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So I Found These Lists...


Nightwingfan

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Okay, on a Harry Potter fansite, I found some really funny lists. They're things like "196 Ways to Annoy Harry Potter. The site has forums, so I can't link to them, but I will post some of my favorite lists, narrowed down to my favorites.

 

9 Ways to Annoy/Scare Harry Potter

If nothing else, it'll get you on his bad side!

  • "So... first you were the Boy Who Lived… then you were a nutcase... now you're The Chosen One. Why don't they just add it together so that you're the "Chosen Nutcase Who Lived?"
  • Tell him that he should stop pretending to be Harry Potter and to wipe the fake scar off his head.
  • Every time you see him, say "Do you like Luna Lovegood?" in a sing-song voice.
  • Ask him if thestrals have pretty eyes.
  • Re-enact his triumph over the dragon in the first task. Then ask if you can do it again on his Firebolt.
  • Buy him concealer and tell him to put it over his scar so Voldemort won't recognize him.
  • Tell him Moaning Myrtle has fallen in love with him and make sure he goes to ask her about it.
  • Run up to him giggling and say, "Romilda Vane says you have a tattoo on your chest. Can I see it?"
  • Tell him that if he dies defeating the Dark Lord, you want his broomstick.

 

Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort

Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again

  • Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
  • Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
  • Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
  • Dance the Funky Chicken.
  • Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
  • Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
  • If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
  • Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'
  • Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
  • Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'
  • Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
  • Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
  • Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
  • If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!
  • Buy him a stress ball.
  • Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.
  • ..at Christmas.
  • On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.
  • ..make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.
  • Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!!"

 

Narcissa Malfoy's Top Ten Disgustingly Cute Names for Draco
  • Ickle-Drakey-Wakey
  • Drakey-Dookie-Diddy-Dums
  • Drakey-Diddy-Dobby-Doo
  • Snoogie-Woogie-Drakey-Poo
  • Drakey-Dinky-Dookie-Doodums
  • Drakey-Poopsie-Oopsie-Goo
  • Drakey-Dimsy-Mimsy-Doo-Doo
  • Drakey-Doody-Sweetie-Dookums
  • Dipsy-Doopsy-Drakey-Poo
  • YOU %!#@&* BRAT!!!

 

That last one's my favorite.

 

-BK-

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