-control, allowing itself and allies to take the advantage in fight.


Edited by Drakua Toa of Rahi, Mar 16 2017 - 06:43 PM.

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#48 Offline GoSP

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Posted Mar 16 2017 - 03:43 PM

Hmm... no. Unfortunately, I have to object to this character on a few points.

 

First, the power level: freezing and melting entire cities is rather too much. Entire rooms maybe, but certainly not cities. Dial it back a bit. Also, being able to control temperature while also gaining strength from it immediately suggests the possibility of an infinite loop for infinite strength - a little cold makes him strong enough to generate more cold, which makes him stronger, so things get colder, so he gets stronger, and so on. I cannot allow this.

 

The limitation on that tool is functionally no limitation at all.

 

On to the backstory, where I some confusing things that will need correcting. Why would a Makuta spend four hundred years empowering and perfecting a new creature, and then just let it go after its first big test? Surely they wanted to get some use out of all that effort? Then there's the issue of the Toa - why would a Toa who has captured a dangerous creature immediately turn around and sell that creature to their greatest enemy, who would only use it to do more damage? This sounds like a very amoral and idiotic Toa.

 

Finally, this character seems to have only a single character trait - cruelty. (And an unexplained one at that. Why does it like to be cruel, what made it this way?) A single trait is not enough to define a character - real people are always more than one thing. There is nothing in this profile to tell me how Konu-To might act in the game. How will it interact with the other recruits? What are its habits, motives, goals, values, likes and dislikes? Can it even talk? Real characters, or at least interesting ones, have at least most of these things. They don't just exist just to smash stuff for the evulz.

 

So, to sum up, I have some pretty major issues with this character, all of which will need to be fixed before approval becomes possible. How you do that is up to you.


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#49 Offline Drakua Toa of Rahi

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Posted Mar 16 2017 - 03:57 PM

Hmm... no. Unfortunately, I have to object to this character on a few points.

 

First, the power level: freezing and melting entire cities is rather too much. Entire rooms maybe, but certainly not cities. Dial it back a bit. Also, being able to control temperature while also gaining strength from it immediately suggests the possibility of an infinite loop for infinite strength - a little cold makes him strong enough to generate more cold, which makes him stronger, so things get colder, so he gets stronger, and so on. I cannot allow this.

 

The limitation on that tool is functionally no limitation at all.

 

On to the backstory, where I some confusing things that will need correcting. Why would a Makuta spend four hundred years empowering and perfecting a new creature, and then just let it go after its first big test? Surely they wanted to get some use out of all that effort? Then there's the issue of the Toa - why would a Toa who has captured a dangerous creature immediately turn around and sell that creature to their greatest enemy, who would only use it to do more damage? This sounds like a very amoral and idiotic Toa.

 

Finally, this character seems to have only a single character trait - cruelty. (And an unexplained one at that. Why does it like to be cruel, what made it this way?) A single trait is not enough to define a character - real people are always more than one thing. There is nothing in this profile to tell me how Konu-To might act in the game. How will it interact with the other recruits? What are its habits, motives, goals, values, likes and dislikes? Can it even talk? Real characters, or at least interesting ones, have at least most of these things. They don't just exist just to smash stuff for the evulz.

 

So, to sum up, I have some pretty major issues with this character, all of which will need to be fixed before approval becomes possible. How you do that is up to you.

Welp. Honestly given how powerful official Bionicle characters are normally I thought I was being creative. I guess I may have over-exaggerated his powers and his propensity for violence. I honestly thought given the theme of the RPG I was well within the norm.

Conisdering my only other character idea would break the rule of "No Bohrok" I guess I have some brainstorming ahead of me.


Edited by Drakua Toa of Rahi, Mar 16 2017 - 04:22 PM.

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#50 Offline GoSP

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Posted Mar 16 2017 - 04:11 PM

I'd say your effort and creativity were fine - the execution of the ideas just let you down a bit. A makuta-created freezing powered rahi could be really good, if refined and communicated a little better.

 

You're right that there are some insanely powered BIONICLE characters, but in RPGs we tend to shy away from that, just to make the story a little more interactive. It's not very fun or interesting if Konu-To steps in and melts all of Metru Nui to the ground before anyone can do anything about it, so we don't have nova blasts or similar powers. Instead, he would have to fight and freeze everybody individually, because that would provide some challenge and story value. Its the same with the other characters in this game. Some of them have some very powerful abilities, but those abilities still need to be used with skill and creativity in order to achieve the best results.


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#51 Offline Drakua Toa of Rahi

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Posted Mar 16 2017 - 04:22 PM

I'd say your effort and creativity were fine - the execution of the ideas just let you down a bit. A makuta-created freezing powered rahi could be really good, if refined and communicated a little better.

 

You're right that there are some insanely powered BIONICLE characters, but in RPGs we tend to shy away from that, just to make the story a little more interactive. It's not very fun or interesting if Konu-To steps in and melts all of Metru Nui to the ground before anyone can do anything about it, so we don't have nova blasts or similar powers. Instead, he would have to fight and freeze everybody individually, because that would provide some challenge and story value. Its the same with the other characters in this game. Some of them have some very powerful abilities, but those abilities still need to be used with skill and creativity in order to achieve the best results.

Okay. Thanks for the feedback. I'll be back with a more refined concept soon.


Edited by Drakua Toa of Rahi, Mar 22 2017 - 07:30 PM.

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#52 Offline Drakua Toa of Rahi

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Posted Mar 22 2017 - 07:31 PM

Editting is done, awaiting approval.


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#53 Offline The Lorax

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Posted Mar 26 2017 - 09:46 PM

So, just to clarify Abominable's abilities, it can:

  1. Absorb elemental ice attacks to become stronger, but not normal ice/cold.
  2. Alter the temperature in the area around itself, usually colder, but in either direction with conscious effort, and it is not immune to the effects of these changes.

This seems entirely reasonable to me, and along with the other changes made, make Abominable an acceptable character for Project Protodermis.

 

Approved!


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