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Things You Don't Want To Hear

GMan

Entry posted by GMan

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When the doctor is holding up your newborn child: "Look Ma, no hands!"

 

When you're taking a taxi to an important location and you need to get there quick: "Okay, mister, which way did you want to go, again?"

 

If you're Oprah: "Wait, why are any of us watching this show?"

 

When you're performing heart surgery on somebody: "Hey, doc, this is the wrong patient."

 

Again, when you're performing heart surgery on somebody: "Uh-oh, looks like the anesthetic wasn't strong enough."

 

When you're asking your five-year-old how their day went: "I learned a new word from the bus driver today! He said it a lot of times!"

 

When you've just spent all night studying for the chem test: "We have the history test today, not chemistry."

 

When you're at a fantasy convention full of neurotic fan boys: "I think Eragon isn't a festering sack of plagiarism and Chris Paolini is creative!"<-- Death sentence for whoever says that, really.

 

If you're on a bus crammed with people and another person gets on: "Wow, that was a lot of beans I ate! But I needed them after that sweaty workout at the gym. Which reminds me, I haven't showered in a week!"

 

If you're Tom Cruise: "Wait, why do you count as a person?"

 

When you just finished a meal at a restaurant: "Boy, we've been waiting to get rid of that cheese for years!"

 

 

... That was all just to try to numb the pain I know I am due to suffer today.

 

 

Mother's day. The day you're supposed to appreciate your mother. I'm not worried about that. We got gifts for my mom, and my dad's mom, and we're all fine with that. It's the fact that the house will soon be overcrowded with relatives. Among them small children. *crosses fingers and hopes*

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Bahrag Kal

From a doctor:.......Never saw that before...........

 

Also from a doctor: Heh heh heh, pokey pokey!

 

From a pilot:........Oops.........

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EXTREEEEEME!!!

...You should be preparing, not crossing your fingers. Create a fun game, where they follow the sound of your voice, and they fall over a cliff. Or, see who can juggle knives the longest, and you get to choose you goes first. Or, dies first.

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Beliwa: Toa of Demons

If you're J. K. Rowling:

 

"Wait...where's Mildred Hubble? And why is Miss Hardbroom suddenly Alan Rickman?"

 

If you're Brad Bird:

 

"Wait...there wasn't any Nuclear Bomb in The Iron Man."

 

"Where's the Space-Bat-Angel-Dragon?"

 

"Have you even HEARD of Ted Hughes?"

 

Also if you're Brad Bird, in relation to The Incredibles:

 

"Mr. Bird, I've been reading Alan Moore's Watchmen. I understand that Mr. Moore doesn't take kindly to screen adaptations of his work, no matter how heavily edited. In fact, I think it's the editing he doesn't like."

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GMan
...You just insulted three of my favorite things... And I also like Watchmen, in fact I'm reading it now... EDIT: Wait, hold on, I don't know if you insulted the first two things but... Argh, your 'things you don't want to hear' are poorly written, Beliwa. Very unclear.
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Beliwa: Toa of Demons

Oh, it's all in fun. You insulted Oprah & Tom Cruise, and you're always going on about how much the author of Eragon derives his stuff. In fact, an awful lot of Neil gaiman's brainchild, The Books of Magic, are a contribution to Rowling's work, as well as, in small part, Roald Dahl's The Twits & The Enormous Crocodile.

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GMan
Let's see... Rowling came up with Harry Potter in 1990, and the Books of Magic or whatever were published in 1990 and 1991. And you realize that evil parent/guardian figures are popular in many children's books, don't you? Sounds like the horrific plague of Rabidfanboyitis erased the word 'coincidence' from mind...
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Beliwa: Toa of Demons

Let's see... Rowling came up with Harry Potter in 1991, and the Books of Magic or whatever were published in 1990 and 1991. And you realize that evil parent/guardian figures are popular in many children's books, don't you? Sounds like the horrific plague of Rabidfanboyitis erased the word 'coincidence' from mind...

 

I was more thinking of the use of the word 'Muggle' thought up by Roald Dahl on a whim to describe a family of monkeys, the Muggle-Wumps. Also, notice that Hermione's role in 'Chamber of Secrets' is lifted directly from Shakespeare's "The Winter's Tale".

 

And...let's see, British Kid finds out he's the greatest Wizard int he Universe, wears glasses, keeps Owl, tries not to let Magic interfere with his normal life, (later in the series) gets scar carved in head. Coincedence?

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GMan
Also, note that it's just a book series, and that there aren't any ripoffs of other works... What are you, a comic zealot?
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Beliwa: Toa of Demons

Not really. I just get angry that Rowling makes such a huge, money-sucking, action-figures-films-and-crockery producing Franchise out of her work when it's riddled with stuff lifted from other Authors, and isn't that good writing anyway - how can you follow the same character around for Seven Books without getting bored? That's right, just throw overly-dramatised plot devices at him, such as the classic 'Teenage Angst' or 'You Are The Chosen One' Dilemmas.

 

I'm thinking that her work is so popular because of the shock/suspense value in sadistically killing off so many 'Key Characters' so as to upset ickle Harry & his own rabid fangroup, as well as the fact that its hype spins out of control so often. Have you heard about their Conventions? Utterly Bonkers.

 

Anyway, I've never complained about your abuse of Chris Paolini (mostly because I agree with it...his work is far too generic).

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GMan
Who can't hate Eragon? It's nothing but plagiarism, stereotypes, and Paolini's obsession with leatherclad elves.
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Beliwa: Toa of Demons

...Which is how I feel about Harry Potter (and to a larger extent, the Ella Enchanted Movie. The Phrase 'Ethnic Stereotype' was roadtested to see how far it could be driven).

 

Let's just stick to our own viewpoints and quit fighting, eh?

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GMan
Yeah... Let's just turn this to chatting about something else... Road to El Dorado, for example.
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Beliwa: Toa of Demons

Yeah... Let's just turn this to chatting about something else... Road to El Dorado, for example.

 

...Which has been Dreamwork's Best Two-Dimensional work in years, and one of its most unappreciated.

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GMan
I know... The brilliant acting, the deep plot, the great music of Elton John and Tim Curry, the humor... *sigh* I hope it develops a cult following. It certainly deserves 24-hour marathon showings on Cartoon Network like the Iron Giant gets...
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Wrinkledlion X

Yeah... Let's just turn this to chatting about something else... Road to El Dorado, for example.

It's tough to be a god,

When you're mere mortals and a fraud!

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Beliwa: Toa of Demons

Yeah... Let's just turn this to chatting about something else... Road to El Dorado, for example.

It's tough to be a god,

When you're mere mortals and a fraud!

 

'The Stars are not properly ALIGNED for such a sacrifice!'

 

'He's right. Stars.'

 

'Can't Do it.'

 

'Not today.'

 

I'd love it if they did some sort of remake, but live-action. The cast would look amazing at it. It'd be the answer to Apocalypto.

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GMan
I'd love to see a live adaptation too... Unfortunately, the politically correct atmosphere would make a big stink about the blending of South American indigenous cultures, and they'd be shouting "RACISM! CULT WORSHIP OR SOMETHING! BURN THEM!"
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