I have this strange feeling that all the sympathy I get is fake, and I don't know why.

One of my Ducks got hit by a Duck-icidal maniac in a Speed boat yesterday.

I can't get any servers on Halo Multiplayer.

Girls run away from me.

I'm mortally wounded. X(

People constantly try to pity me. I do not understand why. I hope asking for pity will cure this condition (or maybe using bad grammar would help).

I play with Lego.

-Omi

My boil is being effected by the nuclear power plant next door.

MB has spoken

I'm forced to take swimming lessons.

And my leg is itchy.

I'm seeking pity from Exo.

My life is perfect in every way, and I can not think of any problems I have with it. Just stopping to say hi.

I'm me.

*Strazz*

I DEMAND SOME PITY DARN IT.

It's ok, Lehatu, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Ducky O'Dalek, everything will be alright.

It's ok, D.Q., everything will be alright.

It's ok, Biomech, everything will be alright.

It's ok, MercenaryXero, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Mace Whenua, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Omicron, everything will be alright.

It's ok, MatoranBuilder, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Dr. Wonko, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Zonis, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Phyoohrii, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Bionicle Dragon, everything will be alright.

It's ok, Strazz: RuroKen Fanatic, everything will be alright.

I feel for all of you.

Except you don't.

=D

Your pity is the suck.

i am serus

You cheered me up!

But my boil... it's so big... wait a minute... IT'S SPEAKING! It says it wants to destroy the world with nuclear power! Save me! I live at --gaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk--

MB has spoken

I don't need your pity, you need mine though.

I'm sorry [insert name here], it'll be alright.

i am serus

 

-Exo

Sirius?! OMG Harry is gonna be SO happy. =D

My parents are pressuring me into liking a girl I don't like as anything but a friend.

Sucks to be you. Pity window's closed.