So, I have recently determined that the breathing issues that I have had for numerous years are due in part to a large hummingbird vine growing by my bedroom window. Just handling it causes my breathing to become more labored, something that I'm surprised I never realized before now. So, I've set out on a mission to eradicate this plant and (quite literally) breathe easier.

Easier said than done.

I've done a bit of research, and the plant is officially known as a Trumpet Vine, Latin name Campsis Radicans. I've Googled how to kill the plant, and what I found was quite depressing. As it turns out, it is one of the most hardy plants in New England; it seems that few things short of thermonuclear weaponry can effectively kill it. One site I read even said that to get rid of it, simply rip out all plants in the vicinity and cement over it.

What I have to laugh at is that the plant isn't even native to this region; it belongs in the southeastern US, where people have a hard time even getting them to grow. They don't know just how lucky they are...

This horrid plant has sprouted all across the lawn in that corner of the house, even growing up through our back porch and compromising its integrity. Our current plan is to rip out all of the accursed shoots as well as the mother plant and salt the ground where they're sprouting. If that doesn't work, I think I'll look into the legal repercussions of napalm...

~ Rumpelstiltskin