Spoil it all! Let the spoilage run deep through your veins!

I'll never turn to the Dark Side!  I am a Jedi, like my father before me!

I'll never turn to the Dark Side!  I am a Jedi, like my father before me!

 

I'll never turn to the Dark Side!  I am a Jedi, like my father before me!

Mickey never told you about your father, did he?

 

He told me enough...

He told me you turned him into a Heartless!

 

 

I'll never turn to the Dark Side!  I am a Jedi, like my father before me!

Mickey never told you about your father, did he?

 

 

He told me enough...

 

He told me you turned him into a Heartless!

 

*another Zox walks in* And I'm your Nobody-Father!

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!*

*barring any extreme retcons I'm not currently aware of

Search your feelings! You know the retcon is valid!

*reads through Reports, starts crying*

NOOOO, NOOOOOOOO

Pahrak, you can destroy the Master! He has foreseen this. The retcon is your destiny! Join me, and together we can rule Kingdom Hearts as Father and Son. Come with me. Retcons are the only way!

Insert speech about friendship

*drops down bottomless shaft, Aqua swings by on Keyblade Glider to retrieve*

And then Simple and Clean probably plays?

Sounds about right.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the plot to Kingdom Hearts IV: The Heart Awakens

and that title sounds like it belongs to a romance novel

Or worse: a fanfic

I can't wait until Kingdom Hearts V: The Disney Strikes Back

YAY I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS.