Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. The process is easy and you can use your Google, Facebook, or Twitter account to make it even faster. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies and play member and staff-run games
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes, and vote to decide the winners
  • Participate in raffles, including exclusive raffles for new members, and win free LEGO sets
  • Send private messages to other members
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

Posted Image


Exit Number 117

flash fiction contest branching out poem

  • Please log in to reply
1 reply to this topic

#1 Offline Eyru

  • Premier Member
  • Premier Forum Assistants
  • Real Canadian Maple Syrup

  • 13-July 04
  • 4,635 posts
  •   BZP Assistant

Posted Mar 11 2013 - 10:49 PM

Note: "exit number 117" is meant to be read as "exit number one seventeen."


Exit Number 117

Fortnightly Flash Fiction #5: Branching Out


In this wild twisting chasing highway we like to call life

I suppose the first time I found myself facing an impossible choice

Was the midnight I came to exit number 117


And it wasn't the number that made it particularly special

The sign was old and worn and the 7 was sort of scratched

As though a bird had flown into it or something


And the road was cracked and faded and the puddles of

Asphalt I saw in my headlights were gray and older than my parents

I slowed down because I was the only one on the road


It's an interesting moment when you're the only one on the road

Because nobody else can make your choices for you

You can walk on glass if you like, or walk by


The sky was full of stars and a bright moon and planets and galaxies

But I didn't bother looking at them because I was busy

Wondering which way was right for me


You see, my parents always taught me to follow my dreams

And I was sure that my dreams lay farther down the highway

Maybe exit number 200, or number 179, or the place where the asphalt ends


But exit number 117 had a strange charm all the same

The dusty road begged to be travelled

And the darkness beyond the highway begged to be explored


And how is an 18-year-old supposed to know exactly which exit to take anyway?

I guessed that this wasn't my road

But who knew, and did it matter?


So I put it off for another day, put the engine in gear, and my tires squeaked as I

Pulled away from exit number 117

And set my tired eyes back to the highway


The wide road was easier to drive

And easier than thinking about other places I could go

More comfortable than thinking about branching out, diversifying, changing


Because, after all, the easiest road to travel

Is the one I've been driving all my life

And it's simpler to keep exit number 117 in my rearview mirror than to keep it in front of me


But every now and then, I'll feel a twinge of regret

The bite of nostalgia as I look back and think for a moment I see that exit I passed

A faint glimmer on the horizon


It's not there of course: I passed it long ago

And I've never found the time to go back

Who knows if it would even be there by the time I got around to it


Now I'm farther along the highway and it's been a fun ride

But I'll always wonder what lay beyond exit number 117

I guess that's how it works: you choose an exit, or you don't




  • 0




#2 Offline Dual Cee

Dual Cee
  • Outstanding BZPower Citizens
  • Fluidic Master Nuva

  • 22-October 12
  • 1,306 posts
  •   Outstanding BZPower Citizen

Posted Jun 20 2013 - 11:15 AM

It was a good story, comparing life to a road has been done before, but the idea never gets old. Of course this thing didn't contain any grammatical or spelling errors at all. Not even something as small as a typo so yeah, thats good...
So I guess, I'll just comment on things I like, and things that just sounded that slight bit strange, since well, this story was pretty much very good.
In this wild twisting chasing highway we like to call life
Well this is a good introduction to the story, however...
"Chasing" sounds a little odd here, since a road can't really chase right? So I guess I'd be logic to assume that you mean "Changing"
The sky was full of stars and a bright moon and planets and galaxies
The repeating of the "and" sounds pretty, bwa, I know it's a super minor nitpick I just reccommend changing all but the last to comma's. 
That was basicly all the nitpicking I could do. Not my basic ideas:
For some reason I really like the choice of the number 117, it flows well, and well, I just like it, it surely sounds better then just hundred.
I liked how the main character had the choice between nostalgia and the future... It reminded me of my own life, and of the choices I have still to make in the coming future. Well it's always good if you can personalise with a character in the story. And I'm glad for the dude that he actually chose for the future, and the slight regret he felt while making the choise sounded very believable and logicaly.
Now I'm farther along the highway and it's been a fun ride
But I'll always wonder what lay beyond exit number 117
I guess that's how it works: you choose an exit, or you don't
I really liked this ending, no, what do I say, it was downright awesome. It was really easy to get what you meant there, but still it was written in a little poetic way and a combination between poeticness and realism is good.
The choice also resembled real life, and that identification... Is good.
Well yeah, it was a good story, no, it was a REALLY good story. Everthing a good story needs is in this. It was not too long, but also not too short. Grammar and spelling were both ok only two super minor nitpicks.
Way to go man, way to go!
Keep on writing.

  • 0

I'm back!

0 user(s) are browsing this forum

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users