So I believe I'm actually attempting to get myself into some sort of warped and disturbed schedule. As though I was trying to give all two of you who read my blog some sort of regular basis on which you could read my disconnected and generally insane thoughts.

No, I don't know what I'm smoking. Chances are I shouldn't be, though...whatever it is.

So with enough lead-in, let's get right to the point of this entry.

Now, let me go on record as saying I cannot believe I just took the time to colour all that. I mean, wow, that's lame. And it looks ugly, I know it looks ugly. Claidi would smack me over the head with her journal. Hard. Ow.

Now for those of you not in the know (AKA: All of you minus Lah) The Claidi Journals are in fact a series of four books--about a girl by the name of Claidi (SHOCKING!) Or possibly Claidi-baa-baa. If you're a brat.

The entire series begins (surprisingly enough) at the beginning, the first book (Which actually could have been the only book. It was that good)

In this book we meet the young Claidi, our heroine and possibly creator, depending on how you look at it. Claidi's story is told, interestingly enough more of an epistulary format, with everything happening just slightly after real-time.

Essentially the entire story is told through a series of messages to herself--hence the name of the entire series The Claidi Journals.

Now we meet Claidi as a young slave girl--and unlike a lot of slave stories I didn't find myself going "Dude, lame," or even "A slave would be murdered for that," or my personal favourite "This makes no sense." Nay, instead I found myself becoming genuinely interested in the world that Claidi painted before me--a very strict culture wherein RULES and TRADITIONS are ironclad and sacrosanct (They're really, really important).

Naturally, our young heroine manages to escape this prison-of-a-home (Oh come on, do you really want to read the real adventures of a slave girl? "On sunday I washed the mistresses' laundry--on Monday we had a scary experience, someone lost a shoe." I mean, I will be honest, Claidi's slave life is more interesting than most, but had the entire book been like that I would have been driven utterly mad.

Now I'll let you guys in a little bit more than you'll find on the back cover--Claidi's escape is done thanks to a mysterious stranger (Who isn't tall, nor dark--but he is handsome. Two outta three isn't bad) named Nemian. Now allow me a moment to say HATE. But nothing more on that.

Claidi and Nemian escape out into the world away from her harsh upbringing--why, praytell? Because Nemian plans to take her to the place of her birth...the Mysterious and (seriously) far away Wolf Tower.

Aaaand exit stage left.

No, the book doesn't end there, but I'm not going to tell you everything that happens, jeeze!

Suffice to say that I am a seasoned veteran of Fantasy and Sci-fi, I know what I like, and I know what I don't like--and the Claidi Journals (Especially the first and fourth) snared me like a fish on a hook. There's something intriguing and original about them that just keeps you coming. Be ready for plenty of twists though.

Aaaaaaand all the way to the next book

The next book begins with Claidi Spoilering Spoiler, after that Spoiler manages to get Spoiler, and our unlucky heroine is taken to Spoiler to meet Spoiler.

Okay, I had to do that. I absolutely had to, just because I could. I HAVE THE POWER.

Aaaanyhow, the next book in The Claidi Journals begins with our heroine Claidi, fresh from her adventures in the world, and especially with the Wolf Tower....unnnfortunately for her (But lucky for us, so we're not, y'know, bored) she's KIDNAPPED and taken to a mysterious location far above a far off jungle. It's known simply as The Rise.

Now I must interject and say this, The Rise drives me absolutely insane. It is quite possibly the most inane place in the world that seems like it was made simply because someone went "I can do this, whee!" (Which of course it was. Lucky me)--Why do I say this? Why simply because The Rise moves around at random--yes, you heard me right. It moves. A room one ONE side of The Rise could be across the enormous complex overnight.

It would drive me Insane.

Anyhow, at the rise Claidi meets the mysterious (everything is mysterious in these books. EVERYTHING. A flower? MYSTERIOUS.) Prince Venn--who looks disturbingly like somebody she left behind. Of course it's left up to us (as the back cover says) to uncover why Venn and Claidi have been brought to The Rise and what purpose lays for them there.

Well, I won't spoil it, but I'll tell you this. The Wolf Star.

An unnaturally bright star that rises circles the sky and then sets in the same location.

Interested yet?

Too bad, next book.

First off, allow me to say: THIS IS TRICKY. Trying to explain all that's transpired in these books without giving away key things from the first is tricky. So here's the deal, stop reading this blog right now, okay? Good, go to www.Amazon.com. Awesome, now search for "The Claidi Journals" got that? good, buy them. Buy them all. DO IT.

And now on with the...talking? Typing? Explaining?

When we last left Claidi she had managed to escape the aggravating and active Rise, and return to her home (No, not the one where she's a slave. She's not that stupid)--unfortunately people lied about her, and now home isn't exactly home again. Leaving on the trail of her fast-moving lover she encouters all sorts of weirdness, such as a talking animal (Doesn't happen much in this story, sorry folks) and a weird town that tends to be either red or pink. <3 pink.

Soon after visiting the town, and being tailed by a MYSTERIOUS (There's today's buzzword, kids) and menacing JELLY (Yeah, I know, it's hard to be menacing with a name like that. Give him credit where it's due.) She's sent packing off to the North, where it always snows (No, it's not Canada. it doesn't do that here. I'm serious.)

In the North she finds something she never expected to find--people who could be her true family, and the respect of a people--but they're also people from a mysterious and supposedly defunct tower, like the Wolf Tower from so long ago.

Like before, I can't explain much about the title of this one, because spoilers freakin' abound. But I'll simply say this. A Wolf Queen who can control the towers is supposed to be born.

Exuent book the third, naturally there's plenty of stuff you're missing, but you need to BUY THE BOOKS.

First of all, yes, your mind is not playing tricks on you. That is a FACE MOUNTAIN. Second of all, yes, it creeped me out too. I mean, LOOK AT IT.

Now to begin with, Claidi, our dearest and darling heroine has grown up--nay, she has matured, and is now in fact married. Give her a hand folks!

NOW.

With the applause out of the way, following her wedding, her new hubby and her fancy a trek back to her old crazyslavehome. Luckily a rebellion has occured, so their wedding present isn't forcing her into old rags and making her clean the toilet. (Lucky for her, huh?)

After catching up with some friends of hers, they are sent a communique from someone with power in the Wolf Tower--and we discover that a powerful force has been in existance all this time--perhaps manipulating and controlling Claidi and her friends, altering the way the world works for her own whims.

This woman, Ustareth, as she's named on the cover has incredible power and has managed to amass her own little world...but she asks that our heroine and her entourage visit her.

Now I gotta say, after reading through all the other books, I was scared about what might happen in this one. I mean, even once you get over the FACE MOUNTAIN there's a mysterious woman who's possibly been manipulating them since birth? Hello, creeped out much?

As for this title, I can't say anything on it, there's absolutely nothing that can be said.

Oh yeah, there is this.

BUY THE BOOKS.

Next up: Why my room is a nightmare

On The Current state of BIONICLE

Judgement: The beginning of 2006