This is basically for guys. Girls, sorry, but I kind of have the advantage of being the same gender as the guys, so it's much easier for me to get where they're coming from. And the perspectives here are two totally different ones, really.

So yeah, guys.

You're going to/have reached a point where you start liking girls. Some of you may think this is weird still, some of you have probably been liking girls for a long time now, some of you are older than me and are thinking "What's this guy ranting about?", so just hear me out. I'm doing my best to speak to a good range of people here. Also know that I'm speaking from multiple viewpoints, some which are older and some which are younger than myself.

First of all, those of you who still don't like girls, guys, you're going to. Yeah, I know, it may seem really weird, but it's going to happen. I could give you the whole biological lowdown on it, but the basic point is: It's inevitable. Some of you may hold out longer than others, but it's going to happen.

Trust me, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Really. No, seriously, join the club. If your friends still don't like girls and you do, then just wait. Eventually, it'll get to the point where you're all comfortable with it. And once you all are, believe me, you're going to talk about it a lot. So don't feel ashamed of it. It may feel weird, but that's basically natural. I mean, it's a new experience, right? We tend to feel weird about stuff like this, particularly us as guys, because we feel we have a certain obligation to be masculine.

So if you've just started liking girls, don't feel like it's going to go away. The awkwardness will go away eventually, but you're just starting, man. Girls are going to be a serious mental nag. You're going to develop crushes, some bigger than others, and as you get older, things start happening.

You may start feeling more awkward around girls (or the particular girl that you like), possibly girls that you never had trouble talking to or maybe never talked to before. That's OK, really. It just means that you're not really sure how to respond yet. And how could you? Like I said, it's a new experience, and we tend to be tentative or cautious about new situations (unless you're a daredevil, in which case, hoo boy).

Oh, and before I go any further, let me tell you exactly what a crush is. A crush is basically an infatuation with another person of the opposite gender (for us, a girl). In short, a crush is where you like someone "from a distance". Basically, you just like them because you've observed them and something about them attracts you. As you get older, you may experience some more personal crushes, as in girls that are maybe your good friends, but usually you start with some distant crushes. It's a pretty nice way to start, since generally, these don't hurt anybody.

Guys, let me just tell you right now, a crush is generally 99% you. In other words, you're the single source of your own crush. Since a crush is generally private (till you hit Junior High/Middle School, in which case, it's generally considered public scandal ), you can rarely be swayed in who your crush is. I mean, unless your friend tells you that they feed on human flesh or something, generally you make your own decisions on the matter.

And be warned, crushes can be delusional. You can take some things way too seriously or way too lightly under the influence of a crush (oh great, now I sound like a PSA). Seriously, though. If you invite her and some of her friends to a party, and she says 'No', she's probably not rejecting you directly, she probably just doesn't want to go. But still, something in the back of your mind makes a transfer, and you just kind of assume, "Oh, she's not interested. Dang!" That's a pretty calm mindset (I've seen worse), but still delusional. So just don't assume. You'll save yourself a lot of face that way.

Okay, here's one big thing I wanted to hit on. Guys, sometimes you'll try to act different around your crush. There are multiple reasons for this. Maybe you think that being yourself isn't good enough, maybe you just don't know what to do, heck, maybe you want to stave her off. Whatever it is, look out. Don't do anything stupid like...

• Start acting like a total foulmouth when you really aren't
• Try to be the unsaid BMOC
• Brag about yourself all the time
• Act all flirty (Oh, gosh, you have no idea how bad this looks... ><)
• Try to deliberately act like a "jock" (AKA a person who generally is just mean, in the stereotypical sense)
• Put down everyone around you
• Be a totally spontaneous spaz

And guys, a few other things, especially around girls you know...

• Don't treat her like just another guy. Really. While it may feel more natural, you have to remember she is a girl, and as such, that has to be respected. That means don't tell her your gross jokes, don't start making weird sounds with your armpit, that stuff.

• Don't give her all the attention all the time. Geez, guys, for people who generally like to keep this stuff secret, we sure stink at doing it. It's pretty obvious when you like someone if you're constantly talkign directly to them, regardless of who's speaking, and constantly looking at them. That doesn't mean you shouldn't give her attention, but seriously, if there are other people around, a little acknowledgment will not hurt.

• Don't try to bring up romantics. It gets pretty obvious when a guy's in C-Mode (aka Crush Mode) when he starts bringing up romance. If you wouldn't do it normally, good grief, don't do it now! You'll be getting weird looks for the rest of the day.

Now, a lot of you are probably at the point where you want to "ask her out". Now, few people realize what responsibility those three words hold. Guys, remember, that when you commit to being someone's "boyfriend", it is a commitment. That means you've got to be the boyfriend. You've got to pay special attention to her, stand up for her, all that. So if you think dating or being a couple is just about getting your arm up around her shoulder in the movie theater, you've got a lot to learn.

You need to really be serious if you want to ask a girl out. Guys, seriously. I really don't care too much for these "relationships" I hear about that go on in 4th Grade, because generally it contends to the fact that neither is very serious about it. I'd at least wait beyond 7th Grade. The youngest serious relationships I see going on are in the 8th Grade, but these are still some special people we're talking about.

Remember, only ask out a girl when you are sure that you can handle that situation of being her boyfriend.

Yeah, some of you are probably thinking "Uh...OK?", right?

Well, trust me, if you don't find it out here, you'll find it out on your own time or from others.

Anyway, considering that you are actually ready for this kind of thing, guys, make sure you check your intentions before trying anything. Honestly, make sure that you...

• Aren't just wanting to go out with her because all your other friends have girlfriends. Being in a relationship is about you and her, not about other people. So if you start something around that basis, you can bet that it will probably crash to the ground.
• Aren't just asking her out because everyone says you should. Some people seem perfect for each other in theory, then end up being a mess in experiment. If you feel nothing, then don't listen to the masses.
• Aren't just asking her out to say you've asked out a girl. Dating isn't about getting a reputation, guys. It's about two people in a relationship that goes beyond friendship. So please don't make this mistake like so many others!
• Aren't just asking her to make someone else jealous. Yeah, sounds right out of a soap opera doesn't it? But believe me, the teenage mind works in mysterious ways, and you really have to double-check your motive. More than once, have I caught my friends doing this, and for the most part, they didn't even realize it.
• Aren't just asking her out because you're bored. Guys, relationships are scary things, and they shouldn't be based off of whims.
• Aren't just asking her out as a joke/because someone dared you to. That's low. Period.
• Aren't just asking her out because you're lonely. That's what friends are for, and I think it's good to experiment with friends before you try to move onto a real relationship.

Guys, the number one reason you should be asking her out is because you want to and think you're ready. If that's not it, check yourself. Your motives are not limited to this list, but if your intention isn't your own, then you need to do some seriously soul-searching.

No, I'm not going to give you tips on how to score a date or how to be a wonderful boyfriend or any of that. Yeah, I know, you can start breathing again. Guys, I'm not trying to be Dr. Love or anything of that sort, because really I'm not. I just want to alert you to what's going on here.

If you haven't figured it out yet, to us guys, girls are the most confusing thing in the world. We really just don't get them, so the concept of possibly wanting to date one is freaky. I hope that somewhere in this little rant of mine, you've picked up something, and if you haven't, then hopefully you will someday.

And anyway, that's all I really wanted to say.

Awkwardly,

Dr. Bionicle