About a few weeks ago, we got a new computer, loaded with Microsoft's Windows Vista Home Edition. Over last year, there seemed to be plenty of hype surrounding Windows Vista. Microsoft simply wouldn't keep quiet about it, even offering a downloadable demo of the operating system. So, now that Vista has been made widely available, the big question is: Is Windows Vista all it's cracked up to be?

Short answer: No.

Of course, I've had a fair amount of experience with Windows, dating back to my first computer in 1999 (Windows 98 Second Edition, which my father wants to get rid of in favour of the new computer with Vista). They've all had their fair share of problems (Our Windows XP laptop refuses to download anything anymore). Yet I say that Vista is the worst of the lot. I don't care what Microsoft says. Windows Vista is really very pathetic.

Why, I hear you ask? Well, I'll start with security. Microsoft claims that Windows Vista is THE most secure version of Windows ever. It says that you'll have greater peace of mind with Vista around. And yet, just days after Vista's release, I checked a newspaper's website and found about a half-dozen reports of Vista's security leaks and weaknesses. Thus I stand by my statement that Vista has more holes in it than Swiss cheese. If you thought that XP was bad (I think that it is, but at least it's better than Vista), you ain't seen nothing yet.

Microsoft made a major song and dance about Vista's graphics being the best computer graphics in existence. Of course, they forgot to mention that you need to use any version of Vista other than Home Basic (For the record, I use Home Premium) AND you need a fancy graphics card. Something expensive such as nVidia will do nicely. Yet another way to get people to pay more! Microsoft's done it again! Then there's the little matter of Flip-3D: Vista's new way of seeing everything that's open (See one of the pictures below). Big deal. Any nit with Microsoft Paint can skew things like that. (I know. I tried.) For Flip-3D, you again need the aforementined nVidia or ATI graphics card, not to mention Home Premium, Business, Enterprise or Ultimate versions of Vista. Capitalism alert.

Then of course, we get to the fact that Microsoft has taken everything we Windows 95 - Windows XP users know and love, and have decided to hide it to make Vista look 'better'. Menu toolbars (File, Edit, etc.) have been hidden away, and I had to buy one of those For Dummies books to fish it out of Vista's bushes. The Off button on the Start Menu has been changed to a button that makes your computer sleep, while the Shut Down button has been hidden away in an extra menu that few people will ever notice. Media Player has become perhaps the most confusing program ever made, because the Menu toolbar has again been hidden away and replaced with a whole heap of ebon buttons marked "Now Playing", "Sync", "Rip", "Burn" and other cryptic media stuff that no-one will ever use. Outlook Express, the e-mail program, has been pointlessly named "Windows Mail". The Control Panel has been completely reorganised in a way that still leaves me confused, and considering that I'm the one that fiddles with computer settings around here, that's a really bad thing. I don't want to know what went through Microsoft's head when they were designing Vista. Maybe they were thinking "Hey, how about we mess up everything that Windows users have grown to use for years, and lose all our long-serving customers?"

The Internet is my next big complaint. I've got nothing against the Internet, obviously. But every so often, I can be heard complaining about broadband. Broadband is always connected, which can make your computer a sitting duck for spyware. At least with dial-up, you can disconnect it whenever you like. You've just seen five paragraphs of complaints about Vista. So what do you get if you combine Vista and broadband? A whole heap of pain, that's what. You'll have to buy a really good antivirus program if you plan to use broadband Internet on Vista. (You should get an antivirus program even if you're not using broadband or Vista.)

For all you comic and sprite makers, breathe easy: Vista still has Microsoft Paint in it. I find it a little bit blurry. It could just be my graphics, but I viewed comics on it and they blurred something shocking. My suggestion is that you stick to whatever you're used to for spriting. I won't do my comics on Vista. Additionally, you'll find that Paint has been reorganised so that the pallette we're all used to is changed and that it's been glued permanently to the top of your window. It's pretty minor as complaints go, but still a bit annoying.

Finally, my biggest complaint, one that won't affect many of you: Vista refuses to play LEGO Rock Raiders, and probably any older LEGO games as well. I installed it twice and it kept complaining that there was a DLL file missing. I'm going to look into it closer later on, and I'll update here to tell you what to do. It handles the LEGO Star Wars games perfectly, though.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

So there you have it. Windows Vista reviewed in all its uselessness. My advice to you is: Don't buy Windows Vista, no matter how much Microsoft stamps its feet. Stick with you tried-and-true Windows XP. But if you have no choice and you do end up with Windows Vista, I suggest that you buy the book Windows Vista for Dummies (2007, Wiley Publishing). It will help you deal with Vista's whinging and whining. Screenshots coming soon!

Dlakii