[A-listen to me now.] Cheer up, Coach Z. It doesn't have to be,

Creepy and depressing all the time.

[For real?]

If you learn how to say words right,

You'll find out people might,

Not throw up so much when they talk to you!

[Oh that'd be nice!]

Now listen to me. It's almost Decemberween,

And there's not a single present beneath your tree.

When someone asks you, "What's up?",

Don't tell him about your butt,

Or any embarrassing physical problems you might have.

[i collect those!]

And when you're talking to a pretty girl,

On second thought, don't talk to any pretty girls.

And you'll find yourself invited,

And probably way less indicted.

And you won't have to spend Decemberween alone!